[Maryrose88]

My ex has recently tried getting in touch with me and I suppose it has re-triggered my suspicions that he may have bipolar/narcissistic disorder.i studied psychology in college so was always aware of some of the symptoms but definitely no expert!
Basically I met this guy six months ago,after a lot of chatting and texting we finally went on a date during the summer. He was very handsome,very confident but a little self absorbed.he spent a lot of time talking about his job as a police officer, that he sometimes worked up to sixty hours a week, how some other cops have it in for him because he is in a very high rank and on a great salary etc.he told me a lot of 'behind the scenes' stories but made me swear not to tell anyone. He was very much into his image,very flashy watch and car and brand name clothes.anyway we ended up having a great time as he was a lot of fun and was extremely charming.things moved very fast and I (stupidly) agreed to be his girlfriend very early.anyway,soon afterwards I began to see a darker side to him.he soon insisted that we drink in his local bar,he would proceed to get very drunk any time we met for a drink,would even try to start fights and would do anything for more booze. He also started to check out girls in front of me and one night at the bar,he met a relative of his.while he was at the bar this relative told me he wasn't a police officer at all he was a bar man!i was horrified because he went into SO much detail and stories about car accidents etc as his job as a police officer.on confronting him,he completely denied it and eventually made me feel guilty for questioning him. Still suspicious,I looked up the bar website and there he was!he still reacted with anger saying it must be a guy who looked like him!he eventually admitted it,I couldn't get over how he lied,it was as if he genuinely believed he was a police officer. He didnt even see much wrong with the lying,suggesting we start over.where he got the money to fund his lavish lifestyle I don't know.i think he had insomnia as he would txt me at crazy hours pretending to b at work(when he was obviously in bed)he had extremely jealous tendencies and when drunk would come out with bizarre statements (I'm a bad mother f...., my father is cringing in his grave...I hate u and my family etc)i later found out from a friend that he was prone to drink driving and gambling.i ended it with him three months ago,he is still texting and ringing saying he loves me even tho I am not replying.he did admit that he has a 'constant craving for attention from women and its frightening'.its the pathological lying and the extent of it,however,which until now has me totally shocked.im wondering is he a narcissist or could he be bipolar?am I doing right by ignoring him?i recently found out there is also a history of alcoholism and mental illness in his family.

[Confusedinomicon]

Get a restraining order so he doesnt harass you anymore. It doesnt matter what he has as long as you feel safe.

Maybe see a therapist temporarily if it will help you heal.

[hamster-bamster]

There is nothing bp in your description. Get a RO and be done with it. Narcissism, might be, but not bipolar. If you studied psychology in college, do not you remember that NPD and bipolar are two completely, completely different animals? I cannot believe you managed to conflate them.

But at any rate, we are not at a research conference and it does not matter - just do what Confused says.

[unaluna]

For me, the drinking would be enough to call it quits. Also the job fantasy.

[Odee]

At the point he's at, I don't think it even matters. He.... has....problems. Perhaps a whole host of them. Sorry he drew you in like that, but I'm happy you pulled yourself out!!

Hamster: I don't think it's bipolar but there are manic qualities there. OP isn't conflating anything.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Odee

Hamster: I don't think it's bipolar but there are manic qualities there. OP isn't conflating anything.

"He was very handsome,very confident but a little self absorbed" does not rise to the level of mania. Manic people are often very confident but not all very confident people are manic, so not enough information to pronounce him manic.

[Jannaku]

Have you considered that he may be a sociopath?? Sounds very much like a man that I had the misfortune to meet a few years back. He was charming, charismatic, appeared very confident, lied ++++++++, delusions of "grandeur" or greatness, etc. Thank god he's out of your life and make sure you keep it that way. No contact is the only way. Never regret what's happened but consider yourself lucky. Lucky that more damage wasn't done and that you've survived his deceit. All the best.

[lisacj]

get a restraining order

Unfortunatly I have learned from my own experience that unless there is documented (police reports) proof of physical abuse, you cannot obtain a restraining order.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by lisacj

Unfortunatly I have learned from my own experience that unless there is documented (police reports) proof of physical abuse, you cannot obtain a restraining order.

even with harassing correspondence?

[nanettetron]

I am said to be bipolar and schizaphrenic. I do not believe that and I have a restraining order I believe against me and I have no friends or any family that I like.
I pray and I believe there is a God. I made one prank call and I got arrested.
Please pray for deliverance and peace for my body and love and happiness . I am told by the psychiatrist I need treatment and I am a Houston Harrasser.
Please pray for me and please bless me. I want a job blogging and I want to never,
never never go to the hospital again in 2013 for psychiatri painful horrible treatment.
I want friends and I do not want to be studied or put alone in a psycho ward
my whole life or take psychie pills. Please pray for me. God Bless America

Love,
Hurting, suffering,
stigma schizaphrenic.
People are scared of me and I have a history.
What else can go wrong with my life.
I do not want to be beaten ever again by any man women boy or gir.
I would like some friends in 2013 and New boyfriend or husband relationship
Possibly preganant and advised by the important doctor to have another abortion
I do not want an abortion. If I am the owner of my body. Let me do with
my body what I want. Please pray mercy on my crippled body and love and peace
and espcially, espcially. Financial blessings on 2013.

