[DislikesUserNames]

I'm not sure if this would be triggering to anyone, because I don't really know what that consists of- but I thought I'd err on the side of caution until someone can explain that to me.

I don't seem to fit the binge eating as a disorder thing completely. I eat past the point of fullness on a regular basis, and have occasionally hidden how much I was eating from my family. However, I don't eat because I feel emotional or bad in some way, I just really like to eat, and I just really like to eat a lot. I love sweets. I don't feel guilty after overeating, I'm either irritated that I'm too full to eat more, irritated that the food was not tasty enough to make me satisfied, or irritated that I can't just eat the amount of food I want without gaining weight. If it's not one of those, I'm just uncomfortably full.

The only thing that ever makes me feel good about it is enjoying the tastiness of the food and that I (usually) have gotten to stuff myself as much as I wanted, and that feels very freeing. Like I'm not worrying about someone's judgement of my eating, not worrying about the weight, just enjoying the yummy tastes. Just being honest, eating lots of tasty things is a lot of fun. I only have hidden the amount I've eaten is because of the judgement I'll encounter.

My husband doesn't understand how I could have an overeating problem, because I am only a little overweight. The thing is, I either eat nothing but low fat diet foods or then I'll do low-carb diets to keep my weight down. It's funny that he doesn't think it could be a problem, because he has definitely tried to limit my sweets intake and slightly shamed me when I eat too much.

So, I'm trying to find out how I can stop myself from continuing to eat, even when I know I don't want to gain weight. One of the biggest problems is that when I eat a normal amount, I feel so DEPRIVED. Ravenous. Like I'm going to suffer all day/night because I didn't get to have what I really wanted, and I'll just be craving it until I get it. Like it's unfair that I can't have a gallon of ice cream if that's what I really want, or that it's unfair that I want more tasty things so intensely. Then I'm angry about that, and have even eaten what and how much I wanted, out of defiance.

Something that makes me unsure that I'm in the right place besides not fitting the standard "profile", is that I also pick my skin. However, that's obviously emotionally related, because I start doing it when I worry or I'm nervous. It relates because I can't stop.

I know my writing style can be a bit blunt and brusque at times, and I hope that doesn't detract anyone from speaking with me. I always try to be as nice as possible, though. I've tried coming across with a different tone, but I've finally decided that this is just who I am and how I talk, and to hope for the best. Maybe understanding that about me will prevent any unpleasant feelings.

Thanks for listening. If anyone has anything to say or some advice I'd love to hear it.

[Standup2me]

There are some schools of thought that say you are searching for another form of physical comfort, and can't or won't find it, for whatever the reason may be. Mouth comfort brings us back to our bottle being our comfort
However (!!), a therapist is really the one to talk to.

The skin picking thing - I totally relate to that - I do it to my cuticles

[scootergirl]

I used to feel the same way about eating - I love food and want to eat whatever I want in whatever quantities I want. And I've been doing that for years, mostly in secret. I don't believe I'm doing it for emotional reasons. I think I'm doing it to fulfill other needs/wants that are not being met, and I've become programmed to that behavior. But I have finally accepted the fact that it is not normal to overeat so much. I'm aware that most other people don't binge eat, and that just re-affirms to me that it is not normal or healthy to overeat excessively, any more than it is to drink alcohol excessively, or have sex excessively, for example. Doing something to the extreme that is unhealthy and physically and mentally harmful is not OK. I'm currently seeking therapy for the first time. I encourage you to look hard at your behavior and admit to yourself that it is not OK and needs to change. That's the first step in making the change. Good luck to you :-)

[Just keep swimming]

I've had and still have the same thoughts. I remember when I was younger my mother trying to comvince me that all the normal sized people also loved food but had self control and didnt overeat. Even though I was probably about ten years old I knew I was different. I knew how I ate and loved food was way different than how other's ate. Now I know my challenging relationship with food is something I have to accept and learn to deal with, but I still don't think it's fair. Not fair at all. Harrumph.

[LifeGetsBetter]

I think it's all about having an addictive personality. I can get addicted to anything that makes me feel better or provides comfort. Food does that.

[beeutterfly]

Have you had your thyroid checked?