[la doctora]

It has taken me awhile to write this thread. I have just been too emotional, but I think I can get through it now. I need to get it out.

I have never been superstitious before, but I am now. I hate Friday the 13th and will not get out of bed on that day from now on.

My chihuahua, Manchas, was 2 1/2 years old. I saved him from certain death when he was 5 weeks old. I always hated chihuahuas bc it was the first dog that ever bit me. And all the ones I came across were yippy yappy and badly behaved. I never thought I would love one so much.

My husband wanted to get a little dog. (We have 2 big ones) I am a big dog person and never really wanted a little dog, but I said ok bc he wanted it so badly. Since we are on the Mexico border and he needed a home, it seemed like a fit. I nursed him and we raised him and he was the best dog I ever had. He was smart, gentle, quiet, strong, and confident. We taught him not to bark or bite and he was the best little chihuahua ever. We took him everywhere and let other people and kids hold him. People were always amazed at how good he was. Even some hard core chihuahua haters had a soft spot for him. (It just goes to show that it is NOT the breed, it's how you raise the dog)

We had all these little pet names for him besides his real name (Manchas= "spots" in Spanish), Manchitos, Manchias, Chias, Cheetos... He loved the daddy lap but he loved the mommy lap more bc I would hold my legs together and let him sleep there, but daddy wouldn't hold his legs together long, lol.

He had a little, "flicky" tongue that he loved to use all over me but especially my face. I would hold him up on my chest and he would lick every square inch of my face over and over again to make sure he didn't miss any spots. He licked my closed eyelids and tried to lick up my nose and in my mouth, lol. He was grooming me, you see. I know not everyone enjoys being licked by their dog, but to me it is pure love. It is a kiss from a sould that loves you and wants to express it.

He was my little baby. I loved him so much and I thought I would have him for many years to come.

He got run over by a car just outside our driveway. It makes me sick to say it out loud or even to type it out. I still am in shock. I still don't understand how it happend and I can't really believe it yet. You have to understand. We live in a quiet neighborhood. We are the last house on a dead end street with another street turning off before our house, so no one ever drove in front of our house but us, the mailman, and the utility man. There are kids playing in the street everywhere so traffic is very slow. And almost nonexistant. The fence around the yard was there but it wasn't perfect. Even if it was he could squeeze under the closing gate or through the gap where the gate met the fence. He was so little.

We knew that he would crawl out and leave the yard sometimes, and we would always scold him for it but he would still do it every now and then. He stayed in the house most of the time but would go out with the big dogs to romp and play when they got bored inside. We would just let them out and keep doing whatever inside. In a little while we would open up the door and let them all back in again. Like I said, we have a fenced in yard, so we didn’t worry much and trusted the fence to do its job.

Hubby stayed home from work that day with a headache. He let them all out about midmorning. They were only out for 5 minutes. When he opened the door to call them, the big dogs came but Manchas didn't. He saw him after a minute lying in the street just in front of the drive way. He wasn't even in the road, just next to the curb.

He was already gone. There was nothing to be done. Hubby called me in hysterics and I managed to make it home without crashing.

I just don't understand how anyone could have been going fast enough to hit him. I don't see how they wouldn't have seen him and I don't see how they couldn't have known that they did hit him. The utility man was not there when hubby let the dogs out but was there when hubby found Manchas dead. He doesn't think the utility man did it, but has no reason for his thinking. I think it probably was him and he didn't have the decency to act like he even cared.

I know it is wrong and hurtful to myself, but I can't help it, I hate whoever did it. I hope that they can feel my hatred when they sleep at night. I hope they have nightmares about it that wake them up at night. I do not wish loss or ill on them, but if I knew who they were I would throw a rock through their window and go for one HUGE right hook to the jaw. I want them to know that they didn't just kill a dog, they killed my precious baby that I loved so much. People around here have the mentality that they are "just dogs". I don't understand how people cannot see that an animal has feelings and a soul. Hubby says I shouldn't hate them and they probably didn't even know, but I think that it is crazy and they knew. I hate them.