I need money. I do not want to be on SSI because I can not buy a house and a car
so I want to blog making money blogging in 2013. I do not want
to ever go to the hospital again for psychie disciplining treatment or care
of pure hatred.
I never had a friend in my life and a hating mother.
Please pray for me and please bless me.
Life is hard and bad and I do not want to die.
I want to live, I want to live.

love me,

Love,
Nanette

[Odee]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

"He was very handsome,very confident but a little self absorbed" does not rise to the level of mania. Manic people are often very confident but not all very confident people are manic, so not enough information to pronounce him manic.

Possible excessive money spending, elaborate alternative persona, possibly very little sleep, drinking, gambling...

We here cannot diagnose and we both know that anyone bipolar or not can have these characteristics, but all of these qualities can fit under bipolar just as well as they can NPD. OP wasn't conflating anything.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Odee

Possible excessive money spending, elaborate alternative persona, possibly very little sleep, drinking, gambling...

We here cannot diagnose and we both know that anyone bipolar or not can have these characteristics, but all of these qualities can fit under bipolar just as well as they can NPD. OP wasn't conflating anything.

Ok, I am now convinced.

[krisakira]

I'm worried about how you are clumping bipolar with narcissism. They are two completely different things.

[lolitahiddleston]

Originally Posted by Maryrose88

My ex has recently tried getting in touch with me and I suppose it has re-triggered my suspicions that he may have bipolar/narcissistic disorder.i studied psychology in college so was always aware of some of the symptoms but definitely no expert!
Basically I met this guy six months ago,after a lot of chatting and texting we finally went on a date during the summer. He was very handsome,very confident but a little self absorbed.he spent a lot of time talking about his job as a police officer, that he sometimes worked up to sixty hours a week, how some other cops have it in for him because he is in a very high rank and on a great salary etc.he told me a lot of 'behind the scenes' stories but made me swear not to tell anyone. He was very much into his image,very flashy watch and car and brand name clothes.anyway we ended up having a great time as he was a lot of fun and was extremely charming.things moved very fast and I (stupidly) agreed to be his girlfriend very early.anyway,soon afterwards I began to see a darker side to him.he soon insisted that we drink in his local bar,he would proceed to get very drunk any time we met for a drink,would even try to start fights and would do anything for more booze. He also started to check out girls in front of me and one night at the bar,he met a relative of his.while he was at the bar this relative told me he wasn't a police officer at all he was a bar man!i was horrified because he went into SO much detail and stories about car accidents etc as his job as a police officer.on confronting him,he completely denied it and eventually made me feel guilty for questioning him. Still suspicious,I looked up the bar website and there he was!he still reacted with anger saying it must be a guy who looked like him!he eventually admitted it,I couldn't get over how he lied,it was as if he genuinely believed he was a police officer. He didnt even see much wrong with the lying,suggesting we start over.where he got the money to fund his lavish lifestyle I don't know.i think he had insomnia as he would txt me at crazy hours pretending to b at work(when he was obviously in bed)he had extremely jealous tendencies and when drunk would come out with bizarre statements (I'm a bad mother f...., my father is cringing in his grave...I hate u and my family etc)i later found out from a friend that he was prone to drink driving and gambling.i ended it with him three months ago,he is still texting and ringing saying he loves me even tho I am not replying.he did admit that he has a 'constant craving for attention from women and its frightening'.its the pathological lying and the extent of it,however,which until now has me totally shocked.im wondering is he a narcissist or could he be bipolar?am I doing right by ignoring him?i recently found out there is also a history of alcoholism and mental illness in his family.

Definitely cut off all communications from this guy he's not safe for you or anyone around him. Please give us an update on how you're doing.

[Rose76]

I have been in relationships with some men who were not good to be in a relationship with. As someone above said, it doesn't matter what the label is. What matters, I think, is the behavior and how it affected you. Also, I don't think it really matters what his family's history is. You have all the info you need to make a sensible decision, and you have done so. End it. That means that - Yes - you must ignore him. It might be appropriate to say that it didn't work out and that you wish him well, but that you will not see him any longer. Then you have to stick to that.

Any kind of a relationship with this man will bring you unhappiness. He is utterly untrustworthy. He has multiple very serious problems. He drinks heavily. He pursues attention from women in a way that no mature man with a new girl friend would do. He lies at a level that is pathological. All the love in the world you could give him is not going to fix him. Plus, he has a right to be who he is.

You wisely ended it. See if you can get a block on your phone to block the calls from him. That probably won't work perfectly because he can still just use a different phone. It would probably help because he has most access to his own phone.

If he is not threatening your safety, then I agree that you probably can't get a restraining order. Excessive stalking however can be grounds for such an order deprending on the state. Sometimes, we want the police to do for us what we lack the strength to do for ourselves. (I've been in that boat.) If men telling lies to women were against the law, imagine how busy the police and courts would be. They have more pressing concerns.

I'm sorry you went through this. It is hurtful. You might want to get some counseling for yourself. Guys like that select women with care. A very narcisisstic man who I got involved with told me that he scanned a room full of women like a lion inspecting a herd of antelope. "I pick out the one I think is most vulnerable." This guy wasn't a monster and was actually nice to me, in ways. That's why it took me, like, 6 friggin years to totally disentangle from him.

I wish now that I hadn't wasted so much of my time/life. I was lonely. He knew just how to exploit that. It felt like having him was better than nothing. How I underestimated what life might have offered me. I hope you don't make that mistake. Something about you - maybe something very nice and sweet - made you the lady he decided to pursue (like the lion picking out the gazelle.) Explore what that might be. Figure out how you might adapt to not be so vulnerable.

I've known women who could spot an exploitative man a mile away. Somehow, we didn't get blessed with that kind of radar. I think we can work on developing it, though.