[MidnightLetter]

So, today I was hanging out with my friend and her new boyfriend. They are both REALLY REALLY sweet and nice people. And we were showing each other old photos. And, I showed them this picture of me that I LOVED from awhile ago.

Her boyfriend: Woah what happened... You used to be skin----
Me: ............................What?
Him: No no I'm sorry.
Me: You saying I'm fat?
Him: No look, if your fat then what am I? I'm overweight. I'm just saying... is that photo from a few years ago?
Me: Not really... I just hide my fatness really well in photos... And I actually lost 15 pounds since the last two months...
Him: Oh wow! thats great!
Me: Now I feel so fat..................

And now I want to binge. Or purge. Or SOMETHING! I worked REALLY hard losing those 15 pounds. I have been overeating my whole life. But I was always thin somehow. Then the past 2 years I gained 50 pounds and received fat comments from SO SO SO many people. Friends, Family, Strangers. FINALLY, I got the determination to go on a healthy diet. I mean, its not perfect. Sometimes I accidently skip meals. Sometimes I eat more then I should. But overall, my eating patterns HAVE improved. Then he goes and pretty much says I'm fat. I get it. I'm not skinny like I used to be. And he didn't mean to be rude. It just came out 'cuz he was really surprised that I looked so different. Plus, he has no idea I've been struggling with my weight issues. But now I HATE my body. And I kinda want to cry.

[mazing]

15 pounds is amazing! Don't ever underestimate what you have done. He should never have said what he did but I don't think he meant harm. It was very rude though.

Hang in there - you can do this. Keep trying. 15 pounds is amazing and you can keep doing this healthily. Most people do not understand but you are doing so well.