Can they do this?

My CW said the doc that admits people to/runs the local IP facility said he will refuse to admit me ever again. She wouldn't tell me why so I don't think they have a very good reason. I've been there a lot, but not as much as some other people according to a staff member so it's not that.

Emergency departments can ban violent patients from seeking care for non-urgent problems. However, they cannot deny care if they have a life threatening condition.

I get the impression the psychiatrist wants to ban you from in-patient admissions only. The decision is probably based on your diagnosis. One of the treatment protocols for your diagnosis is to avoid hospitalization, since it can make patients worse.

Do inpatient stays help you or do they perpetuate suffering?

Being in perpetual crisis is not a healthy way to live. It's a symptom that something in your life is not working.

Are you still planning to get off all the substances? I think that will help you tremendously, especially if you have appropriate supports in place.

Inpatient stays are no longer helpful unless I need an ASAP med change like if it's a legitimate schizoaffective episode (which now that I know how to use my meds it rarely is), usually the real mental health "crisis" is over before I get stitched up/detoxed/brought to the hospital unnecessarily by first responders who are told to by whomever. I found the idea of a crisis center helpful, less extreme/intensive, more "a place to not self-destruct for a few days" rather than the full-on inpatient experience, but the one I got sent to sucked.

The thing I'm worried about is if I do end up in the ED is they'll decide I'm a danger to myself or others and because I'm not allowed at the voluntary place, they'll send me to the state hospital (a month wait in the ED for 2 days to see a doctor to say "yeah you're good to go, here's a CD saying stay on your meds, go to therapy, don't do drugs, don't get into fights").

I plan on staying off the substances, yes. Today will be 18 days clean, I only have a roof over my head if I'm off of everything (trust me, she's making sure of it, and she's not even letting me unpack), and I'm waiting to hear back from a few different sober living options out of town.

It sounds like they are worried about reinforcing certain behaviors.

You seem to have realized the negative impact your present living situation has on your recovery. Don't give up. You deserve a better life.

I hope the sober living options work out for you.