[transient]

My sister and her boyfriend have a young, probably 9 week old puppy. I don't like how I see them handling the dog. I don't have a dog myself, but I did when I was little. I think that training a dog using fear or pain is cruel.
They have a pit bull mix and I think their "training methods" are questionable and might make the dog grow up into a fearful way, which would be dangerous for this stigmatized breed.

When my sister first got him, he was 6 weeks old and talked about him as if he should understand commands and such already, not like he was a small energetic puppy. She would yell at him, loud enough for me to hear upstairs over a box fan. She's also barked at him really loudly when the puppy barks at her because he's guarding his toy or something, when she does this he growls at her. The barking my sister does at him startles me so I'm sure it startles the puppy, and her barking is an "angry" sounding bark.

He bites a lot, probably because of teething, but its become a problem now. My sisters boyfriend forces him down and ttakes his arms out from under him when the puppy doesn't listen to his "lay down" command. He also grabs his whole head, and the way he does it looks violent. When the puppy is excited and jumping around and her bf doesn't like it, he grabs the collar and holds it even if it's choking the puppy. When he does this the puppy looks really upset and growls and barks at the boyfriend.

There's more but this is what sticks out in my mind right now. I just witnessed the collar pulling done by her bf and was a little upset by it. I've brought up the issue of my sister yelling before to her but she flat out ignored me, and I've told my mom but she doesn't say anything.
Does this sound problematic to anyone else? I'm not being too sensitive in the dog's stead. I think what they're doing is wrong and it bothers me that my abusive sister has a small animal in her care and treats it in this way. How can I bring it up?

Sent using Tapatalk 2

[Silent Void]

People can be incredibly ignorant when it comes to dealing with animals. I anticipate a problem dog.

[lizardlady]

From your description what they are doing is abusive. One of these days the dog is get stressed out and bite one of them furthering the bad rep pits already have.

[DogTrainingLove]

As said, this sounds like abuse, they really shouldn't own a pet at all.

[Sabrina]

They are abusing the puppy and as usual, the breed gets the blame. It's almost always the owners. They should be reported to the authorities.

[transient]

She's over again today with the puppy and while I was outside I heard her barking at him again. She sounded like an actual dog, and one who was out to threaten another one. I told her not to do that and she said "He has to know I'm the alpha. I'm the leader".
I'm pretty sure that there are no true alphas in dog / wolf packs, and the leaders are pretty much parental figures bc they're the ones who "founded" the pack. The don't rule over hte other dogs / wolves with violence and threats.
She also lightly hit him, and even though it didn't seem to cause him pain, isn't that method of training still fear-based? I'm not exactly sure but it made me upset to see it anyway.

I left and went outside because it was making me angry. When I came back inside, I was upstairs painting a room and she goes yelling at him again because he was barking at her and wouldn't lay down to sleep. I said from upstairs "Don't yell at him" and she replied "I have to". She went at it again and I said "You know why he's barking and growling at you? Because you do the same to him."

It's only been a few days since she was over with him, and I can tell you that the biting problem has gotten worse. I agree with everyone who posted. I also think that eventually, he'll bite her or someone else, and it might not be a good outcome for him.

It just makes me so angry. I can't stand it. I almost want to cry thinking about what she's doing, because even though it's not mostly physical, it reminds me of things she's done to me. I'm actually shaking with anger right now typing this.
I don't know what to do because it's not "real abuse" meaning that there are no physical marks & there's no evidence. I don't know if I should go to anyone with this, because there would be no one in my family supporting my decision. I told my mom about this stuff and if she cares, she doesn't show it, and I know she hasn't said anything to my sister about it. I don't have any other support besides my therapist and my aunt who is states away.

I would hate to be the person who sees this going on, and then have something happen later and not have spoken up. I want to do all that I can for the puppy, but my sister is not a force to be assertive with.

Does anyone have any advice?

edit: he bit me while i was walking by him, but thankfully it was a small bite. I also found my therapists cell number and she talked me through the anxiety attack I was having because I confronted my sister and she verbally abused me. My therapist told me that if it happens again and I see it, I can call the cops or an animal humane society for more advice.
I told my mom I didn't want my sister over here any more, and my mom drove her home. If my sister is over here again with the dog and it happens again, I told my mom that I won't go to her anymore- I'd go straight to the cops. (but that scares me because what if I don't have evidence, and my sister is psychologically abusing the puppy not necessarily physically. also i don't like cops and don't know how a visit from them would pan out.)

[possum220]

Your sister and her partner need to go to puppy training school. Both to help them train the dog and train them. If you yell at a dog, it will yell back (Bark). They are going to end up with a mean dog if they don't get lessons. Even private lessons can be helpful.

Ask your sister if she means to be cruel to the dog. I hope she does get lessons before it is too late.

[Rose76]

I'm so sorry for your situation because it sounds like you and your sister live in the same home, so you can't just remove yourself from where this is going on. How awful. It's amazing that the two of you are sisters, yet have such different values.

Your sister and her boyfriend are the kind of people who really shouldn't have an animal, but there's a lot of people out there like that. It's just too bad. I doubt she is going to pay any attention to what you say. Your mother doesn't seem to have an opinion on this and isn't likely to try and influence the situation. Everyone who hasn't already learned to successfully manage a dog should go with their dog to puppy/dog classes. They don't really train the dog; they train the human on how to manage the dog. I went with my late, beloved dog and it was well worth the money. Trainers, today, don't advocate the techniques your sister is using. These abusive approaches don't bring about the desired outcome.

One likely outcome is that the dog will be insecure and mean-natured. This can make the dog a threat to you. One way around that might be for you to attempt to develop your own relationship with the dog. I recommend the use of an occasional treat from you to the dog. Also, talk to the dog. Don't permit the dog to mouth you, but handle the dog when you can in a calm and affectionate way. You may just succeed in helping the dog to become socialized, at least toward you. You might offer to take the dog on little walks (on a leash, of course.) The dog will likely love you for that. You'll role-model how to relate to a dog properly. Unfortunately, all this could lead to you getting more attached to the dog and more upset by the abuse.

If you weren't living with your sister, I would encourage you to simply not be under the same roof where this abuse is going on. My impression is that you don't have that option at the present.

I hope someday you get a dog of your own. You sound like someone who would be excellent with a dog. Right now, you are in a most unfortunate situation.