I feel like a terrible mother. I knew he got out of the fence and should have braved the heat long enough to watch him while he was outside. Vets know better and aren't supposed to let their animals get into a position that they could be run over. I am ashamed.

He used to go to work with me every day. I couldn't take him every day anymore bc of my supervisor, but I took him some Fridays. That morning he wanted to come with me so badly. He usually stayed on the couch while I kissed him bye on my way out to work. That morning he spun circles in the floor and begged to come with me. I left him home bc hubby would be there with him. It was the last thing I ever saw him do. I hate myself for not taking him to work with me that day.

We buried him in the backyard under the palm trees. We wrapped him in a towel with his green dog (toy) and put him in a box. We made a headstone for him out of a large white brick. I go visit him daily and tell him how much I miss him.

The big dogs miss him. He loved to play with them.
I miss him so much. It hurts so much. Sometimes I can't breathe.

He wasn't just a dog to me. He was a little soul that loved me. He was too young. He had so many good years left. It doesn't seem real that I don't get to share those years with him.

When I was little I asked my preacher if animals went to heaven. I was upset bc my first cat died. He told me no they didn't bc they don't have souls. That crushed me for many years. How could it be heaven if my beloved animals aren't there too? Then one day I realized that he has got it dead wrong. Animals are living breathing souls that reside on this earth for awhile in animal form. I will see him again when I see the rest of my passed family. I will see Manchas again.

If you made it this far, then I thank you. I know it is really long, but this is my tribute to Manchas. He deserves more than a passing glance and I want to share his story and life with people that will care and relate.
He was the best chihuahua in the world.

RIP Manchas

[lostjhawk]

Sorry for your loss, it's never easy

[Evening]

The person who told you that animals don't have souls doesn't know what they are talking about. I have worked around animals my entire life, and I have seen HUGE personality in every single one of them. Personality takes a soul.
When my rat died (I am not comparing this in ANY way to what has just happened to you, he died of old age), the night after he died, I guarantee you his little ratty soul came while I was falling asleep. I was just dozing off and I felt him climb on my bed, sit between my feet (when he was alive he always used to bite my feet) and start grooming himself. I could feel it clear as day. I turned on my stereo to light up the room a bit to look, and there was nothing. The second I moved it stopped, I didn't feel anything jump off my bed and run away, I didn't hear anything run across the floor, there was just nothing. But there had been something there.
So don't give your hopes up that your dog doesn't exist anymore, animals are worthy beings too.
I hope you find out who did it. I don't know what the laws are over there, but over here it is illegal to hit a registered animal and not stop. At least you know he had a decent life, it is true that chihuahuas have a habit of being yappy and snotty, that is the owners fault. You made a good dog out of him and took responsibility to treat him the best that you could.



XxXx

[splitz]

(((((La doctora)))))
My thoughts are with you. Manchas sounds like a great little guy and I'm sure he wouldn't be blaming you in the way that you are, he loved you.
Splitz

[Rohag]

*Hangs head in sorrow...*

((((((( Manchas ))))))) Please give my love to Soul.
((((((( La Doctora )))))))

[lynn P.]

(((la doctora)) - I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear Manchas. I understand the deep connection to a pet. It's very nice that you buried him in your back yard. Thank you for sharing how much you cared for him.

[iluuvpups]

Your post made me cry. I am soooo sorry for your loss. I have two dogs. They are my life. I don't have kids or a husband, but I have my pups. I totally understand how much you loved your Manchas. And of course he had a soul. Too many don't get that animals have thoughts and feelings, not too far off from say a toddler's. I'm sure your Manchas will always be with you in spirit. --Carol Ann

[seeker1950]

I'm sorry too.
Loving thoughts to you and your husband.
Patty

[sundog]

I am so very sorry for your loss. And for the terrible circumstances of dear Manchas' death. What a devastating shock. I am so very, very sorry. I love my dogs like children and I really understand the depth of your grief.

