[Liahona]

This seems to be a place where others are going through some of what I am. My Grandmother is slowly losing her fight with congestive heart failure. She has diabetes and horrific wounds on her legs. If they thought she could survive an amputation they probably would. As she is the wounds keep coming and she keeps getting sepsis. She has had sepsis 3 times in the past 4 months. Every time her cognitive abilities take a nose dive. The past 2 times they came back. This time they didn't come back fully. She is at a care center but the insurance is running out and my grandfather won't be able to keep her there. Besides if she isn't getting better there she might as well come home. My aunt is trying to figure out how to move in with them. My grandmother can't get out of bed. We've been expecting her to die for decades now, but she has never been this close. I feel a strange detachment coupled with pain. Sometimes I feel like fainting. My eating and depression is out of control. I'm the caregiver for my children and husband; most of whom have disabilities. My 9 year old bipolar son is on the verge of being sent to a residential treatment center because it isn't safe to have him here anymore. The meds aren't working with him. He throws things at us and terrorizes his siblings. I have to be constantly aware of where he is, what he is saying, what he is doing or someone could get very hurt. He is so paranoid about them. His impulse control is non-existent. If he wants something he takes it, if he wants them to do something he tries to physically force them to. Emotionally he is 2 years old. My other 2 sons and husband have autism. There therapies are out the window as I'm dealing with my emotions for my grandmother (who I'm closer to then anyone else besides my kids, husband, and one sister) and K (my 9 year old son.) The psychiatrist wants to put J (my 5 year old autistic son) on meds. I think that if I can keep his screen time down (t.v. gamecube computer ipod) then he won't need the meds. Screen time really effects J. He gets moody and angry and starts acting like K. BUT my husband uses screen time to regulate himself. I turn off the tv and he turns on the computer. I'm on the computer or turn it off he turns on the ipod or gamecube. Emotionally I'm exhausted. Sorry this is so long and rambled. I need to go fight the mental illness now. Some days I really hate mental illness.

[possum220]

Wow I really do feel for you. That is soo much to deal with.

Maybe your Aunt can find a way to move in with your Grandparents. Infections are horrid to deal with.

Then you can concentrate on your family. Surely your doctor should be able to help with names of support groups/respite for all the family.

You don't mention what country you are from. Different countries have different support systems. You need to start making a noise to get help for yourself and all your loved ones.

Please try and give yourself some headspace too.

[CJR520]

If you are in the U.S. you can go to your area counsel on aging. You should be able to access it on line to ask questions about help. There is a lot of help available now, to come into homes and help, maybe through your county or the state. As for problems with your child, you are right. The ones who do best, get help playing, doing, and putting things together. Not left online all to themselves.