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KristenRenee
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Lancaster ca
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Default Jan 13, 2017 at 11:34 PM
  #1
Hi there. As i have been reading all the posts people have posted about their paranoia it makes me realize that i have been paranoid for the last 9 years. i haven't worked now for 9 years and am on ssdi for my bipolar disorder. But i can clearly remyember the last job I had 9 years ago, paranoia just about had me done in. i would constantly ask the office manager if i was going to get fird. There was no valid reason to even ask her that all the time because i was performing my job well everyday. it wasn't like i had something to feel guilty about and that's why I always asked her that. But needless to say, i did end up getting fired after all. it was because my head took complete control over me and my feelings and thoughts that i did eventually become unable to perform my job at all. so i actually think that my own head and feelings got the best of me and when i asked if i was going to get fired, i realized that i was actually moving myself towards that option which in fact I did. My bipolar and paranoia have ruined my life. I also have substance abuse issues which only irritate the problem even further. I never ever feel comfortable in my own skin anymore. i hate being this way but i see no hope insight of anything changing near soon for me. Thanks for listening to my posts.
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Smile Jan 16, 2017 at 08:48 PM
  #2
Hello KristenRenee: Thanks for sharing your struggle. In many ways my mental health struggles have also ruined my life. In fact one of the psychiatrists I saw, quite a few years ago now, told me so. I also hate being the way I am. But at my age, it's really just too late to worry about the possibility of making any changes. It all just is what it is. I send my best wishes your way with the hope that you might be able to find deep peace within...
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