RIP (((((((Manchas)))))))))

[Sabrina]

((((la doctora)))) How I wish I could just hug you right now. I am a Mommy of a 5½ year old Chihuahua that I simply cannot imagine losing. She is my child, my love and my baby. She is a very huge part of my life. So your pain brought tears to my eyes. I am glad that you wrote about it and I am so very very sorry for the loss of little Manchas. I can only begin to imagine the excruciating pain you must be feeling.

Please know that this was not your fault. I understand your feeling guilt but it was an accident. Perhaps one that should never have happened but an accident nonetheless.

I wish I had more words of comfort. As a Chihuahua mommy, I am deeply empathetic towards you.

I wish you much strength in the coming days and weeks.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((la doctora))))))))

I'm so very sorry for the pain and loss you are experiencing. Animals do have souls I promise you I've seen them. And you will see Manchas again. Holding you in my thoughts,

Rhiannon

[Hoping4wellness]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I am a big dog person also. I'm new to this site, I'm still doing my intro's, but I noticed your post since I love animals, specifically dogs very much.

Originally Posted by la doctora

It has taken me awhile to write this thread. I have just been too emotional, but I think I can get through it now. I need to get it out.

I have never been superstitious before, but I am now. I hate Friday the 13th and will not get out of bed on that day from now on.

My chihuahua, Manchas, was 2 1/2 years old. I saved him from certain death when he was 5 weeks old. I always hated chihuahuas bc it was the first dog that ever bit me. And all the ones I came across were yippy yappy and badly behaved. I never thought I would love one so much.

My husband wanted to get a little dog. (We have 2 big ones) I am a big dog person and never really wanted a little dog, but I said ok bc he wanted it so badly. Since we are on the Mexico border and he needed a home, it seemed like a fit. I nursed him and we raised him and he was the best dog I ever had. He was smart, gentle, quiet, strong, and confident. We taught him not to bark or bite and he was the best little chihuahua ever. We took him everywhere and let other people and kids hold him. People were always amazed at how good he was. Even some hard core chihuahua haters had a soft spot for him. (It just goes to show that it is NOT the breed, it's how you raise the dog)

We had all these little pet names for him besides his real name (Manchas= "spots" in Spanish), Manchitos, Manchias, Chias, Cheetos... He loved the daddy lap but he loved the mommy lap more bc I would hold my legs together and let him sleep there, but daddy wouldn't hold his legs together long, lol.

He had a little, "flicky" tongue that he loved to use all over me but especially my face. I would hold him up on my chest and he would lick every square inch of my face over and over again to make sure he didn't miss any spots. He licked my closed eyelids and tried to lick up my nose and in my mouth, lol. He was grooming me, you see. I know not everyone enjoys being licked by their dog, but to me it is pure love. It is a kiss from a sould that loves you and wants to express it.

He was my little baby. I loved him so much and I thought I would have him for many years to come.

He got run over by a car just outside our driveway. It makes me sick to say it out loud or even to type it out. I still am in shock. I still don't understand how it happend and I can't really believe it yet. You have to understand. We live in a quiet neighborhood. We are the last house on a dead end street with another street turning off before our house, so no one ever drove in front of our house but us, the mailman, and the utility man. There are kids playing in the street everywhere so traffic is very slow. And almost nonexistant. The fence around the yard was there but it wasn't perfect. Even if it was he could squeeze under the closing gate or through the gap where the gate met the fence. He was so little.

We knew that he would crawl out and leave the yard sometimes, and we would always scold him for it but he would still do it every now and then. He stayed in the house most of the time but would go out with the big dogs to romp and play when they got bored inside. We would just let them out and keep doing whatever inside. In a little while we would open up the door and let them all back in again. Like I said, we have a fenced in yard, so we didn’t worry much and trusted the fence to do its job.

Hubby stayed home from work that day with a headache. He let them all out about midmorning. They were only out for 5 minutes. When he opened the door to call them, the big dogs came but Manchas didn't. He saw him after a minute lying in the street just in front of the drive way. He wasn't even in the road, just next to the curb.

