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Legendary
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Mid World
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Jan 10, 2023 at 12:13 PM
#1
Lately I've heard lots of stories about spouses or SOs telling their partner they have to rehome their pet. WTF!?!?!? This would be a major deal breaker for me. Most likely my response would be "Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out."
I don't understand how two people can be together long enough to want to move in together/ get married and not understand how important the pet is to the other person. If you were dating a single parent would you tell them they had to get rid of their kid(s) before you could marry? What do the rest of you think? |
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 CANDC, Pinny, SlumberKitty, SybilMarie, Travelinglady
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Jan 10, 2023 at 12:33 PM
#2
@lizardlady I do not think ultimatums are a sign of a healthy relationship. It seems like those kind of things are the death throes of the way the relationship was before. Making someone choose is an example of black and white thinking: you are either with me or against me. It never turns out good.
I hope I do not face those kind of choices. There are no winners in serving ultimatums. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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lizardlady, Pinny
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Legendary
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Jan 10, 2023 at 04:39 PM
#3
Excellent point Candc! First an ultimatum to get rid of the pet. What would the next ultimatum be?
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Jan 10, 2023 at 05:29 PM
#4
If a guy I was dating gave me an ultimatum about a pet or anything else, I'd break up with him immediately. No guy I date (no friend or family for that matter) gets to dictate my choices to me. I would never rehome a pet if someone told me to. I would rehome that person, actually and cut them out of my life.
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
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Jan 10, 2023 at 07:27 PM
#5
And often the story ends with the ultimatum giver turning out to be a Liar Lyington.
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lizardlady, SybilMarie
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Jan 14, 2023 at 02:37 AM
#6
I think I would reject someone who wouldn't want my pets. To me it shows a mean spirit.
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Jan 14, 2023 at 04:00 AM
#7
I think if someone doesn’t want or for whatever reason cannot have pets (allergy) it’s wise to not date anyone with pets. It’s like if one doesn’t want kids around, they shouldn’t date anyone with kids. Common sense. Don’t demand people give something up to accommodate you.
I think it is the same with all situations, not just demanding people get rid of pets. Don’t date people you want to change. Find people who fit your life style and meet your criteria of a partner. Don’t start dating people if you want to change them and their life style. It’ll never work and it’s unfair to all parties involved |
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lizardlady, rechu, Travelinglady
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Jan 31, 2023 at 07:00 AM
#8
I think the only exception to the "its me or the cat/dog/goldfish/whatever"
is if both people have pets and the pets hate each other and try and kill each other upon sight, the ultimatum being "do we keep X pet or Y pet" its not really a "its me or the pet" though maybe idk If I ever got a partner and they already had kids or another cat, for example, it would be a very hard choice, cause my Willow would never cope with there being a kid in the house, and strange cats she will go for (yes I have seen her literally attack other cats, apart from Tigger), she's okay with adult humans though, but yeah Willow's previous owner had to make the choice between "newborn baby or Willow" and had to rehome Willow cause most people put their kids safety above keeping a pet. edit: In WIllow's situation, Willow was there first, owner decided to have a baby and then found out that Willow will never be child-friendly - after the baby was born Last edited by Anonymous32448; Jan 31, 2023 at 07:14 AM.. |
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Jan 31, 2023 at 09:00 AM
#9
It's always the pet that wins. Should be, anyways.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
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*Beth*, lizardlady, SybilMarie, Travelinglady
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Mar 21, 2023 at 02:11 AM
#10
My furbabies would win everytime !!!
I honestly think if someone intentionally hurt one of them I'd end up with a criminal record 🥊 __________________ 
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| Anonymous32448
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Mar 21, 2023 at 04:05 AM
#11
Another example is even if someone has a fear of a particular type of animal, there can be ways round it that doesnt involve rehoming - snakes for example, or small animals you can keep in one room away from the person with the fear
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Legendary
Member Since Nov 2002
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Mar 21, 2023 at 08:28 AM
#12
A heartwarming story from the opposite perspective
How A Cat Revealed The Kind Of Man My Husband Really Was | YourTango |
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| Anonymous32448
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Nammu
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Mar 21, 2023 at 08:40 AM
#13
If i met someone who had a snake my only request would be keep the snake away from me
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Legendary
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Mar 21, 2023 at 12:37 PM
#14
Willow, my mother had such a fear of snakes just hearing the word would give her nightmares. After I moved out of the house I had a couple of pet snakes. I would cover their tank when she came to visit. We never discussed what was under the cover.
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Magnate
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Mar 21, 2023 at 01:26 PM
#15
I wouldn't have had my husband move in with me if he couldn't accept me pets. He even dealt with a cat that didn't much like him at first and peed on a jacket of his. Over time, their relations improved. A few months later, he brought home a dog that was abandoned at his work. That was Jade who passed last year.
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Mar 21, 2023 at 02:32 PM
#16
Quote:
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| lizardlady
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Mar 21, 2023 at 06:13 PM
#17
I am too much of an animal lover and people who don’t like animals are not a good match for me.
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| Pinny
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Mar 21, 2023 at 06:40 PM
#18
Quote:
I'd never hurt a snake - I'd get away from it instead of hurting it |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Mar 22, 2023 at 01:54 AM
#19
No, lots of people fear snakes. I don’t see it as the same thing.
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| Pinny
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Mar 22, 2023 at 04:38 AM
#20
The boa constriction at college when I was doing animal care is why I got a fear of snakes - that thing loved biting students cause it was a bad tempered thing
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