[TerryL]

a while ago i posted about this episode from conan in japan. he rented a family and in the process had the man who acted as his father apologize to him for scolding him when he was a kid, over some spilled food.

it was really funny but i thought what if we could do this in real life? for many, fixing the past is very difficult if not impossible. and therapy doesn't work for everyone. so what if we could just hire people to help us recreate our childhoods and fix whatever needed to be fixed emotionally? to get nurtured instead of neglected, to get that apology, to have those voids filled and traumas healed. wouldn't it be great if this could work?

[CANDC]

Hi @TerryL - I hear you. I am sorry you suffered as a child as I guess we all have. It is not easy getting through all that.

Sometimes I have thought I could have turned out differently with a different childhood, but the problem with those hypothetical thoughts I have are that I would not be the person I am today. For better or worse, I think I would still stick with who I am now. Even the bullies who picked on me were only acting out the suffering in their lives. For so many years I blamed them for my state of mind, but the blame game did not work for me. It is only when I see that trauma, although painful and I would not recommend to anyone, has made me stronger and more resilient. It does not give people who hurt me a clean slate or a free pass, but it gives up the internal struggle to change the past, assign blame, or wish for a better or different life.

I guess I have worn out the past trying to think what I could have done differently, but I had to give up that mind game. Now I have to try and pick up the broken pieces and make a life with the time I have left.

Hope you get support and comfort for all you have endured.

[TerryL]

dear CANDC, i am so glad you are so well-adjusted about your past. i totally agree that understanding others and where they came from can in turn bring great comfort back to ourselves. i was unintentionally emotionally neglected as a child which indirectly led to many years of self-doubt and issues, but it did change me in some ways for the better too. i have developed empathy that i probably would not have had if i had not gone through what i went through. and it's really true, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. but i wish that journey could have been shorter and easier. i must say age and much reflection has brought peace into my heart. i posted because not everyone can find the peace we have found. many people have deep pain that they cannot resolve. i am hoping to help people find an alternative way to heal instead of being on meds or therapy that might not always be helpful. wishing you continued wellness.

[CANDC]

@TerryL
I hear you. A more supportive health care system that offers more extensive treatment for mental health issues would be a big advance to helping people move beyond the effects of their childhood.
@CANDC