"you can't have nice things with pets or kids"

May 13, 2010 at 11:53 PM

this phrase really makes me mad because I view pets and kids as nice things instead of leather sofas and flatscreen TV's.

okay, so the title is kind of unrelated to what I wanted to post about...

Sometime my mom kind of makes me mad when I tell her that's I'd like to come to her house more often and she says "well if you didn't have a dog you could but now that you have a responsibility over pumpkin you can't do as much as you want to do anymore" I know what she's saying and she is partially right

but the thing that makes me mad is she was against me getting a dog in the first place because it limits me (I can't stay at her place because her apartment doesn't allow dogs, if I want to go to college most if not all dorms do not allow pets, and of course I need to spend money taking care of her). But... instead of focusing on what I can't do, I focus on what I can do now that she is with me.

One reason why I even wanted a dog was because I needed to go outside but was too paranoid about other people judging me that I didn't want to go out by myself. So, having a dog is nice because now I'll always have a companion if I wanted to go somewhere, sure, I can't go inside places because most places don't want your dogs inside but the point is that I can at least walk around town to those places to begin with without experiencing that paralyzing dread.

Being with her I interact with people, though most of the time the conversation is about her, or how nice the weather is

She does have her problems- she still has accidents once in awhile, she thinks it's okay to play rough and bite as a way of saying she doesn't want something or wants to play (not hard enough to break any skin), she is like a little baby that just wants to get into everything, and she has really bad manners, but thankfully it's nothing that training won't fix. I really do want to train her but I've also realized for me that I have to actually have someone there telling me and showing me these things instead of just reading about it or watching TV. (she is a little over 8 months old by the way, and we adopted her at six weeks old)

being able to successfully train her would be even better for the both of us! I keep saying "she's a good dog but once she's trained she'll be perfect" and eliminating the stressful parts like when she is behaving badly, or even just making them happen once in awhile instead of all of the time... she'd be that much more of a positive influence. Even while she's being trained... it builds confidence which I am in desperate need of and I also need actual interaction with people (according to my T at least, as well as my previous one who tell me that my isolation = very bad and exacerbates every other issue I have) which... I would certainly get more of.

I guess back to the thread title: yes, having a pet does limit me like my mom says. It's an inarguable fact. But, I think all the good things that she does and can do outweigh that. By a lot. So I'm always looking at this particular glass as half full so it's frustrating when people point out the negative.

Yoda · May 14, 2010 at 12:02 AM

I understand what you are saying. My horse is a huge responsibility but one that I gladly bear. My mom and your mom sound alike that they don't understand how important our fur kids are to our well being. My mom keeps telling me I should sell my horse and my farm because it is so much work and move into a condominium. I'm like, are you crazy? Sell my horse? Never. He is my forever horse.

Let us know how the training goes. I have been wanting to learn how to clicker train my pets but haven't started yet.

May 14, 2010 at 12:25 AM

Really, there are only 2 problems I foresee:

1.) While I want to start college by taking some classes at my local community college, the college I want to transfer to is way down in Georgia and they don't allow pets in their dorms so while I'm attending college she would have to be in either my dad or my brother's care. Which is something I can just sense the criticism of coming...

I honestly don't think my dad would mind very much. We are talking at least a year in the future, maybe two... and that's assuming I get accepted. If that's the case she should be trained enough not to cause problems. She is technically 1/2 his anyways and unlike mom who has to rent apartments, he doesn't have to worry about landlords saying he can't have a dog (his fiance has a dog too and they get along even though they both try to dominate each other... one of the things that needs fixing)

2.) When in the future she lives with me, I'll also have my 2 cats, and she likes to chase them around. And... I hate to see my cats stressed out and love them very much. Though, I think this issue will eventually work itself out on it's own since my step-sister's dog used to chase them too except not that he's a year old or so he might want to play with them once in awhile but also leaves them alone when he's told to, and sometimes he'll walk around sniffing their butts instead of running at them and being overwhelming. It probably will just take some time.

(also keep in mind this is years in the future as well and by that time it may have already worked out... or my brother takes the kitties instead of me which he has expressed some interest in even though for me that's be really sad I know he loves them too and if that's the case at least they are with a person I know would love them and take care of them.)

as for the financial aspect of things... like I said before, I don't see material items as "nice things". I can live without a cellphone (or the alternative: I can live without a home phone and just have a cell phone), I can live without cable, I can live with cheap furniture, depending on where I live I can live without a car (in fact I'd really prefer not having to learn how to drive!). What I need is not-crappy food so I can live a healthy lifestyle, be able to take care of my furry babies, a safe and healthy roof over my head, and probably the internet if only because of how integrated it has become in modern life today so I can only imagine by that time how much more so it will be.

lizardlady · May 14, 2010 at 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yoda

My mom keeps telling me I should sell my horse and my farm because it is so much work and move into a condominium. I'm like, are you crazy? Sell my horse? Never. He is my forever horse.

People tell me the same thing. I'd go nuts if I had to live in the city without my critters. I need time with my fur family to keep me sane. And I love living on my 10 acres in the middloe of nowhere.

lizardlady · May 14, 2010 at 10:51 AM

Kaika, have you considered living off campus in an appartment where you could have your animals?

May 14, 2010 at 01:15 PM

yeah, except I don't think I'd be able to afford it and I don't know anybody in Georgia (except for my aunt but I don't know where she lives)

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lizardlady Legendary Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Mid World Posts: 17,506 (SuperPoster!) 21 7,524 hugs given	May 14, 2010 at 10:51 AM #5 Kaika, have you considered living off campus in an appartment where you could have your animals?
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Anonymous29368 Guest Posts: n/a	May 14, 2010 at 01:15 PM #6 yeah, except I don't think I'd be able to afford it and I don't know anybody in Georgia (except for my aunt but I don't know where she lives)
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