Exactly 11 days ago I once again agreed to committ, support and do whatever it took to remain in my relationship with my bi-polar spouse. The last episode was after I was served with foreclosure papers on the house, I found out she had been cancelling the payements after they were scheduled and we were 3 months behind, I confronted her and this led to a whirlwind of mania and me being an a**hole, her leaving for 3 days etc.... I agreed one more time....She took her meds all week, her mood was balanced, there were no episodes, she was not manic, she was not depressed, she actually communicated with me, I made dinner and we ate as a family, we spent time with her son and she wasnt angry, she didnt yell at him. She let me come to a psychiatrist appointment with her. I felt relieved, I felt that there was hope. I think I actually started to trust her, just a little bit.

I was looking at a picture taken of her during those 11 days and noticed her wedding ring on her right finger. I was hurt because I truly want the chaos to stop, I truly want normalcy, so I asked her about it. I guess I should have known this would send her into a manic episode, it was one of the worst ones I have ever witnessed, the verbal outbursts were completley delusional, of course our relationship was over, I was an a**hole, she was a fool for ever believing she could trust in me, the attempt at the physical abuse started, she attempted to get in my face, throw things at me etc...
Of course the issue was never addressed, told I was seeing things, I was delusional, that this was all me etc....I remained calm and repeatedly said "let it go" I was a F**ker, you name it.....the episode lasted 3 days...

Now she loves me and is in love with me and doesnt understand why I provoked her and misses me so much.......

I cant take this anymore, I dont understand. She is a very very intelligent woman, there is no logic during these outbursts, no reasoning, no communicating, everything is gone....she denies mental illness, blames me for everything... I dont understand. And I cant keep "pretending" its ok, because its not, and everytime it happens it takes something away, it takes a little piece of my heart away and it takes a little bit of my love away and I am closer to walking out of that door.

This time I didnt say ok, this time I said no, NO you have to stop this, you have to control this rage, these outburts, you have to treat me right, I have to be able to talk to you and tell you things and your bi-polar cant be an excuse for everything.....

I love her with all of me, but I love myself more, its killing me

[Travelinglady]

Hi! I responded to your other post. To summarize, I suggested that your wife's behavior sounds more like that of a person with borderline personality disorder.

I'll add here that I think you need to tell the doc you have talked to exactly what you have told us--even maybe giving him the exact same description, in the exact words, so he'll know how she really is.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Hi! I responded to your other post. To summarize, I suggested that your wife's behavior sounds more like that of a person with borderline personality disorder.

I'll add here that I think you need to tell the doc you have talked to exactly what you have told us--even maybe giving him the exact same description, in the exact words, so he'll know how she really is.

I totally agree both (that is might be BPD and that you need to print out what your wrote for the p-doc).

OP, what you describe is way closer to BPD than to BP mania:

"I was looking at a picture taken of her during those 11 days and noticed her wedding ring on her right finger. I was hurt because I truly want the chaos to stop, I truly want normalcy, so I asked her about it. I guess I should have known this would send her into a manic episode, it was one of the worst ones I have ever witnessed, the verbal outbursts were completley delusional, of course our relationship was over, I was an a**hole, she was a fool for ever believing she could trust in me, the attempt at the physical abuse started, she attempted to get in my face, throw things at me etc..."

Read about mania and you will see that mania is NOT that.