 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
Member
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 57
11 |
Jun 27, 2016 at 02:27 AM
#1
For so so long I have been feeling like I daily must wrestle a kind of monster. The monster, I know, is in my head. The feeling of it is like I DID SOMETHING HORRIBLY WRONG maybe as a child and am now "paying" for it with terrors, anxiety, more fear, substance abuse (though sober now), etc. This thing I did must have been very bad because the punishment is very bad. Anyway, I'm just damn tired of it. Also, for so so long, I have been in search of a "diagnosis." It's like if I can just find my correct malady, my symptoms will suddenly be OK and I get get effective treatment with all the others who have the same thing. But so far no luck. Underneath it is a sense of unreality, like I am here on Earth but not working with the same reality as others are. Really really tired...
|
|
 Reply With Quote
|
 Anonymous59125, Atypical_Disaster, beauflow, Lost_in_the_woods, Nimportequoi, pluscuamperfecto, Skeezyks
|
|
Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
(SuperPoster!)
9 17.4k hugs
given 
|
Jun 27, 2016 at 02:57 PM
#2
Hello lark265: The Skeezyks has some sense of what you describe. For many years I've had this feeling as though there is some terrible "something" deep within the core of my being... sort-of a malevolent presence that, if it ever got lose, could do incredible damage.
 Fortunately, it never has gotten loose.  I also have no formal diagnosis. I presume there are things written down somewhere for insurance purposes. However, they would be based on nothing since I've never had any kind of testing. I also used to think, if I could just get a formal diagnosis, it would help. I don't know. But at this point I've just given up thinking about it. I'm an older person &, for me, it's just too late to make it worth worrying about any longer. Good luck, though, with your efforts to get yours.  
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
| Anonymous59125
|
|
Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Germany
Posts: 170
8 114 hugs
given |
Jun 30, 2016 at 04:28 AM
#3
Hey lark
 I'm familiar with diffuse feelings of guilt. I'm not sure if this is what you try to describe? Or do you think you must have done something wrong "just" because you are being punished by life, but don't have a feeling of guilt/guilty consciousness? I hope you stay strong and don't give up the fight for a right diagnosis and treatment. Hold your spirits high!  Online forums can be a good tool to find out what you're dealing with. I know a lot of people will frown upon me for saying this, but a mixture of own research and getting in contact with people who have your suspected dx can help to figure out what you are actually suffering from. If you feel you found something that seems really fitting, you can walk up to a professional and explain your symptoms and what and why you suspect to have. |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Nowhere noteworthy.
Posts: 7,145
13 7,354 hugs
given
|
Jul 05, 2016 at 01:41 PM
#4
Having the correct diagnosis can help with getting the treatment you need, for sure... but I want to gently recommend that you may want to try letting go of the idea of having the perfect diagnosis to explain your problems. No diagnosis is going to be perfect, human beings don't fit neatly into these little boxes. If I were you I'd just focus on finding solutions to the problems at hand.
I can relate to the sense of unreality you describe, I suspect that the root causes are likely very different but I know that is not a pleasant feeling. A lot of therapists can definitely help you work through issues like excessive guilt, there's also quite a few articles written by psychology journals and such about this kind of thing that may also be helpful to you. Best of luck. |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
