[Aunt Donna]

My husband and I are in an interesting position in life now, taking care of and the possibility of taking care of our parents. I know that sounds strange. First of all my mother lives with us. She works full-time and refuses to stop. We did manage to get her to stop working two jobs a few years ago. She has arthritis in her back. The doctor said if she stops moving, it will get worse, so she keeps on. The thing is, she is used to doing all the cooking in our home and the laundry. (My husband and I work days and she works evenings). Now, her energy level isn't as high as it was when she was younger and she does good to work her shift. She feels bad because she isn't doing her share. My husband and I have reassured her that it will be okay we will do what is necessary to adjust even if it means hiring someone come in once a week.

The thing is my husband and I know when his parents (who are divorced) need taking care of, we will be the ones. We refuse to consider a nursing home as an option. My husband's aunt takes care of my husband's 91 year old grandfather and he gives them a time. Love the man though. My husband is willing for his mother to move in if it comes to it, but refuses to let his father. Thankfully all that is in the future. Not sure how far in the future but in the future. Any advise would be welcomed.

I am taking my mother in June to see her 89 year old mother. My aunt takes care of her. I hope my mother can handle the drive, she has trouble riding for any length of time because of her back and the need to move around.

[possum220]

Sounds like you are very caring and understand what it is going to take. People in their forties/fifties are often called the sandwich generation as they are looking after their own children while looking after their parents.

Plans are a good place to start. But take each day as it comes too. Sometimes what we expect may happen doesn't.

Take Care

[Aunt Donna]

Thanks for the reply. My husband and I don't have any children. I guess then we aren't sandwiched, but do have nieces and nephews. Thinking back, I am not really new at this. When I was sixteen, I moved in with my grandmother so she wouldn't have to go into a nursing home. It seemed to be the natural thing to do. Everybody else was busy with their lives. I moved out when I married and by that time she was able to stay by herself with people stopping in on a regular basis. My husband's grandmother lived with them when the time came. It just seems to be the natural thing to do to take care of family. My twelve year old niece likes to stay with us and she doesn't mind helping my mom ( her grandmother) and she likes to be around my husband's parents and spending time with them. Her older sister, who is in nursing school, helps out when she can and my sister is the office manager of a home health care. I am thankful as a family, I do have someone to lean on.