[monkeybrains21]

So it looks like I am starting EMDR next week. Ppl at PC have informed me about and T spoke how she does it. Question is what the hell are they doing? Are they sitting there watching? It makes me very uneasy to be watched. I kno all my anxieties over this are in my head and I can't control everything but I like to kno as much as possible about the scenario I'll be going into. Just any and all experiances of what their T does would be much appreciated.

[Out There]

Hi , I've had EMDR , I didn't experience it as being ' watched ' overly. I understand that people are nervous about what its going to be like and how it feels.

[monkeybrains21]

I am extremely anxious. When T was explaining it I completely zoned out and she noticed. I mean I zone out a lot where I don't feel anything is real and I'm in a first person game or something but that was a first to zone so fast and hard.

[Out There]

It wasn't a bad experience. It was difficult but very helpful for me and I would do it again.

[pattijane]

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

So it looks like I am starting EMDR next week. Ppl at PC have informed me about and T spoke how she does it. Question is what the hell are they doing? Are they sitting there watching? It makes me very uneasy to be watched. I kno all my anxieties over this are in my head and I can't control everything but I like to kno as much as possible about the scenario I'll be going into. Just any and all experiances of what their T does would be much appreciated.

It sounds like you and your therapist didn't do the preparation phase work, or maybe not enough. You should not be working on processing memories until you have a firm basis in grounding resources. I strongly suggest you talk with your T about the following, the parts of "doing EMDR" that make up the REAL EMDR therapy protocol...

One of the initial EMDR therapy phases (Phase 2) involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need.

In phase 2 you learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR therapy is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you weren’t in the past, during traumatic events, or whatever disturbance(s) on which you’re working. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or any method of bilateral stimulation that feels okay to you) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and say just a bit of what you’re noticing, anything different, any changes. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR therapy techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.

Grounding exercises are essential. You can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). The book is an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions.

As a recently retired psychologist, I used EMDR therapy as my primary psychotherapy treatment and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my (now retired) role as a facilitator who trained other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Association and trained by the EMDR Institute, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR therapy successfully with panic disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams, and many other problems. It's a very gentle method with no significant "down-side" so that in the hands of a professional EMDR therapist, there should be no freak-outs or worsening of day-to-day functioning.

[monkeybrains21]

Pattijane

Thank u for ur response. By meaning starting EMDR we will be starting at the beginning. We aren't going to just jump in. My T is trained for it and we have been working on things to try and help me in grounding and finding a safe place. I have read ur posts before on EMDR and I've intensely researched and read as much as I can through the Internet. I understand we will be going very slowly most likely because I find it very hard to tell what I feel. T and I have been working on me identifying feelings in me. I logically kno what they are but having never felt or been able to identify say happiness or joy it's hard for me to tell what I feel.

The most I've really been able to do is compare it to the grinch and his heart and how when he does evil or bad things it shrinks. But when he does good things or is happy his heart grows. That's what I've been trying to identify. I can't feel my heart grow. I can't feel the void I feel in my chest get smaller. I have to compare it to other things since I don't know what feelings I feel. I have to describe them. That's when T gives it a name and I'm learning to identify that feeling and relate it to the name.

T has me do homework and has me read it to her. Then we talk about it. She tells me the. Natural feelings ppl feel for what I've written and we talk about what I'm feeling.

[Out There]

Wish you the best Monkey brains. I did in fact read your post and clearly it is not what you said. Check out response to suzzie on goal of EMDR session thread. Nearly cut and paste. Feel free to PM. I have had several members do this.

I hope you can update us on your EMDR therapy as you progress, Monkey. I am keenly interested in the therapy and it would be great to hear of others' experiences with it.
Wishing you well!

[monkeybrains21]

Yeah sure I'll keep ppl in the loop. At least it'll be an unbiased assessment from someone who is so new to MI and therapy as a whole

[monkeybrains21]

Originally Posted by Onward

I hope you can update us on your EMDR therapy as you progress, Monkey. I am keenly interested in the therapy and it would be great to hear of others' experiences with it.
Wishing you well!

so the update is we just talked about EMDR last night and went through how it works and any of my concerns. we also got my safe place, i dunno if its the right term, but formed. im even thinking of possibly painting it. havent decided yet. i was goingto last night but it was late and i had to get to bed. ill update again after next meeting.

[monkeybrains21]

in case anyone still remembered or even cared. i did do EMDR a few more times. i took a very long break from it after a really intense session that left me very upset. it had nothing to do with my T doing anything wrong, it was a realization i had come to afterwards.

[Lolina]

Hello Monkeybrains,
I would love to try EMDR to get rid of my need to push people away. I am very selective, so selective that I am more and more lonely and it's very difficult for me to form new relationships.

Please tell me how it goes for you and how it is. Do you feel like your life has improved and in how many sessions?

Thank you in advance

[Werewoman]

Hi Monkeybrains21,

I have years of experience with EMDR as a patient, and I can tell you at best, it works great. At worst, it simply doesn't work, but your last post tells me it's working for you.

I know it seems strange when " i took a very long break from it after a really intense session that left me very upset. it had nothing to do with my T doing anything wrong, it was a realization i had come to afterwards." but I've had the very same experience many, many times.

Those realizations can knock the breath out of you - literally. I used to scare the heck out of my dog sometimes. I think she thought I was dying or something, and I had days when I wondered that myself. The point is, EMDR can be rough at times (sometimes a lot) but it does work. I can do so many things now, and say so many words that at one time I couldn't because of the trauma associated with them. Now I can look at those same things and remember that they once paralyzed me, but now, they're just another memory.

Good Luck and keep posting. I for one am very interested in your progress and your experience with EMDR.

WW

[Lolina]

Hi werewoman,
how many sessions did you have? When did you start feeling better?
I have started seeing a Psychologist yesterday, my insurance won't pay for anything so all the cost are on me. Needless to say that I don't want the sessions to last forever. I want something quick like 6/8 sessions.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Lolina

Hi werewoman,
how many sessions did you have? When did you start feeling better?
I have started seeing a Psychologist yesterday, my insurance won't pay for anything so all the cost are on me. Needless to say that I don't want the sessions to last forever. I want something quick like 6/8 sessions.

Oh sweetie, that's not the way it works at all. I'm sorry to have to tell you that. I did weekly sessions for 18 months at $100 a session and that was a decade ago. I don't know what they cost now. My last therapist only charged $75, but she was semi-retired and only working with me because she wanted to finish what we started.

It depends on the seriousness of your issue/issues you're working on. In my case, my abuse was severe, and it was physical, sexual, mental, and emotional, so it took a lot of sessions to work through a lifetime of horrors. That may not be the case with you, so it may only take 6 to 8 sessions, but there's no way of knowing ahead of time that I can think of. If there's a 'quick' way to recover from PTSD, I don't know what it is, but if it's a single trauma, then you're chances are pretty good that you will only need a few sessions.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. Good luck and I hope you and monkeybrains21 keep us posted on how it goes for you. I'm always interested in how well EMDR works for others because it worked so well for me.

There's a new therapy I want to try called 'Reset' that uses sound frequencies that's proving to be very effective from what I've heard.

[Lolina]

Hello,
Thank you for your answer. I have started the work and I will see how it goes. I have had a few awful experiences and some I tried to forget about and might have succeeded. I will see how it goes.