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Account Suspended
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: California Uber Alles
Posts: 9,150
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#1
Because I expressed my honest feelings to my vindictive cousin, was trusting enough to confide in her that I "sometimes think of suicide" (no plan, no actual attempt!!), 911 was notified and I was pounced on, held down, and forced into painful handcuffs by 2 Goliath-sized cops. This was despite the fact that I was being totally cooperative, and attempting to have some kind of calm dialogue with the cops (they refused to listen to me).
Once at the hospital I was forced into a tiny room with no windows and very little air pumped-in air. I already battle chronic pain; after the handcuffs digging into and twisting my wrists so that my entire body was misaligned during the frightening ride, squeezed into the tight back seat of the cop car...in that cell I felt I was suffocating. In addition, I was in terrible physical pain. I quietly told the attending MD that I had been arrested for having bipolar disorder. That was exactly the truth. The one difference, the singular difference, was that the sign said "hospital" rather than "jail". I was told not to take my Seroquel because I must not be asleep when the steady stream of (entirely bland, jaded, and totally uncaring) MD's, pdocs, and nurses streamed in. As a result, I could not sleep all night. The worst, and most dangerous, state for me is exhaustion. By late morning I was sick from Seroquel withdrawal, exhaustion, and a complete lack of food while I was imprisoned in the cell. I had been taken in close to 9 p.m., but was not served breakfast until 8:30 a.m. I had not yet eaten dinner the night before when I was forced into custody. So I had gone 15 hours with no food. I was told that I was to be transported 90 miles from my home to a "facility", where I would be held for 3 days - or more, up to weeks - or even more, depending upon my "attitude and behavior". The terror I felt was beyond any panic I have ever experienced in my life, and I know panic, all too well. My cats were, of course, in my home. When I told a nurse that I was extremely worried about their well-being, she told me that she would call animal control to check on them. Then I did scream. I died inside. I was completely unable to escape that prison. Absolutely no way to get out to take care of my precious family of furbabies, and to get sleep. If someone takes my cats, or if one or more run out of the door, that is IT for me. That IS my torture and death. Finally, a blessing. One nurse, one angel, actually listened to me. She listened to my honest story. And she believed me. That nurse went 10,000 miles out of her way to contact MD's, pdocs, and my own pdoc. Finally, finally, I was told that "things had been blown out of proportion and I was not an actual suicide risk". I was released after 18 hours in custody, not having had one moment of sleep, and with my med regimen entirely messed up. I will NEVER disclose to ANYONE IRL, or to anyone who knows my full name, unless that person is someone I am positive - no doubt whatsoever - that I am EVER having just the tiniest thought of hopelessness. I am writing this post because I want to warn other people with mental illness. If you are in crisis, do not go to the ER. Do not disclose to anyone who might call an emergency number on you. There is something terribly, horridly wrong with the mental health care system. It is a way to punish not to help. If you are in crisis, please - speak only with a friend that knows you, and knows you so well that s/he will not project his/her life issues onto you by placing you under mental illness arrest. Call a warmline from a telephone that cannot be traced to your location and, for God's sake, remain anonymous. The ending to this story...oh, so ironic. Overnight another shooting happened in Los Angeles.
Possible trigger:
So, what is the irony? People had called the cops before the shooting (days, weeks prior). What did the cops do? Nothing. Not. One. Thing. The people who called and reported that the man was acting strangely and making threats were told this: There is no evidence to 5150 the man. Our mental health system is a serious mess. |
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Anonymous32891, Anonymous47147, Anonymous55879, Bill3, kecanoe, LonesomeTonight, MickeyCheeky, MoxieDoxie, possum220, RomanSunburn, rwwff, SybilMarie, Travelinglady
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luvyrself, MickeyCheeky
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#2
That's awful, Laurie, you never deserved that I'm glad someone listened to you though
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*Laurie*, MickeyCheeky
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*Laurie*, MickeyCheeky
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: California Uber Alles
Posts: 9,150
(SuperPoster!)
9 5,382 hugs
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#3
Yes. I was blessed because someone actually bothered to hear my story. If my cats would have been taken, that would be it for me. If that happened, I would totally leave this country. I wouldn't care if I had to live on a street.
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Anonymous32891, MickeyCheeky, possum220
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#4
Laurie, I'm sorry that happened to you. I have kitties too so I understand that. ((gentle hugs)) Kit.
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*Laurie*, MickeyCheeky
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*Laurie*, MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
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Location: Italy
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#5
((((*Laurie*)))) I'm so sorry you were treated in such an horrible, dishuman way. I hope you're feeling a bit better now. I'm so sorry...
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*Laurie*
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*Laurie*
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: California Uber Alles
Posts: 9,150
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#6
Thank you, MC. You are so, so kind. Your caring means more to me than I can even express, because I just cry when I read your sweet posts.
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Anonymous32891, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Junior Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Europe
Posts: 12
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#7
Sounds like you were overreacting a little.
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Guest
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#8
Honestly, it's not a overreaction to care so much for your own pets.
