[creznor]

Hello,

I know the forum is usually reserved for questions associated with anxiety and depression, but I would just like you guys' takes on people labeled "psychopaths." I ask because about a year and a half ago I came across an individual -- via my father's then girlfriend -- that has caused me a severe deal of emotional/psychological trauma and has also separated/divided my family. During that time I had bought a self-help book for anxiety and was making some degree of improvement to my life with regards to my anxiety conditions, but those efforts were completely squashed and sabotaged and I now believe to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, in addition to the other myriad of anxiety/depressive conditions I used to have. Thankfully the psychopathic individual is no longer in my father's life so I'm no longer affected by her influence (the individual was female), but the negative experiences with her were extremely traumatic for me and have also caused me to become cynical and skeptical of just about everyone. At times I've been so paranoid that I've felt like I was losing my mind and developing schizophrenia.

From an outsider's perspective, this individual didn't even seem human -- neither in behavior nor looks; it was as if she was this empty vessel of flesh guided by some evil, indestructible, supernatural force that would wreak havoc and destroy everyone in it's path (especially emotionally). I'm not even religious but if I were ever asked to identify a person most closely resembling a "demon" incarnated, it would be this individual. In my entire life, I have never come across someone like that before. For me it was somewhat of an awakening because I did not even know that people like that existed, I always thought everyone was generally goodhearted and well-intentioned (like me so to speak), and I always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. This individual was everything but goodhearted and well-intentioned; she was the complete opposite. I do not doubt for a second that she has probably driven some people to commit suicide and/or committed homicide herself. She certainly seemed very capable of it.

The most memorable feature about this individual, besides the fact that she could look at you in the eye and lie without the slightest hint or indication that she was lying, or her near demonic ability to push the right buttons in order to persuade and manipulate you to her favor or interests, was that she had an exceedingly abnormal level of aggression and would explode with rage at the drop of a hat to such an extreme degree that she actually used to lose control of her bladder function and urinate herself. It was so sick. She also loved causing unnecessary fear in people and leaving them in a state of anxiety. There were two times in which I had called the police as I felt my life was in danger during a heated confrontation, and when they arrived she switched into the innocent, humble victim and twisted the story around deliberately so as to make me appear crazy and unstable, which wasn't hard for the officers to believe because I was in the midst of a full-fledged panic attack and was literally shaking. After these incidents had occurred I began to feel I hopeless, and I was in such a severe state of dissociation that I was about to voluntarily admit myself to my local hospital's psychiatric unit.

I researched her name on my county's website clerk of court's record's search and discovered that she had been married five times in her life and that she had restraining orders against four of the five husbands she had married. She seems to go around in life marrying men to be entitled to their possessions or to obtain something from them and then, when they're no longer valuable to her she scrams and goes onto the next one like a parasite. She also had a permanent Injunction (restraining order) placed on her by her own mother, whom I guess she had been living with when the restraining order had been placed. I actually have a copy of the original petition in my hands and in the description section it says that she "expressed her wishes to get her boyfriend's revolver and shoot her mother and nephew in their sleep" and that she had kicked in her mother's bedroom door and gotten her in a choke hold, and that when the police arrived she was "taken to CHI (Community health of South Florida) for psychiatric evaluation." She was also referred to court-ordered therapy sessions which she failed to complete.

I also started researching "personality disorders" (which in retrospect was a bad idea because it just reinforced more anxiety) and realized that her traits most closely resemble an antisocial or borderline personality, but I personally feel that she is a psychopath. The woman is the epitome of evil in my opinion. I feel her behavior is calculated and deliberate. She likes using gaslighting techniques to make people doubt their own intuition and memory. She seems to obtain gratification by causing destruction, disharmony and conflict. With that being said, I guess my question(s) are, what makes these people act the way they do, why do they exist? What do you recommend should I ever encounter this individual or another one like her in the future?

Thank you so much,


creznor

[Jannaku]

Hi there. Well it does sound like you have had the unfortunate experience of a close encounter with a psycopath. I have had an experience with one individual about 5 years ago that also turned out to be a psycopath. Although different there are some similar traits - the main being that he could look you in the eye and blatently lie without even a flicker of an eyelid. This individual entered our life and wreaked havoc and caused much disruption to our family and relationships. Over a course of about 18 months his true colours came out bit by bit and lies and deception were insane. Basically his whole life was a lie and he also had a history of ripping people off with debts everywhere. He lived a complete lie telling people the most amazing crap but he was very, very convincing and to anyone who didn't really know him they would have no reason to disbelieve his stories. It took a while to "diagnose" him - I thought he may have been bipolar (and could have been as well) or schizophrenic as he appeared to have several different personas which he used for different situations and to portray different "realities". Anyway he ended up leaving our life in a dramatic way and made my blood boil because he had basically used and abused us - he was a con artist. Following this and after much research I realised that he completely fit all the criteria for a psycopath/sociopath. I was so amazed by this that I bought several books and read as much as I could and was stunned to realise that there are individuals in this world who "do not have a conscience"!!!! I always thought that everyone had a conscience but apparently these people are born without one and it is a hereditary trait just like eye colour or hair colour. Alarmingly I also discovered that there are quite a number of them out there and that they are indistinguishable from other people. Often they are the least suspecting people holding positions of power and authority. Because of my experience with one I was "injured" and it took a really long time to get over him and our encounter with him. Since that time I have to be honest and say that I am overly suspicious of people and not half as trusting as I used to be. I feel that it's a blessing in one way because prior to my encounter I was a very trusting, giving person who always looked at the good side of everyone. Not any more. You live and you learn. To me these are lessons in life that strengthen us. I also found a great website at the time called lovefraud.com which is basically dedicated to psycopathic encounters and is run by a psychiatrist/author and another lady. I found (and still do) that the information is very very informative and beneficial. You may want to check it out. Sorry to hear that your experience was so traumatic but I can fully understand how soul destroying an encounter with these soul less people can be. Be warned - they are hard to pick and they come in all shapes and sizes, ages, positions (e.g. policeman, judge, dr) etc. Good luck in your recovery

[manwithnofriends]

I feel this is a common trait among every individual with great wealth, fame or authority. Once they win their position, they abuse it and care nowt about others. They only want the status that comes with it. They're only happy because they have power over others.

[Jannaku]

Originally Posted by manwithnofriends

I feel this is a common trait among every individual with great wealth, fame or authority. Once they win their position, they abuse it and care nowt about others. They only want the status that comes with it. They're only happy because they have power over others.

This sounds more like the narcissist I am married to not the psychopath I knew. The psychopath I knew didn't try to control or have power over others, he simply used and abused people to his advantage whereas my husband has wealth and authority and needs to have power and control over everyone because he believes he is better than everyone else. The one thing that they both share in common however is that they lack empathy. Both are people I don't want in my life

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

It is rare for a woman to be a sociopath or psychopath. the difference between a sociopath and psychopath is that a psychopath follows through with their wanted actions like killing, physically hurting people that make them mad, conning, etc. there are other disorders that enable people to lie and manipulate easily, and anybody can become a con-artist and a "bad" person to others. I personally believe that a sociopath and a psychopath are way too smart to let the police know what they wanted to do to the person if they hadn't already been caught. And even then I doubt they'd admit it readily. Why don't you re-post this in the anti-social personality forum?