[ahdm]

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I thought I'd start off here.

I've been suffering with BED for a good part of 6-7 years. It all started when I began high school at 11. There was a sweet shop on my way to school, so I used to stop there either in the morning or after school and buy £1 of sweets. Then it increased to crisps and chocolate bars. I went in there every single day, ate it all in secret in my room at home, and then went downstairs for dinner. It continued like that for a long, long time. Then I stopped buying things from that shop, and started buying things from a corner shop 2 minutes walk away from me. I would mainly buy crisps and chocolate. Then I would go home in my room and sit and eat them whilst watching DVDs. I still eat like that now, but instead of DVDs, I read books. It is so embarrassing and shameful. But finally, I got it out.

I had a session with my T yesterday, and I wrote down all of it. How I felt, what I did, etc. So now, finally, after 6-7 years of suffering with this in silence, thinking I'd just end up morbidly obese, I've reached out and taken the first step in getting the help I need.

I hope this can give some of you out there a bit a hope that you are not alone in this, and there are always people that can help you and want to help you.

Stay strong! <3

[cryingoutloud1]

good for you for trusting your therapist enough to tell her this information.

[waggiedog]

Oh dear dear ahdm, how I've longed to read on PC exactly what you've written above! You are soooooooooo right when you say that an eating disorder, any eating disorder, embarrassing and SHAMFULL. I have always felt those things because I come from a family of compulsive eaters and I was(can be) compulsive again. When we were young and hurt ourselves my dear Mum would give us chocolate and say ''that will make everything better'', that was the way it was, so not surprising making ''everything alright'' extended into teenage/adulthood. I was a fat kid, other kids never let me forget that. So, when I left school I decided to go on my first ''diet'', needless to say I was so good at it I became anorexic and in the Psych Hospital!! Over the last 33 years I've had every ED known to man(and women) and guess what ............................. yep I STILL have an ED. What therapy are you having, excuse me for asking. I've done DBT. Hope to chat again in the future. HUGS. XXXXXXXXXXXX

[ahdm]

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Oh dear dear ahdm, how I've longed to read on PC exactly what you've written above! You are soooooooooo right when you say that an eating disorder, any eating disorder, embarrassing and SHAMFULL. I have always felt those things because I come from a family of compulsive eaters and I was(can be) compulsive again. When we were young and hurt ourselves my dear Mum would give us chocolate and say ''that will make everything better'', that was the way it was, so not surprising making ''everything alright'' extended into teenage/adulthood. I was a fat kid, other kids never let me forget that. So, when I left school I decided to go on my first ''diet'', needless to say I was so good at it I became anorexic and in the Psych Hospital!! Over the last 33 years I've had every ED known to man(and women) and guess what ............................. yep I STILL have an ED. What therapy are you having, excuse me for asking. I've done DBT. Hope to chat again in the future. HUGS. XXXXXXXXXXXX

Thank you so much for your reply waggiedog! I'm so glad that you can relate to what I've posted! I'd longed to read something like that on this forum for months. I finally got fed up and decided if I wanted to see it, I needed to make it happen myself. And I figured if I wanted to see it, other people would too

My mum would also do things like that; even more so, she would reward us with junk food such a cookies and chocolate and crisps if we behaved ourselves. Sometimes she just gave us them so we would shut up

I'm so sorry that you were bullied about your weight - nobody deserves that. I think a lot of people don't understand the reason why some people are a bigger size. I think that the reason is because we feel we lose control, and the only way we will be happy is if we eat to comfort ourselves. It is the loss of control and the feeling of shame that dominates this ED.

I'm sorry that you became anorexic, I really am. It must have been horrible. And I'm sorry you are still dealing with an ED (or maybe more than one?).

Um I'm not really sure what therapy I'm having at the moment. My T hasn't told me anything about the type of therapy she's used so far, or the type of therapy she might use in the future. It's not CBT. I think it's just mainly 'talk therapy' in general - that's what she calls it anyway. I'll try to find out for you, if I can be bold enough to ask her

I hope you're doing well, and thanks for the profile post! Big hugs x