[milly97]

I'm 18 and apparently I'm a model. I used to follow a pretty strict low-carb diet and after losing a lot of weight I got offered a modelling contract and moved states to work as a model. But I didn't get any work and don't think my agency is very good.
I got extremely underweight but when I started anxiety meds for GAD my restricting diet stopped. I didn't have the energy to follow the same diet. I always binged and ate huge portions but of meat and veges mostly. If I binged on nuts I would work it off in the gym the next day and my weight was stable. But when I took the new meds I was so slow and foggy I didn't have the energy to keep up the routine and my usual binges started including junk food and take away meals I never would have touched.
I would also start going to the food court at uni and secretly going to the big bins and in plain sight I'd take containers out of meals people hadn't finished like chinese takeaway or burgers and chips. I'm a poor student so the free food seemed great but it got worse and worse. Don't know if even legal! If it was available to me, I'd eat it even if it meant eating 6 or 7 whole meals of take away. I wouldn't ever justify actually buying a meal cause it's expensive and unhealthy. I'd buy healthy groceries but eat everything in one day and steal junk food from my housemates.
Therapy never helped. I think I'm smarter than the level my therapist could deal with which sounds vain but maybe true. I'd heard all the advice before. But I'm not in a place where I feel like being mindful and changing (probably from the meds which I need to sleep) and I've gained more than all the weight I lost originally.
I can't work as a model because I'm not thin enough and my agency makes me feel awful, but i'm on a three year contract so I just go to castings and don't get picked for jobs.

Keen to hear if anyone has had to deal with the fashion industry, or has dived into a public bin for food, or stolen from housemates, or hasn't benefitted from expensive therapy.

Thanks

[Skeezyks]

Hello milly97: No, the Skeezyks has not had these experiences. But I saw that this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Nimportequoi]

Hello milly
It seems like your struggles go far beyond just binging. You seem to have undertaken strong changes in your psychic makeup from anorexia to BED. I think with people like you there's a double struggle because there is phases where eating gets out of control and then there's phases when they try to "eat healthy" but actually "throw out the baby with the bathwater". Both problems have to be addressed in therapy and be taken seriously as problems on their own (not just the binging!).
Of course eating sectretly and keeping binges in secret is a big part of BED. I'm very good at hiding from people the huge amounts of food I eat . When I was around thirteen, my mother would drag me to the physician to check my thyroid because she insisted it was impossible I was overweight, though I was eating "that less".