[Wheeze Poe]

I love my dog dearly but so much that I have trouble relating to him as a dog. Past insecurities and guilt cause me to project human reactions on the poor guy, which makes me obsessed and worried about whether I am doing right by him, even guilty if I have to leave him alone. BTW he doesn't seem to mind or be effected. I know it's all in my head.

[jaymoq]

I can commiserate with how you feel. Since my divorce, I had to move to the city and board my horses at a facility. They used to live on property with me. I feel guilty constantly and if I can't go see them, I feel even worse. I imagine how abandoned they must feel. I know I am projecting my own feelings of guilt and abandonment on to them.

I don't think its a bad thing to love our pets and want the best for them. When I hit a rough patch right after my divorce and adjusting to one income versus two, there were days my pets ate before me because I couldn't afford to feed both of us. Some people called me mad. But, they didn't understand I lived for my pets. They were family to me. And even if my marriage failed, I wouldn't fail them.

Its probably true our pets don't feel the things we do. They don't feel abandoned or alone. They don't feel resentment or shame. They are what they are.

I think if you're giving your dog the best life he can get, then know you're being a good pet parent. Animals heal us. If he is helping you and there for you, take solace in that. It took me awhile to figure out my horses don't resent me for not being able to see them every day. Quite honestly, the other night on the 4th of July, I went out to watch over my horses because I thought they might get scared. And, all they cared about was whether I brought them carrots. My horses love me even if I go days without seeing them. They still know who I am. They still get the basic living requirements they need.

If anything, I might suggest finding a friend for your dog if you're afraid he is lonely while you're out of the house. I had a single house cat for some time and just recently got a friend for him because I was worried he was lonely all day without me. He seems happier. But, cats are a lot more independent than dogs!!

Hang in there. You're a good pet parent! People don't understand how much I love my animals. I own 5 horses on ONE income and people honestly look at me like I'm insane. And maybe I am. But they make me HAPPY. Loving them like they are family is what makes ME happy. And they're happy. So, I could care less what anyone else thinks.

[marmaduke]

Originally Posted by Wheeze Poe

I love my dog dearly but so much that I have trouble relating to him as a dog. Past insecurities and guilt cause me to project human reactions on the poor guy, which makes me obsessed and worried about whether I am doing right by him, even guilty if I have to leave him alone. BTW he doesn't seem to mind or be effected. I know it's all in my head.

I sure your a great owner and your dog is perfectly happy.
As for projecting 'human' reactions on a dog, dogs do feel in a similar way to us.

Charles Darwin, in his 1872 book The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals argued that emotions are conserved across species, including dogs, goats, and humans. That animals of different species induce oxytocin release in each other suggests that they, like us, may be capable of love. It is quite possible that Fido and Boots may feel the same way about you as you do about them. You can even call it love.

Dogs (and Cats) Can Love - The Atlantic

To me all animals are equal, humans are grandiose to think differenly. I have no doubt animal feel as we do.

[Wheeze Poe]

Thanks so much for you kind support. It is comforting and helpful. Someone once pointed out that while we can imaging what it's like to be a dog, we can't what it is like for a dog to be a dog. I love my dog a lot, but it is hard for me not to love him as if he were human. Even worse, I dump my guilt as a bad father onto the dog which doesn't really help either of us. I guess the trick is to stay in the now and not project old stuff on the present. But it is hard with so many years of shame and self-blame.

We have a cat as well. He and the dog chase each other around and, although the both seem to like it, it makes a mess of the house. We dump all the responsibility on the dog because blaming cats is a complete waste of time. Like they say, dogs have owners, cats have staff!

Thanks,

Wheeze Poe

Originally Posted by jaymoq

I can commiserate with how you feel. Since my divorce, I had to move to the city and board my horses at a facility. They used to live on property with me. I feel guilty constantly and if I can't go see them, I feel even worse. I imagine how abandoned they must feel. I know I am projecting my own feelings of guilt and abandonment on to them.

I don't think its a bad thing to love our pets and want the best for them. When I hit a rough patch right after my divorce and adjusting to one income versus two, there were days my pets ate before me because I couldn't afford to feed both of us. Some people called me mad. But, they didn't understand I lived for my pets. They were family to me. And even if my marriage failed, I wouldn't fail them.

Its probably true our pets don't feel the things we do. They don't feel abandoned or alone. They don't feel resentment or shame. They are what they are.

I think if you're giving your dog the best life he can get, then know you're being a good pet parent. Animals heal us. If he is helping you and there for you, take solace in that. It took me awhile to figure out my horses don't resent me for not being able to see them every day. Quite honestly, the other night on the 4th of July, I went out to watch over my horses because I thought they might get scared. And, all they cared about was whether I brought them carrots. My horses love me even if I go days without seeing them. They still know who I am. They still get the basic living requirements they need.

If anything, I might suggest finding a friend for your dog if you're afraid he is lonely while you're out of the house. I had a single house cat for some time and just recently got a friend for him because I was worried he was lonely all day without me. He seems happier. But, cats are a lot more independent than dogs!!

Hang in there. You're a good pet parent! People don't understand how much I love my animals. I own 5 horses on ONE income and people honestly look at me like I'm insane. And maybe I am. But they make me HAPPY. Loving them like they are family is what makes ME happy. And they're happy. So, I could care less what anyone else thinks.

[Marla500]

That was a really interesting article!!

[Sabrina]

Hmm. I love my little Amy so much that it hurts sometimes. She is 10 years old now and it bothers the hell out of me that at best, I've only got another 5 years left with her.

[jaymoq]

Originally Posted by Sabrina

Hmm. I love my little Amy so much that it hurts sometimes. She is 10 years old now and it bothers the hell out of me that at best, I've only got another 5 years left with her.

Sabrina, I can relate to this. I have a cat that has been with me through some absolutely AWFUL periods of time and relationships. He is only 6 years old right now but I am already anxious about the fact that I will have to say goodbye to him.

We meet these animals that change our lives. I look at the fact that I am providing them the best life possible. My animals want for nothing (albeit maybe more of MY time, but someone's gotta make the money!) and I know that they are being cared for. When the time comes, I will know that they are passing having lived a good life. Sometimes we only get a minute in time with these animals, but if we make those days count and we foster a good relationship, that is the best we can ask for. And, I hope against all hope that someday, somehow I will see them again.

[Gavinandnikki]

If there is a heaven, and if I get to go there, all of my dogs, past and present will be there. To run, play, fetch and love with me.

I love my dogs to the core of my soul. I completely get what you're saying. Sounds like you're a very good parent!