Problem

I have been diagosed with PPD. I'm 60 and have a job where I stand on my feet 8 hours a day. I am educated and professional and underemployed, no fault of mine. When i started job, everyone loved me. But while standing still 8 hours, my demeanor changed. I've been there for 3 mo. and have not been promoted. When i get a lunch break, a 20 or 30 something cashier comes with a stool to relieve me. They leave with the stool. I stand for another 4 hrs. While things are starting to improve because of my demeanor, I can't rise to the occasion. It's too little, too late. I now hate them and have a deep grudge against them. How dare them change because I become a b*^&#? I feel their behavior is deplorable. I can leave, but it is always the same. I avert my eyes when they smile. I cannot forgive them. Am I really supposed to forgive them?

What we feel is about our own thoughts and perceptions on our experiences. You cannot know why things seem to have improved without asking them and seeing what they say; it may/may not have had anything at all to do with you, might be store-wide or a policy made throughout the company/multiple stores.

You do not have to forgive them but you miss valuable information not asking why they smile, since you feel you have become "a b*^&#?" Maybe they do not see your demeanor that way and just smile because they automatically smile at everyone. Or, maybe they are afraid and are smiling hoping you will stop looking the way you do. You cannot know if you do not ask/talk to them.

Do they know you want to be promoted (not everyone does)? I don't know what jobs there are but maybe there are no openings yet. I think you have to ask management when/if you will be promoted and let them know that you would like a different job.

I don't really have any advice..but I have to say that standing still for 8rs and then a much younger person comes bopping along with a stool for your "break" or "reward" sounds degrading and ridiculous. You can't even leave your standing post to go to a break room? A bunny hops along and brings you a stool. Just the mental picture I got reading this. It sounds like jail or something. I'd try and find a new job while dealing with it.