[ShakespearsSister]

My boyfriend has bipolar Disorder. He is 49 years old, and i am 28 years old. We dont mind the age difference though. he told me last night that he come over today while i did a pregnancy test. He text me earlier today, asking if i was going to have the baby, and i said yes. He also said that he would come over at 1.00pm, but he didnt turn up. He sent me a text just now ( at 8.15pm ) saying " I love you but i'm drunk at the moment. Missing you, love you always ". I know it was nice of him to say that he misses me and loves me, but i'm annoyed that he didnt turn up today. Finding out whether i am pregnant or not should be his top priority, not getting drunk!. Should i leave him?. He is reliable most of the time ( he came over here almost every day last week, except for one day ). He gets drunk everytime he gets paid though. This worries me, especially since we might be having a child. I even told him that this should be his top priority, but he obviously hasnt listened.

Also, he already has a son, who is a year and a half younger than i am!. His ex wife is the mother of their son. Sometimes ,it feels strange that i am not much older than his son, but i do love my boyfriend very much. It's difficult for me to handle some things that he does sometimes.

I'll post more about our relationship soon.I'd like to tell you more so that you understand more about us. It's very late here now.

[Travelinglady]

Being in a relationship with someone with bipolar isn't easy. The mood swings come out of the blue, and something that gets planned might go by the wayside. I suggest you read about such relationships to get a better understanding of what your boyfriend is dealing with--and as a result, what you are having to deal with.

Is he seeing a therapist and taking medications? He needs some sort of treatment. And he definitely shouldn't be drinking alcohol. It is a depressant.

One book you might want to read is The Bipolar Relationship: How to Understand, Help, and Love Your Partner by Bloch, Golden, and Rosenfield. The information you get from a book like this one should help you to make an informed decision.

[ShakespearsSister]

Is it better to talk to your partner, or leave them alone when they are depressed?. My boyfriend is very depressed today, but i haven't replied to his texts as i don't know what to say. I tried to call him, but he didn't answer the phone. It put me off sending him a text when he didn't answer his phone. I feel like just leaving him alone until he is better, but he might think that i don't care, or that i am ignoring him. It's difficult to know what to say though.

I have been with him for fifteen months.I'm starting to get at the end of my tether though.

[Orion XXV]

Originally Posted by ShakespearsSister

Is it better to talk to your partner, or leave them alone when they are depressed?. My boyfriend is very depressed today, but i haven't replied to his texts as i don't know what to say. I tried to call him, but he didn't answer the phone. It put me off sending him a text when he didn't answer his phone. I feel like just leaving him alone until he is better, but he might think that i don't care, or that i am ignoring him. It's difficult to know what to say though.

I have been with him for fifteen months.I'm starting to get at the end of my tether though.

When my partner goes through this depressed cycle and doesn't talk for ... days... I usually just wait for him to come back. It would be pointless to message him throughout the day because no matter how hard you try, the situation will only change with time.

I have been in my relationship for over 2 years now and I can tell you that things were better at the beginning... I know that sounds like a downer. As the months rolled by, the depression and the mania became more more obvious and it's been a rollercoaster. Some days he doesn't want to talk, others he blames everything on you (even if his source of irritability might stem from an unrelated trigger). And making plans doesn't exist for him ... so many "let's do something at 2pm" and he ends up sleeping through that or ignoring it.

Anyways... enough about me. If you feel like this uncomfortable and certainly unalterable, it might be best to part. Just remember that our lives are not set in stone and that you have the freedom to change things if need be. Address the things that are bothering you with him when he snaps past this phase and you can talk.