[lisacj]

I didn't get married until I was 27. 17 years of cheating, abuse, and alcohol later we divorced. I now know that my ex is NPD and very ill. I do feel that I am a much stronger person due to all I've been through. I really don't have any desire to date or get married again (not that I'm against it).

I am hopeless romantic. I have always believed in true love. I have always believed there was someone for everyone. Well, I no longer believe that. I think I missed my chance at true love. Even though I don't want to date or anything, I sure miss that feeling of being in love. What really makes me sad is that I will never know what it feels like to have someone truly love me.

Does anyone else who was married to a person with NPD feel like this??

[rob0318]

im new here so I dont know what NPD is, but I dont really think it has anything to do with your problem. Who cheated, who is abusive, and who is the alcoholic. Putting this aside you have been through a lot and your feeling very emotional, lost, confused, unloved, all kinds of stuff. Your depressed right now. It does suck, its going to take a long time to get over it. As far as not wanted to date right now, I completely understand, I myself cant get over my ex and i have no interest to date anyone. Its very hard to feel this way and we end up in places like this for help. It is great to talk to other people here but it really never takes the hurt away. Only time does that. A lot of time. I do know that you will be fine again and you will fall in love with someone else. you will find something healthy. I do wish you the very best, keep posting

[lisacj]

I truly appreciate your input. I am actually way past the pain and anger and hurt. My reason for including the intro paragraph was to let readers understand how I know that my love was never truly returned all those years. Because of my marriage and all I went through, I am actually in a far better emotional state than I was for the 10 years before I met him.

The only thing that makes me sad anymore is the fact that I will never get to have that love. The one that I dreamed about since I was a little girl. I want to feel that excitement that you see in movies.

I do feel that my one true love of my life is my daughter. She has been my inspiration, my reason to survive, and my friend.