Not quite a "caregiver"... but I really need to rant. :(

Soooo not sure I'm really a "caregiver," but this seemed the best place to rant about this particular topic, if that's all right with you all.

Long story short, my girlfriend has Crohn's disease. I do a LOT for her--bring her meals when she sleeps too late, make food for her, stay with her when she's hurting or feverish, carry her stuff, remind her of things, do little things so she doesn't have to... basic stuff. It's a ton easier for me than it could be because we go to the same university and it's a small campus. 98% of the time I truly don't mind, and actually really enjoy feeling useful and helpful to her.

Still, sometimes I just feel so helpless. Sometimes it gets so discouraging that there is just NOTHING I can do to ease her pain or help her out. Today I she told me about yet another symptom she has to face, and with how drained I've been because of my own depression/anxiety combo getting worse, I just want to cry. It's so hopelessly unfair and awful and it's just going to get worse over the summer. It makes me want to scream and hit things, and being as drained and stressed as I am makes this really hard. I absolutely love her, but... yeah. You know the story, I'm sure.

Anyway yeah, sorry for the rant. Thank you for reading if you did, though!

(((muse)))
My daughter has a bladder disease. She was diagnosed at 18 but is now 26 and engaged to her man who is the father of my beautiful 4 year old grandson.

It is so hard sometimes to cope with the ER visits, the pain, the illness (which is so unfair to be inflicted on such a young, beautiful, vibrant woman). Her man is just now understanding the gravity of her illness and what she needs from him (after 6 years together).

I applaud you for your support and at the same time understand how hard it can be. When there is nothing you can do to ease her pain....just hold her and tell her that you love her....there is so much healing in that!

Muse...open up to her about your depression/anxiety and let her do the same for you. I'm sure that she would welcome the opportunity to give back to you what you give to her.

Its horrid to watch friends and family suffer. Sometimes we feel like the hardest part will never end.

Keep in mind that people can get better. Their bodies heal and life goes on.

But sometimes life just sucks....... .

Thank you so much, both of you!

Susan, I've told her about my issues, and she has been phenomenally helpful to me with all that I go through. She's an angel (sometimes a lioness, haha) when I'm feeling panicky or depressed. It's great that we can help each other, but I'm not really sure if that makes it better or worse... that we really, truly understand what the other is going through, if through different parts of the body (her physically, me mentally) or if it sucks because she feels as helpless as I do. :/ It's just weird.

The one really good thing, though, is that even though we haven't been together for very long in the grand scheme, we're still committed to one another. We still love each other and want to help each other, even though we're both pretty.... well, quirky. And I adore her bravery, her thirst for life, the way she NEVER lets her disease stand in the way of living! She's incredible.

Another bad day for my girlfriend.... REALLY bad, actually. I don't mind taking care of her, but how do you all deal with the feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness that come with all of this? What do you tell yourself to get through the really hard times?

my motto is: "it will be ok... eventually." i just use that to tell myself over and over again that it will be ok. the world keeps going and life still gives us the ups and downs, but it's never just down. it goes up again, even though it might go down again too. life works itself out. and even when it's the hardest... keep going, because change is constant. that much i know. =)