He was already gone. There was nothing to be done. Hubby called me in hysterics and I managed to make it home without crashing.

I just don't understand how anyone could have been going fast enough to hit him. I don't see how they wouldn't have seen him and I don't see how they couldn't have known that they did hit him. The utility man was not there when hubby let the dogs out but was there when hubby found Manchas dead. He doesn't think the utility man did it, but has no reason for his thinking. I think it probably was him and he didn't have the decency to act like he even cared.

I know it is wrong and hurtful to myself, but I can't help it, I hate whoever did it. I hope that they can feel my hatred when they sleep at night. I hope they have nightmares about it that wake them up at night. I do not wish loss or ill on them, but if I knew who they were I would throw a rock through their window and go for one HUGE right hook to the jaw. I want them to know that they didn't just kill a dog, they killed my precious baby that I loved so much. People around here have the mentality that they are "just dogs". I don't understand how people cannot see that an animal has feelings and a soul. Hubby says I shouldn't hate them and they probably didn't even know, but I think that it is crazy and they knew. I hate them.

I feel like a terrible mother. I knew he got out of the fence and should have braved the heat long enough to watch him while he was outside. Vets know better and aren't supposed to let their animals get into a position that they could be run over. I am ashamed.

He used to go to work with me every day. I couldn't take him every day anymore bc of my supervisor, but I took him some Fridays. That morning he wanted to come with me so badly. He usually stayed on the couch while I kissed him bye on my way out to work. That morning he spun circles in the floor and begged to come with me. I left him home bc hubby would be there with him. It was the last thing I ever saw him do. I hate myself for not taking him to work with me that day.

We buried him in the backyard under the palm trees. We wrapped him in a towel with his green dog (toy) and put him in a box. We made a headstone for him out of a large white brick. I go visit him daily and tell him how much I miss him.

The big dogs miss him. He loved to play with them.
I miss him so much. It hurts so much. Sometimes I can't breathe.

He wasn't just a dog to me. He was a little soul that loved me. He was too young. He had so many good years left. It doesn't seem real that I don't get to share those years with him.

When I was little I asked my preacher if animals went to heaven. I was upset bc my first cat died. He told me no they didn't bc they don't have souls. That crushed me for many years. How could it be heaven if my beloved animals aren't there too? Then one day I realized that he has got it dead wrong. Animals are living breathing souls that reside on this earth for awhile in animal form. I will see him again when I see the rest of my passed family. I will see Manchas again.

If you made it this far, then I thank you. I know it is really long, but this is my tribute to Manchas. He deserves more than a passing glance and I want to share his story and life with people that will care and relate.
He was the best chihuahua in the world.

RIP Manchas

[la doctora]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. They mean more to me than you will ever know. It does get a little easier to breathe with each day that passes. I still cry and miss him every day, but I am begining to be able to think about him and talk about him without having a total meltdown.
And thanks for backing me up on animals having souls. I knew I wasn't the only one that could feel that way about them. I think they have pure souls. They love with a pure heart. To teach us about unconditional love. They probably deserve heaven more than humans do.
My little Manchas is chasing critters and playing with his green dog til I get there.

Really, thank you all so much for your thoughts, words, and hugs. It really means so much.

[lynn P.]

I don't know what I'll do when my Bella dies. You're right they are completely loving, devoted little beings. Rays of sunshine in our lives. It doesn't matter how bad we look, they still love us.

Last time I was at a funeral home I noticed in the gift shop, they had these nice little markers with a paw print. I'm happy you feel a little better ((la doctora)).

[LostSavant]

((((((((hugs))))))) I feel for you. I was raised with many different species and exposed to many cultures, so I am neither a speciest or a raceist....
Those who have departed our world as we know it, and those that have truely loved us, never really depart from us....they are our guardian angels that are always with us..... Even though we may feel we are alone, we are never truely alone, those guardian angels are watching over us. Take care of yourself and blessed be.

