[krisakira]

So tomorrow I have an appointment for a screening for partial day hospitalization. I haven't been doing well but I'm not suicidal so my pdoc thinks this is the best option. If I get through screening, I'll start Monday. I'll have to be there for about 4 hrs a day... I'm so nervous!!!!! They will want me to stop cutting. Part of me doesn't want to. But things are getting so bad. I just hope they don't make me go inpatient. I would hate that. I feel so unstable. I wish I could just feel better.

[splitimage]

I know it's scary - but partial hospitalization can be helpful. I'm just finishing a 3 week partial hospitalization hospitalization that was from 9-2 every day. it was actually pretty good. I was sent there because my addictions Dr. was worried about suicidality, but my main pdoc didn't thing I was really at risk so wouldn't admit me at his hospital. I wound up doing the partial program as a compromise. We had lots of groups, and they look at what meds you're on. My program also had a social worker and occupational therapist that you could talk to. Because I'm also an alcoholic, I wound up seeing the hospital's addiction speciailist every day for a one on one session for an hour which has been amazing.

then when you're done the partial hospitalization program they refer you to less intensive groups so that you're still getting support.

Good luck wih it.

splitimage

Partial hospitalization programs have helped me. I went to one in 2009 for about 3 months and a separate PHP program in 2011 also for around 3 months. Early on they help only because being in those programs means I am getting dressed everyday. I'm very shy so I don't socialize much there. Usually the programs help in other ways after a few weeks when I start really trying to absorb what they "teach".

[krisakira]

The screening is in a few hours and I'm freaking out!!!!

[krisakira]

I am officially going to be starting the program monday morning... wish me luck

[splitimage]

Good luck - I hope that you find it helpful.

splitimage

[krisakira]

So it's been over a week since I started the program and I have to say it's helping some. It really isn't helping as much as I'd like, but maybe i'll get more out of it this week. There are 2 staff ladies, a nurse and a T, who are in charge of us (also a recreational therapist who takes me to the gym/crafts). Well I do not like the T because she has said some mean things to me (you could read it in my other thread about being teased) but the nurse is actually pretty cool. I feel like I have gotten closer to her today because she does 2 groups a day and they are educational and she was talking about my bipolar disorder and its symptoms and I don't know, it just made me feel like she totally understands, I mean she has to since she's the nurse. She has made complements to me, too. She is so nice to me. By the end of the day I just wanted to be around her as much as possible. Sitting next to her, walking by her side in the hallway.. feeling good when we would get close to each other. Part of me wants to just lean on her and have her put her arm around me. I'm so weird like that. I will see someone as completely good or completely bad. The T is completely bad, and the nurse is good. I guess I take that to an extreme on some level. But yeah, I really am becoming attached to the nurse...

[Perna]

That's wonderful that you are learning so much and getting some insight (T completely bad/nurse good) you might be able to work with. I hope this week goes really well for you and helps you as much as you'd like.