[ladyrevan21]

Can't say I have much to report (although that could be because this week's disastrous therapy session already freed up a lot of memories that I'd been holding in, so the majority of the mind gunk is at least on the table) except that I had a decent neurofeedback session. Watched The Force Awakens, which my neurofeedback guy apparently had a copy of, awesomely enough, and it got me reflecting more on my teenage years when I used to read the Star Wars Expanded Universe (which they borrowed some stuff from, including the villain himself in some fashion) -- and I personally think that The Force Awakens did stuff a lot better than the later Star Wars Expanded Universe stuff. Because in the latter, Han's generally an awful father and I didn't buy his relationships with his kids

Possible trigger:

(he blames his youngest son for a significant death in one of the earlier books even though the latter sacrificed himself to save them plus a whole bunch of other people, and says twice that his son who turned to the Dark Side -- named Jacen in the books -- should have died: one of those times is "we should have killed him as a baby" -- I wish I was making this up -- and the other was, to the son's face, "You should have died in battle." I mean...call me soft, but there's zero excuse for saying that to or about your own child)

while in the former, thanks to the acting on both Harrison Ford and Adam Driver's parts -- plus Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, and Peter Mayhew later on -- a great score, and a lot of compassion and emotional honesty in the writing for both characters, I bought it completely. And the fact that JJ Abrams did tap into how horrifying it is to lose a child -- I'm not a parent myself (I'm too young), but it does feel very accurate. It's sort of like what that original arc in the Expanded Universe could have been if the authors knew anything about writing people.

And of course, from watching the beginning of the film (I only saw the first bits of it up to Rey and Finn escaping Jakku; it was just other stuff that made me think back to all this), Rey is awesome, Poe is awesome, Finn is awesome...just about all the cast is awesome. It was definitely a joy seeing it again.

(I also realized that for some reason, I'm kind of drawn to stories about family and the meaning of family, and that if someone's mistreating a kid, whether it be theirs or someone else's, I get pretty angry. Maybe it's my old school issues shining through)

My neurofeedback guy and I mostly worked on stuff to reduce my anxiety. Not sure if it's taken effect, but it has broken my writer's block, which is something.