[lonegael]

(((((((((la doctora)))))))) sometimes the words just aren't there. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[la doctora]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Last time I was at a funeral home I noticed in the gift shop, they had these nice little markers with a paw print.

Thanks for that suggestion Lynn. When I was in vet school we actually had the materials to make a little clay impression of the passed animal's paw print. The clay is soft out of the package. You shape it and put the passed animal's paw imprint in it. Then we baked it and painted it with the animal's name. The owners loved it. I wished I had had the materials the other day to do it with Manchas. I think I will find where to order it and keep it on hand so I won't have to wish I had it next time. I'll post if I find out where to get it.

Originally Posted by LostSavant

((((((((hugs))))))) I feel for you. I was raised with many different species and exposed to many cultures, so I am neither a speciest or a raceist....
Those who have departed our world as we know it, and those that have truely loved us, never really depart from us....they are our guardian angels that are always with us..... Even though we may feel we are alone, we are never truely alone, those guardian angels are watching over us. Take care of yourself and blessed be.

Your post really touched me and made me feel better. Thank you.

Thank you all.

Not only do dogs and ALL animals have souls, but they have the purest of all souls. Your little one is playing on the rainbow bridge with all those that love him. Please don't blame yourself; the blame only belongs to the heartless person who hit him. I am SO sorry for the loss of your little guy.

[Indie'sOK]

I'm sorry about your loss. A even though that's probably not what you want right now. I feel the same way because my kitty died today.

[Barbara Jo]

Hi la doctora
I feel your pain.When I lost my first"baby" it was devastating.Sugar was a chihuahua she weighed 3 lbs fully grown.She was a joy to be around.It's been 10 years and I still think about her everyday.I will always love her and remember all the good times we shared together....praying for you(((hugs))))

[la doctora]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

I'm sorry about your loss. A even though that's probably not what you want right now. I feel the same way because my kitty died today.

I'm so sorry Indie. It's terrible. A from me too.

[eskielover]

(((((((La doctora)))))),

I just read your post & tears filled my eyes even knowing that it's been a little while since your loss of Manchas.

I know how it is to loose one of our babies, especially when we know there was something we could have done to prevent it. I my first eskie (Excell) to a stupid choke chain that I knew better than to use, but I was out in the yard with them, doing some yard work. I tried for over an hour to revive him, I just couldn't believe what had happened.....I had just moved across the country & didn't have any other collars for my dogs at that time......I immediately went & got the normal collars right after that before I ever let them outside again.

Forgiving myself for allowing that to happen is still something I have trouble with. Excell was my first dog & we had a huge wonderful history together of training & showing & just playing.....he was my buddy & daddy dog of many of the other eskies I have.....so many wonderful memories we hold forever that keep them alive in our hearts.

I also believe that our pets will be in heaven with us. The soul is the heart & mind, the immaterial part of living beings (man or animal). The spirit is the capacity to know, hear, & have a relationship with God. I truly believe that the creatures on earth have the capacity to know God & definitely have a relationship with God that humans can't even imagine......The Bible speaks about horses in heaven.....I know that as long as there are horses, all other animals will be there also....so I know we all will be reunited with our babies & have no doubt about that.

Leo, my "guardian eskie angel" ran out in the street the other day right in front of a car when I was walking to my neighbors field to throw the dead mouse that Leo had graciously brought back to the yard. Just as I was walking back toward my house across my field, Leo came running toward me & right into the street in front of an oncoming car that saw him & stopped in time to miss him......I scolded him so bad & immediately attached him to the 20ft leash I had tied to the front porch that I use for the dogs to keep them from running into the street. I know I would have just died myself if she had hit him.....I definitely know the horrible grieving you are going through & know you are still feeling it. People miss so much when they don't understand the unconditional love our babies give to us.....there is absolutely NOTHING like it.

Many hugs to let you know you I care & have so much sympathy to give to you.


Debbie