[BDPpartner]

I know my other half is ill but it hurts me when he tells me not to touch him. And sometimes worse not to talk to him

[aachmedmh]

Originally Posted by BDPpartner

I know my other half is ill but it hurts me when he tells me not to touch him. And sometimes worse not to talk to him

Is he telling you these things in anger? What is the context?

Have you tried telling him calmly how it makes you feel?

[BDPpartner]

He tells me these things maybe twice a month at least. It's not out of anger, he's usually calm. I can sometimes tell it coming as he doesn't answer me if i ask him anything and if i do get his attention it's only moments b4 he ignores me again. Times like that i just say fine i'll leave you alone. But it's when i'm not expecting; maybe we've been talking and i perhaps touch his back as i pass by in a narrow space. I get told to stop being a pest, your like a child stop poking about at me. Don't touch me, i just want some peace and quite your so loud etc etc. I know some of it is his bpd if not all of it, but he makes me feel awful. It's got to the point where i dare not ask him for a cuddle when i need one. I love him but living with him is lonely especially as my family and friends are quite a distants away.

[KeepGoing8]

That sounds really hard. As an outsider, to me it sounds like his reactions are based more on the troubles he's having in his own mind, and not a reflection of you and your love for each other...Lots of folks here, including myself, have deep-seeded problems with being touched, and we can be "triggered" at the most random, unexpected moments. For whatever reason (I don't feel right throwing out diagnoses), your other half might have a "trigger" experience with being touched a certain way, or in a certain scenario, that automatically gives him the urge to reject that touch, and shut down...to protect himself. For you, it is a LOT to deal with, especially in a life-partner relationship. If he's had a BPD diagnosis, does he still have a T? Have you considered couples counseling? Even speaking to him about it at a time when things are calm, and he seems non-triggered, might help...but it also may be such a "sensitive subject" that he CAN'T open up to you about it...a therapist is trained to accept and explore these kinds of responses. Good luck partner!

[BDPpartner]

Unfortunately suffering from bpd he has very many triggers. He sees the world as black and white, right or wrong no in between. He always moans to me that his previous partner never made the first move in the bed room department. I made sure not to leave it all to him. But last year on my birthday i was devastated when he told me i molest him and that if he went to the police and told them what i'd done i go to prison for a lot of years. I don't even dare be sexual until he has overtly showed his arousal. I don't even masturbate with him in the house for fear of his accusal but i chose him and for the most part love him, just wish sometimes he could see my side