For example, for myself, I fear having my two furbabies getting took away over my mental health issues. One of my two would never find a new home, she's not very confident outside (same as my previous furbaby Ebony was, in Ebony's case she'd suffered at the hands of sub-humans which made her scared of the outside world ) Tigger, I know, would be fine with new people around but my new furbaby Willow would never find a new home, she was in rescue for a long time with people laughing at her cause she had a stupid name in rescue Laurie cares so much for her own cats cause her furbabies are all she has |
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possum220
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?
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#9
Dont know if you can read this Laurie. I do hope you have managed to catch up on sleep and your furbabies are a big source of comfort.
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Anonymous32891
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
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#10
Laurie,
That is HORRIBLE! I had no idea someone could have the power to do something like that to another person. I would sure hesitate to suggest the ER to anyone else for a mental health emergency even though that's always what the hospital switchboard recordings tell you to do. |
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Anonymous32891
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#11
I'm very happy to hear a professional took charge and respected your needs while those needs were being ignored. Bless their cotton socks xo
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Anonymous32891
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Member
Member Since Aug 2018
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#12
and of course you would react if you left your pets home alone, not knowing what is happening for you. The person you told over-reacted, you never did, in my opinion anyway. Animals are precious beings as we are also.
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Anonymous32891
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
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#13
They are so rude and stupid! I went to one because I had self harmed from not being able to sleep and instead of the hospital taking me in I had to go to the psychward. I tried explaing to them it wasnt a psychiatric issue after 1 month in the hospital with a total of 10 hours sleep max they finally let me go but they put me on an injection of schziophrenia meds and I dont have that and must take it every month. Every night they pumped me up with phenobarb to try to get me to sleep. They even almost court ordered ECT! All because I wasnt falling asleep. Wth!! Im so sorry. I kept saying I cant sleep why arent you sending me to the regular hospital unit and they said your vitals are stable. No! They were not my heartrate was 126 at resting. Not mormal. The staff was so rude. Making jokes and being jerks. I really do wish I knew how to get them back for that.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
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#14
This sounds like an absolute nightmare.
My heart broke quite a bit for you when the nurse said she was going to call animal control. Maybe she didnt mean anything by it but wow... I cant imagine being taken away from your life and then expressing a concern and having someone basically start taking things away from you. I have pets, and I know that right there is where I would have absolutely lost it. I think nurses and doctors and the medical profession needs to remember hat people with mental illness are people too. Just trying to do the best that they can, and not intentionally “causing trouble for no reason”. The only reason I have EVER caused anything REMOTELY ABLE TO BE CALLED trouble is when I was in intense pain and terrified because I didnt understand what was happening to my mind. To take someone in that state and antagonize them to any extent, even minor ones, is sickening to me. Anyways. I hope you are doing better since this, and I am really sorry this was your experience |
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Travelinglady
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#15
I'm so sorry, Laurie. I think the mental health system is mentally ill.
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
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#16
This is one of our worst fears for all of us. I believe that those really in the know make a big distinction between planning it or not planning it. If you you folks tell someone you think you can trust, be sure to mention that and that that is an industry standard. This person undoubtedly though they were doing the right thing.
Suicide rates have been rising according to the CDC, and moreso among certain populations. However, there is no excuse for this. Laurie I have missed your posts. Hang in there, girl! Hugs! __________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Maine
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#17
This used to be my biggest fear until it was realized. I have a friend who is also mental ill who used to drink with me before I quit drinking. He supplied me with alcohol one night before he went to work knowing I was in a very bad place but I had requested alcohol and he obliged. Early morning came. Like 3 am and I'm oblivious still communicating and a hear someone pounding on my door. I have no idea what's going on but it clears my head a bit. I answer and it's 3 cops out on my 2nd floor deck. The push their way in and I go back to my kitchen and light a cigarette. They bombard me with questions about suicidal thoughts, being watched, taking pills, and drinking myself to death. I'm confused because I don't remember making any statements like that I had just been talking with my friend and listening to music. Yes I was in a bad way and drinking but I wasn't killing myself. I tried to talk to the officer and offer my phone for reference but I was dismissed and told to butt my smoke and go to the cruiser to go to the hospital. Which I promptly refused. He then yanked my cigarette away and crushed it out on my floor and physically struggled with me to put the handcuffs on. Which went on way too tight. Painfully tight. Obviously I had been drinking like I said and this confused me and made me extremely angry. He shoved me into the back of the car and shut the door on me, then shoved me in more and slammed the door again. We got to the hospital and I was not released from the cuffs. They sat me there for quite a while. When I was finally released there was dried blood around my wrists on both hands from where the cuffs dug in. The doc finally came to see me when they determined I was no longer drunk and asked for my side of what happened and I was basically dismissed with that's not what the officer said, that's not what the caller said. I told them to get my phone for proof and they wouldn't hear of it. My own psychiatrist stopped the move to a psych ward because she knew I was no danger and knew I had no history of suicide. My supposed trusted friend put me in a very hostile and scary situation just because his perception was off the mark. And he knew I was drunk! He dropped off the booze!! And the supposed threats to self? Song lyrics.. I named the singer in the text..
__________________ Im not crazy, my reality is just different than yours. |
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luvyrself
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