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Veteran Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: LA
Posts: 521
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#1
So in considering to get another pet... I came to a conclusion about not wanting to get one... none have ever loved me.
My first cat wasn't particularly mine... but he absolutely hated me. He would hiss at me all the time. He LOVED my dad. Slept with my dad... went to bed with my dad. I assumed it was just a weird thing. She was a gray tabby. She never came to visit me. But at the time I was living in a crowded house so I figured maybe she just wanted to go where it wasn't crowded. My first dog was a german shepard. Now he wasn't my dog but I took care of him all the time. He didn't really love me. He seemed to really love my brother who could play rough with him. My second cat was mine and mine alone. I picked him out etc. He was a black and white cat and I have always felt they are a little strange. He probably liked me more than most. My mom told me every night around 4:30 (and I would get home from work at 5:30) he would head to my bedroom (which was beside the driveway) to wait for me. But still... he never slept with me and wasn't at all affectionate. But I spent most of my life with him. Getting him my first year of grad school where I was home all the time. My third and final cat ... right from the start I was his roommate. Another black and white cat. He didn't ever want to be on my lap. Never wanted to sleep with me...never would come over to my face if I was crying.... Honestly I felt like he was a burden. Nothing was ever easy with him and I didn't get much for it. My guess was I was working full time and I only had about a week with him before I had to go to work full time every day. Are there some cats that are just generally more affectionate and I am just picking poor breeds? All of the cats were gotten when they were kittens and were from shelters. I thought maybe it was because I live alone but my first cat was with my family and it was a busy cramped house. Is there anything I can do -- should I wait until I have a long time at home? Should I get an older pet? Are there certain breeds likely to be friendly and affectionate? |
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Anonymous32448, downandlonely, unaluna
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Legendary
Member Since Nov 2002
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#2
Natalie, individual cats are as different as individual people. Some are lovers and snuggles. Others not so much.
I've always believed that pets pick us, not the other way around. My suggestion would be to wait until you are ready for another cat. It's okay if you never get to that point. If/when you are ready go to the shelter and just hang out with the cats. If the one that is meant to be with you is there it will approach you. It might take more than one visit. Just hang out and wait. Please understand that cats have their own individual styles of showing affection. I have six who show affection in very different ways. I hand raised Mikey. He thinks I'm his mom. If he wants to snuggle he does not care if someone else is in my lap. He lays on top of them. Ollie, on the other hand, will come to me, rub his head on me, gets some scritches and be gone. |
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downandlonely, unaluna
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#3
Didn’t you just put your poor cat down for being a burden to you? And for throwing up. Cat are notorious at throwing up. I’d not suggest you get another cat.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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downandlonely
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LiteraryLark
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#4
Please don't get another animal. Accepting a new animal in your life takes compassion and selflessness, and you are not there yet.
"And then, I know you might think this is selfish but I am unable to really concentrate on me with this going on and I need to concentrate on me and my health. It is taking up almost every waking moment and a lot of my money." That's taking care of an animal in a nutshell. Or a human child. They have accidents and they get sick and they WILL take up all your time and energy and money even with good behavior. |
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downandlonely, Nammu
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Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#5
Well to all fairness previous cat was 16. He was elderly and sick and Natalie did try all kind of things with him to make it better. She took good care of him for many years. It’s hardly being neglectful. It was more than just put a cat down for throwing up
But having said that I just don’t think you need to take another pet. You have to be realistic. You don’t seem to particularly get along with them or truly enjoy them and they seem a burden. And there is no crime in feeling like that. We need to know ourselves. I know that I don’t want pets. Have zero desire. I don’t believe it makes me bad person but I don’t want to make arrangements when I travel which is quite a bit or worry about them when I am at work etc I just don’t want that. I don’t want to have additional responsibilities. Don’t need stress in my life. I think you want to examine why you want a pet. Especially so soon after the last one died |
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NatalieJastrow
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NatalieJastrow, unaluna
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Member Since Aug 2020
Location: LA
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#6
My cat's throwing up was not the normal nothing to worry about kind. He was very ill and miserable. The vet thought he had stomach lymphoma. He lived for 16 years with Asthma that I took care of. The only way to know for sure if he had lymphoma was to do a bipopsy.
Last edited by FooZe; Sep 06, 2022 at 01:20 PM.. Reason: Administrative edit to bring within guidelines |
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Anonymous32448, downandlonely, rechu, Victoria'smom
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Member Since Feb 2018
Location: Kansas
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#7
I've had decent luck with tabbies. I have 3 at the moment. However, while all 3 are sweet and playful and affectionate, only one truly makes me feel loved. And it took her several months to stop being shy and show her affectionate side... The most recent one I got was advertised as liking people and cats. She does indeed like both, but she's very independent and usually off doing her own thing...
I would definitely get a cat that's at least 9 months old, so that you can have a sense of its personality... But it's still a matter of luck... Maybe you could foster cats until you find one that suits you? |
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#8
All cats are different, My Tigger is all over every human like a rash trying to be friends with them, often even before she knows who they are - ask for fuss first, smell them afterwards kind of girl
Willow? She doesn't particularly like men, she hates children and has been known to show agreession to children (its why she went into rescue) My Ebony (who is waiting for me at rainbow bridge) was cautious, she would stay back to smell from a distance first then think about whether she thought the human was friendly or was going to hurt her (she did have some ptsd, among other problems) Just some examples My advice if you get another cat, is go for a adult one and let the cat choose you, thats the best way to get a cat that likes you |
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#9
One breed I do know are absolute lovebugs are ragdolls, I knew one for a very short time when i volunteered in rescue and he got snapped up within days, he just wanted to love on the humans
Reason he was in rescue was the family got him, but the child in the family proved to be seriously allergic (as in, had to spend time in hospital type of allergic, not "sneezed twice, I'm allergic" ) |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: LA
Posts: 521
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#10
It is hard to get a ragdoll (snapped up quick) but that is something I am considering.
I am also considering a ginger tabby as those I have met seem to be gregarious and outgoing. I asked about fostering but (and maybe I am asking the wrong place) my local shelter doesn't foster unless it is kittens or have special needs and I work so I can't necessarily do that. I am giving it at least a year before I get a new pet so I am in the planning stages. Hoping to execute next year. |
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Anonymous32448, unaluna
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