EMDR

Did you find it helpful?

That's a good question. I think it differs on what comorbidities exist.

I found it more triggering and therefore not helpful. There were three different versions I tried over the years with three different providers. One was in a psych ward, where they only tried it on me for like 15 minutes. I think an intern was being trained, and he used a pencil. I have DID, but I didn't know it back then. All I kept thinking was how much I wanted to snatch that pencil out of the intern's hands and break it. But we didn't do that. The other time was with a very sweet T who met with us off the books (I paid full price) for PTSD treatment. I started crying and didn't feel comfortable anymore doing that. I think I ghosted her later, though I can't remember. I had DID, but I didn't know it back then. The final time was an attempt with a VA therapist at the Vet Center. She tried brainspotting, which is like EMDR. She tried that a few times, but in her notes, she wrote that I threw the headphones down and dissociated a lot. I switched therapists a few times before moving out of state. I don't think she was doing it correctly, because initially she tried the wand thing, which reminded us of the pencil, which only triggered us and made us feel more invalidated. Besides, we felt many different parts of our body, and so we weren't feeling good. She decided to just try the headphones on with the vascillating sounds from one ear to the next while we spoke. That didn't feel validating at all. We felt weird and highly dissociative. I don't recall throwing the headphones down, but maybe that was another alter/part of mine.

Needless to say, since the early 2000s to 2017, EMDR and brainspotting have not worked for me. But then again, I have DID and PTSD and maybe OCD, though that's still up in the air.

I'm a hot mess.

I've heard that EMDR works well for those with minimal PTSD as well as those with extensive CPTSD, but it's mostly the ones I knew who didn't have any comorbidities with other mental illnesses.

Also, although the studies on victimization and criminology state that PTSD is a "mental illness," others assert that it's a reaction to trauma, so it's not an "illness" at all. Some will go as far as saying that PTS is not a "disorder," so the "D" should fall off. So I don't mean to offend, but it remains a controversial category. EMDR is thought to help those with PTS, PTSD, and CPTSD - regardless of how it's viewed. However, it may not help those with other mental symptoms. I know it didn't help me, sadly.

I felt more dissociative and triggered, overall.

I am still working on EMDR. I had a rough start at first. My therapist did not take enough time installing resources. So the first attempts at processing a memory were not successful. I ended up "trapped" with a memory that I kept reliving and was unable to process because I was unable to talk. (I become mute in triggering situations.) It sounds like Sprinkl3 might have had an issue with that too. The resources include such things as a locked box, a loving figure, a safe place etc. But now that I have the resources that we pause to review often I am able to participate in the process. My t uses "buzzers" that you hold in each hand. You feel and hear the sound. Hope this information helps.

I remember the buzzers, too! I forgot about that.

There was a memory (not EMDR) I had of not being able to speak for a few days after a traumatic event. I literally couldn't talk. The psych ward thought I was psychotic. Then they did a rape kit on me when I could speak, though I was dissociative.

The EMDR didn't work for me, but I can relate to not being able to speak.

I haven't tried EMDR. Has anyone else tried EMDR and is willing to share?

I did EMDR for a few years and it did help with processing traumatic memories. But it was really intense for me. I threw up after the first session. After that the therapist really slowed it down, and we made sure that the last 10 min. of the session were dedicated to me figuratively storing my painful memories in a secure container so I'd be safe.

One of the things she did tell me was that EMDR was contraindicated for people with diagnosed dissociative disorders as it can make the dissociation worse.

EMDR has been a game changer! It has been the most effective method I've found in helping my C-PTSD symptoms! I highly recommend it, but everyone is different!