[fedupp]

Hi. New here.

My husband and i have been married 32 years. He has gotten steadily worse and now he' s just blaming ME for EVERYTHING. he is agitated, irritable and saying im the one who doesnt take responsibility for my reactions. How is one supposed to react to bipolar abuse?

he has always threatened to leave, to have sex with others, etc. lately he's filling out apartment applications "in case" "I" dont stop reacting. we're in a mess.

how does one deal with all this drama? esp. how can i deal with the blaming me which sounds psychotic and delusional.?? for 3 days before now he was sweetness and light and making plans for when we fight to "just stop", now he's looking to "escape" to his own place. he refuses to take any responsibilty and then tries to make it like I am the one refusing.

all the threats to leave from the last 32 plus years are starting to get to me.
Plus, he's online registered with some type of dating service, but he tells me it's just a game. GOOD GRIEF. it feels like im losing my OWN mind.

[Travelinglady]

I suggest you read some books about being in a relationship with a bipolar partner. I know they exist, but I don't know the names. You might google this topic to see what they are.

Also, I recommend you see a therapist to get advice about your spouse. I suspect he is bipolar I, which can mean he does have psychotic episodes--and alas, he might actually get involved in affairs.

You won't be able to reason with him when he is in one of these states.

Is he in therapy and taking meds?

As you know, being in a marriage with a bipolar can be very tough. The statistics are against these marriages being successful.

[EBD8]

Not sure what to say but I'll try to help. I'm a 54 y/o bi-polar 2 male diagnosed in 1995 but I knew I was having trouble before then but didn't get help. Is your husband on medication now? If he is, is he taking them like he supposed to? Is he abusing other substances? Has he visited Dr. who can evaluate his medication status. Of course there are many other questions I could ask but it sounds like he is in major denial and is taking it out on you. Not sure of your situation but is there anyone that can help you get through a crisis, because it sounds like he is in one. Sounds like he needs medical intervention if you can him to get to agree to help although that sounds tough because he is blaming you for all his problems. All bipolar are suseptable to addictions and the 3 most common are sex, drugs, and gambling which are all in the high risk catagorey. I have found that with me, sleep disturbance is a major trigger. Dr. Ronald Fieve wrote an excellent book on bipolar 2 and will help but personally I take issue with him calling BP2 so call 'soft bipolar.' His insight is useful but soft bp2 or bp2 can destroy a family unit. His agitation could be a sign of a depressed state or an hypo-manic state. Only a mental health care provider who specializes in mood disorders can make that determination. BOL