[indigo1015]

I've been on PC for a long time, but I wasn't aware of a forum for eating disorders on here until today. I've had eating disorders on and off since I was 10 years old. It started with anorexia, and segwayed into bulimia, binge eating, more anorexia and bulimia, exercise addiction,diet pills, binge eating again, and nighttime eating. I've been able to kick most of them, except for nighttime eating. My nighttime eating started in 2014, ironically when I was anorexic for the second time. I haven't been able to stop doing it. It doesn't matter how much or how little I eat during the day, I will eat at night regardless. I'll wake up several times during the night and go to the kitchen and eat. Sometimes I remember doing it, other times I see the evidence on the counter in the morning and have no memory of it. I've tried everything I can think of-- not buying food, duct taping my fridge and cupboards shut, locking my bedroom door, even not letting myself go to sleep; that last one worked, but I can't deprive myself of sleep every night. I feel like a total failure. I am disgusted with myself and what I do. It's horrible. Anyone else have any experience with nighttime eating?

[Yaowen]

Dear indigo1015,

So very sorry you are struggling against this nighttime eating. I had the same trouble when I was in Russia. Since I was living in a hotel, I taped shut the cabinets and mini-fridge and didn't have much food in the room. It was was distressing for me. My heart goes out to you.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[indigo1015]

Thank you Yaowen... I've been making a little progress since I posted this. The night before last, I didn't get up and eat at all (woo hoo!), which was due, at least in part, to the fact that I masturbated that night with my bunny toy, as I call it LOL (sorry if this is TMI). I'm a very physical/sexual person, and I've noticed that masturbation helps satisfy me somewhat in these times of COVID-19, but more to the point, helps me get in tune with my body. Last night I did not masturbate because it was a long day at work, and when I got home around midnight I was so tired that I collapsed into my bed. And then I woke up several times and ate :-(

[indigo1015]

Ugh... ate at night again even though I masturbated :-( I think it was because I was uncomfortable because I was hot. No A/C in my apartment.

[chalkbag]

Hi indigo1015,

I haven't seen your post earlier so my reply is quite late. I have had a similar problem to yours. I was anorexic and suddenly started night time eating. I lived in a shared flat and even started eating my housemates food at night. I tried similar solutions as you did (taping my door shut etc.) but for a long time nothing worked. It's a horrible feeling this total loss of control and feeling of disgust and not understanding how it is possible to not be able to stop yourself.

I got antidepressants and moved in with my Mum for a couple of weeks. I asked her to lock the kitchen door and after a couple of days she did not even have to do that anymore because it just stopped and never came back. I am still struggling with eating but this has never been an issue since and I was very surprised how easy it was in the end. I assume my solution probably not the right one for you maybe it gives you some hope. I am really sorry that you are struggling with this (or maybe not anymore since the post is a while ago?)!

[cygne]

indigo1015,

Marissa Peer makes some interesting points about nighttime eating and the compulsive urge to binge in the late evening, linking it to humans' survival instinct — "It's been too long without food, please feed us, we're going to starve!".

So in essence, we should aim to reassure ourselves, in the most understanding, caring, and rational of ways, to calm down and know that the food we've got isn't going to spoil until tomorrow and that we're going to find it tomorrow in the pantry or in our fridges.

[prettymccute]

I watched this video. I think it was fantastic.