[nakitakunai]

I really just can't stop binging, no matter how many times it happens or how many times I tell myself I won't do it again, it's been happening almost daily now... I don't know what to do. I just can't control it. I've tried all the little tricks like "use myfitnesspal!" "drink lots of water!" "wait 20 minutes!" "stay out of the kitchen after _:00" "brush your teeth after every meal" but nope, none of them did sh** for me. I'm like a ravenous, fatass monster that can't be stopped. Nearly every night I binge, then I tell myself it's the last time I will never do that to myself or to my body again, tomorrow is a new day and a new me, then I do really well and eat reasonable portions for breakfast and lunch but by dinner I'm lonely and I'm bored and I know exactly how much food there is in the cabinet and I am going to eat it all. And there I am screwing myself over, all over again. I'm at my wit's end and I just don't know what to do...

[Calypso2632]

I do the same thing. Tonight I made a pot of rice because the cupboards are getting bare and I needed food. I keep saying I'll do great and have an awesome day but come evening/night its like I'm starving. Even if I've had plenty during the day. And I over eat anything. Rice. Cucumbers. Fruit. You name it. I feel the same like I'm at my wits end as well.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Last night I downed a box of macaroni and cheese, some bagged pasta meal thing, and an orange. In a few hours. All despite being sick and not even hungry. I just wanted to eat.

Next month my food budget is going to be slashed; if I ate like a normal person, my fully-stocked fridge could last me a week or two. It won't, I'm sure. Today I decided bto have a last stand, buying some cookies and snack caka - they're half gone. Haven't been hungry at all.

It's compulsive, really, the act of buying food and the act of eating. I don't know why, but it leaves me feeling so disgusted.

Hugs and commiseration.

[Angelique67]

I've been binging on junk food. I must stop!

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I've been binging on junk food. I must stop!

Same here. It's all I've eaten all day despite being sick, and I'm spending down a balance I didn't want to spend. The lack of control, the compulsiveness of it is actually a little frightening.

[Sorry to post again]

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

Same here. It's all I've eaten all day despite being sick, and I'm spending down a balance I didn't want to spend. The lack of control, the compulsiveness of it is actually a little frightening.

[Sorry to post again]

Yes. It is scary that I don't have more self control. I know I'm eating out of boredom and to provide myself comfort but it's terrible for my health.

I really identify, and thanks, nakitikunai for starting this thread. I know I'm eating to stuff my feelings and for comfort and because eating feels good. I know I need to stop, I'm overweight to a point that it's hurting my knees and hips and I have so much less energy carrying this weight around. I think by continuing to overeat or eat foods that I know make me feel yucky, I'm preventing some personal growth. I feel like I'm letting myself down, by now riding out the uncomfortable feelings and eating crap instead -but man, food is just so effective and numbing or bringing momentary pleasure. I find something sweet even helps soothe my anxiety and helps me sleep at night.

I have purchased a few books this past year on compulsive/emotional eating. But I can't seem to get past the first chapter in any of them. I've dealt with this before, and I thought I had this issue licked, but I guess not. I'm still the person who eats when life gets tough.

[Calypso2632]

I've been noticing I feel rotten lately. I need to get on board with healthy choices even if I over eat them cause my body feels sick. I bought a veggie platter tonight and some fresh fruit cups and some individual fruit cups. I figure the fruit will be my sweets anyways. It seems to do the trick. And I love it. Fresh raw veggies trump ramen noodles... (The platter was on clearance. So worth it!). So I kinda feel like I'm ahead for a couple of days. I also wish I didn't eat my emotions. But I don't know a healthy way to stop this process.

Thank you for starting this thread. I totally identify, especially with the "just use myfitnesspal!" thing. I lost about 45lbs with myfitnesspal a few years ago, but I think most of that was due to the meds I was on at the time, and not so much the fact that I had much willpower and control over my eating habits. In fact, the meds were making it so I couldn't eat--I felt constantly nervous, had that "butterfly" feeling in my stomach all the time and there was just no pleasure from anything (anhedonia), let alone eating. It was actually hell...but I was 50-60 lbs lighter than I am right now. I keep telling myself that I'd rather be fat and enjoy life without feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin constantly than thinner and unable to enjoy even reading a book. But some days, that just isn't true.

I feel just horribly about the way I look. People tell me that I'm a beautiful woman. I know I used to be, but that I'm not at this time. I'm not even that beautiful on the inside, tbh. I know that I should probably be going to therapy for all of this, but at this time I'm still on govt insurance (I just graduated from college and was working to few hours at my job to qualify for theirs). I don't want to get established with a T now that I may have to change once I have new insurance in 6 mos or so.

[wotchermuggle]

I am a terrible binge eater as well. I don't eat anything until supper time. I can eat a healthy dinner but then it's like a monster comes over me. I have to have snacks and junk food when I go to bed. If I don't, I'm panicking. I think it's because all the negative emotional stuff gets the most riled up at bedtime and so I eat to ease that.

Understanding that doesn't make it any easier though