[healingme4me]

My Baby Girl, yes, that's her name, was living in the city, at the time I took in this little feral kitten. I didn't know what to name her, and well, most songs, hip hop songs at the time, used the expression Baby Girl, so it's sort of a city twist to where she comes from.

Well, Baby Girl, turned 12 this month. And in the past 2-3 days, her health took a steady decline. She stopped eating, she has now stopped drinking water, not for lack of trying on my end. And now she can barely walk. She's been sleeping for the past couple of days. And I have made the decision to allow her, to pass on in the comfort of her own home with myself and the children near her. To note, there is a 24 hour emergency walk in animal hospital, right up the street from me, so I know, to bring her in there, for the shot, if she is in constant crying pain.

It was strange, last week, I mentioned at work, my cat was turning 12 and my coworker said, isn't that the age they pass away? And then, this week happened.

I have the kids to consider here to, in the whole euthanasia decision. Not that it's the most terrible thing in the world, just no one on call for me to have watch them. And, then, do they fear shots, they are still young. Or do they see that ok, Baby Girl just died in her sleep, I don't know, either way, they'll need some grief discussions.

She's resting comfortably, right now. My bedding is going to need a serious washing, if not replacing, she lost control, last night/this morning.

She has taken from demanding my lap, to curling up right next to me. It's a spiritual experience, no less. I've been on pins and needles this week, when coming home from work, checking on her, to see if she was still there, breathing.

Here's a photo of her sprawled on my lap, the other night.

She's been such a part of my life, there before marriage, there through each pregnancy; actually my first pregnancy and her being 'fixed' coincided. Remember how she kneaded my back, when I started labor, my first pregnancy. When dealing with a colicky baby, she'd walk up to him, an lick his forehead. I remember crying tears and her licking them off my face.

I am going to miss her, but have such a fondness and affection for her, in my heart.

Right now, it's a matter of waiting. Praying, she'll pass soundly.

[lizardlady]

Oh Healingme4me, I have an elderly dog and an elderly cat who are fading. It's sooo hard. Ironically my cat looks alot like Baby Girl and one on my nicknames for her is "baby girl." You and your Baby will be in my thoughts.

[pegasus]

Hugs ((((( healingme4me ))))) My thoughts are with you, it's so hard to lose a friend. You've given her a great life.

[Citrine]

Oh H this is a sad post and Im thiing of u and ur little sweetheart, Baby Girl. Im wondering what has happened, so quickly. God bless her. Thats all I can say, I wish it wasnt happening. Losing a furbaby is a heartbreak.

[healingme4me]

It does seem like a fast decline, but she's been steadily growing old and less active than she once used to be.

I found, an old hospital bedliner, in my linen closet, and then I pulled out the cushioned cat bed, that she never liked to use, always preferring my bed, or the chairs in the living room.

Thought, there would be a rush, to get the kids dressed and loaded up, with her, earlier, when I went into the kitchen to cook, earlier, and heard a crying out. She'd made it, as far as my bedroom door. We all went running to her. Once, she was being comforted, she was ok again, so I brought her out to the kitchen and brought out her cat bed, so she could be out there, with all of us. Still refused water, never mind food.

It's such a tough call, when they start passing, in home. And it's more restful than anything, just end of life cycle.

I once, had her biological cat brother, who was also a feral rescue, took him in, about a year after her, or maybe a little less than a year. He'd passed at 3 years of age. Chose to euthanize him, he was in such agony, found him, in my laundry room, immobile and crying out. Vet couldn't believe he was 3, had the body of a much older cat, but alas, had him, since he was a kitten. Bring them in, get them to the vet, always needing to test for fiv, of course, but, he'd had a heart condition, upon their check on that day.

I realize, that 12 is the beginning range of the years of life expectancy. Hers could be shorter range, from being feral, is my guess.

I am at peace about her, just watching over. She brings forth, many cute memories, and will cherish having had her presence in my life.

[healingme4me]

She just passed. :'(

[Fresia]

I am so, so sorry. My thoughts are with you. Rest peacefully Baby Girl.
((((((Healingme4me & your family)))))))))

[Yoda]

(((((healingme4me))))) ((((( babygirl)))))

[lizardlady]

{*{*{*{*Healingme4me*}*}*}*}

{*{*{*{*Baby Girl*}*}*}*}

Wish I had some words to ease your pain.

[Citrine]

So sorry H. She has lived a life full of love.

[healingme4me]

I appreciate all the words of sympathy and compassion. It's never easy, losing a family pet. There is a special bond, formed.

Today, is my grandfather's birthday, I feel the date of Baby Girls passing, shows some sense of spiritual symbolism, and for that, I feel a great deal of peace.

There were some 'special moments' during these days. It wasn't an easy decision to allow this to happen, in my home, at the same time, I was working with a certain set of parameters, namely how to proceed about my children. Too young, to leave home alone for bringing her in, and most times she was peaceful and content. The internal debate, centered around last night mostly. Alas, I also feel, that in ways, my Baby Girl, showed her desire to be as close to me, as possible.

Friday night, after the kids came home from their visitation, she started this long, drawn own purring. Seemed, as though, the sounds of their voices coming home, left her with that content sound that cats make, purr. I even took my cell phone, a video'd that, just for the audio alone. Each child's voice, got a different flux of purr tone.

Last night, after the kids were asleep, and it was closer to midnight, she went to the floor and crawled under my bed. I thought, ok, here we go. After all, customarily, stories be told, they go into hiding to pass on. I thought, ok, this is what you desire, this is what shall be. Got up, went to the kitchen, and cut into the apple pie, I'd made last night, and doled myself a slice. I'm not a night eater, so this was out of character for me. While out there, I heard her cry out. I went back in, there she was out from under my bed, on the floor at the foot of my bed. I picked her up, and just held her like I would a baby.

Then felt, OK, it's about time. Her mouth opened, agape, reminded me of my mom, on her own deathbed. Thought, OK, here we go. Then closed and resting. While holding her, I grabbed for the pie, and then, I got the biggest, longest 5-10minute purr campaign. So I ate, and appreciated whatever it was that was going on, between us.

I turned off the lights, and pulled up a blanket, and slept with her, on my chest.

Was awaked, to her final moments. And then, there was peace. I curled her into her curled position, laid her in her cat bed. And this morning, allowed the children to see her, and explained, that she'd passed away, in her sleep, and that she's in a better place now.

Told the boys that let's take time, in between getting a new pet, as they, asked. But, I did say, when we do, we shall from a shelter, to honor her memory, as she was 'rescued' herself, from my own backyard, when I lived in the heart of the city.

thinking of you all.

do keep us updated

[healingme4me]

Truth can be stranger than fiction. Most amazing coincidence when I used my laptop to log into FB just a little while ago. My cousin, posted this top image, must have been shortly after I had sent this one of Baby Girl from my phone. I only edited out my name, on this. Used the snip it, function. To capture what I saw, online...