State Hospital Experiences

Just curious if anyone else who has had the pleasure would like to share anything at all about their experience. I know it may be that noone will want to share and that's fine, but I thought I would open this up and see.

As I have been more than happy to share before, I was in our our largest state hospital for 4 1/2 years. The reason for the admission was an Adderall relapse (I actually had a longstanding prescription for it, but took it improperly for about four days). A mini-relapse, basically. Very long story. My state has a very strange system for supervising people who have pled insanity, as I had for a car crash I caused during a psychotic episode in 2007. Someone was injured in that crash and despite the fact that everyone agreed I was completely out of my mind psychotic, the DA prosecuted the living sh** out of me. Trying to make a big splash. I was forced to plead insanity and enter into this crazy supervisory program. I had no other choice, other than the penitentiary. That's how Oregon does it.

And the program owns your *****. They can do anything with you. Like send you to the state hospital for almost five years for a brief Adderall relapse. It was an incredible experience. So sad. So many people there who had no business being in any psych hospital, much less that one. Others so sick, they might never get out. There were many who had no mental illness at all who had languished for years and years, with no chance of discharge anywhere on the horizon. Clinicians slant diagnoses and testimony falsely in order to maximize length of stay. It's bad. Really bad. Totally unethical and illegal. Zero oversight. Like I said, they own you.

And yet, there were also heroes. Staff members who helped me gather information for my book (I started writing it while I was there) I would never have had access to otherwise. Warned us of misconduct they saw among higher-ups. Those people risked their jobs to try to protect us. I will never forget them.

Anyhow, it was obviously a very traumatic experience. I am doing pretty well with it now. Writing, though difficult, has helped me. I want to speak for some of the patients and staff who have no voice, no seat at the table, no one to advocate for them.

Anyway, that's the short version of my story. I survived. I am much stronger now. Not much frightens me anymore. When you've lived on the maximum-security ward of the Oregon State Hospital with extremely dangerous people for 45 days, as I did, and survived it, it can give you some confidence. Thanks for reading.