[ladyrevan21]

First off, it occurred to me that I might have been misnumbering things. Sorry about that. So the tenth session, where I actually get to examine my brain, may happen in three sessions. My neurofeedback guy and I talked, and based on certain reactions I've had in my past and in my present, he's brought up the very likely possibility that I have some sort of dissociative issue -- stuff like derealization, etc. Which explains a lot about my occasional feelings of, for example, being caught in a nightmare while being in a conflict at, say, school. It was after I brought up the feeling of not being quite connected with my body that he brought up that idea. We did the neurofeedback thing to also work on certain symptoms that have worsened after new memories that came up and the matter of the news about a new therapist.

I watched some of Jurassic World again, and found more to appreciate about it; the scene with Hoskins talking with Owen is wonderfully unsettling, just with Hoskins' body language (and Owen's), the dialogue, etc. It's subtle, but unsettling nonetheless. The filmmakers really do communicate a lot without making things too explicit. I really do love that movie; both it and Jurassic Park have become weird sort of comfort movies. Maybe it's because I have a soft spot for dinosaurs. As a kid, I was a big fan.

So I'm going to have to keep tabs on how long things last. In the meantime, I've started working on getting back inside my body again, which is...something.