Anyone else dated a bona fide sociopath?

I have a long story of pain and heartbreak from a 3 year relationship with someone who was labeled a sociopath by a very qualified psychologist. Basically dated Jekyll and Hyde. I realized through that experience that I come from a narcissistic mother and recognized her traits in him. Phew! Both of those people suck. Can anyone relate?

I can relate to the Jekyll and Hyde but have assumed that my partner was narcissistic - I would love to hear your story though!

I was married to one for 5 years. Yeah, I can relate.

I can relate I have a narcisist mother and was dating a sociopath for six years. Didn't realise she was a sociopath till my t told me she was. T said that I saw my mom in my girlfriend but I hate my mom so I dunno.

define sociopath..

well, you can look up the definition of sociopath, but the gist of it is that they are very charming and "nice" on the surface, but they have a whole other side that doesn't come out until you cross them. i found out my boyfriend had been going behind my back every single day and picking up hookers and other girls on Craigslist to sleep with, and taking my money to fund a serious coke habit I never even realized he had. he was a totally different person to my face, professing his love to me, talking about our future together, etc. when i confronted him about it (found evidence in his emails), he became abusive and gaslighted me for months. finally he went to the police and lied and said that i had been stalking and harassing him for 6 months (when in fact he had been living at my house and sleeping in my bed until a week before) and i was arrested and went to jail. they dropped the case when they realized he was nuts and i gave them evidence to contradict his story, but a lot of damage was done. the day after i was arrested (10 days after our breakup) he flew some girl out from colorado to NY to be with him. she left as soon as she arrived and met him, and ran off with another man. he then hooked up with another woman who happened to be the head of the psych department at Riker's Island (prison) and Kirby State mental hospital. she saw through him and cut contact with him after 3 weeks- he had been proposing marriage and kids to her along with a lot of other erratic behavior and lies. she wrote to me and said that he is definitely a sociopath/narcissist. he has zero remorse for the things he did to me, and no empathy at all for how i felt. he used me and lied to me for 3 years, and then he was done with using me so he just got rid of me. it has been extremely difficult but i am in therapy and finding my way out of the depression that resulted. my therapist pointed out though that my mother is also a narcissist and that the feeling of familiarity and connection i felt with him probably stemmed from my relationship with her.

ha guess no one has any interest in my story

I can sympathize with you. Although I haven't been involved in a relationship with one, I did have the misfortune of having one living in my house for 18 months. They are so destructive in so many ways, words fail to describe them. The one I knew was a psychopath and con artist. He used our family to hide from authorities due to his bad debt; lied, lied, lied about absolutely everything; stole money from us and left without a word of thanks after using us, our home, facilities, kindheartedness, etc. They do leave a path of destruction in their wake. Consider yourself lucky - he's been, gone, taught you a lot and now you can venture forward in your life with the your eyes wide open as I have done. I certainly am much more weary of anyone who presents as a total charmer or too good to be true. Good luck in your recovery. It took me many months to get over my experience so be patient with yourself.

I do relate & understand. I hope you continue to heal from this horrible assault on your senses and psyche. You sound as if you learned some painful but valuable lessons.
My story involves a person who is the definition of extreme NPD, so I definitely feel for you...

thanks for the responses

I can feel your pain as its very hard to bear such a person who did as much wrong with you and I am confirmed when you was writing your story , you came in depression. You pass through a very hard situation and if I considered myself in your place then I am sure I could not face all this. Hands up for your courage and strength. Just forget then men and never think about him. Ignore him and his thoughts as he was not in this world .Move forward and let happy life.

You poor thing - I suppose there are some similarities to Narcs. The change in who they are after the honeymoon phase etc. But, well done for surviving this and coming out the other side - it must have been an experience you never want to repeat and would rather forget - my heart goes out to you

Yes this is a bad situation to be in, i seem to attract pshycopaths because of my nice personality, i know sometimes i give people the benefit of the doubt, but not so much anymore. I've been in relationships where jeckly and hyde were ways of these people. It usually doesn't show right away, but you don't want it to bloom into the bad scene. Stay away from this person, if you value your life too.

Me. Or maybe Narcissist. He was charm personified. Hypnotising. V handsome. He seemed like a gent but he was so multifaceted I dont think he ever told the truth. He had no remorse, no understanding of what was wrong. He loved lying nearly as much as he loved himself.

Because I could not understand his behavior and find rational excuses I still, 1 year later now since hes gone, find myself trying to work him out. Its like wondering why or how something unexplained happens. Like you see a UFO and it stays in your head for life. Well he is just as inexplicable. Unfortunately.

Your experience is so bad El and I can relate somewhat. Im so glad you got therapy, you need it. People underestimate the power of a negative relationship. I sometimes think the reason this fwit is still in my head is because I didnt get help.

Yes I can relate. I was also with her for 3 years and she was also a bonafide sociopath. Very narcissistic as well. It is worse than dating Jekyll and Hyde, because there is no alcohol or magic potion that creates this transformation, it just happens. I would use Jekyll and Hyde to describe my mother, when she was not drunk she was a lot better of a person, but when she got drunk (every day) her inhibitions are lowered and the monsters inside of her take control. They cause lasting damage in your life, such a relationship is very traumatizing. I can certainly empathize with this misfortune of letting a person like this get so close to you. It sucks the worst how they make you think you are the love of their life and all these big dreams they hold up, I think its a "carrot and stick" method. Wish you the best of luck on your healing journey.

I actually use the words Jekyll and Hyde to describe my partner - it is so often that he is two different people - blows your mind and so confusing!

Sociopaths have an insatiable need to win. This desire to win is so strong that they sometimes will take themselves down in the process of becoming the “winner.” Because they are unable to build real relationships, they view their interactions with others as games. Other people are simply pawns to be played. And because they have no conscience, they make up their own unethical rules for those “games.” They use tactics like mirroring, deception, projection, gaslighting, pity plays, and other forms of emotional and physical abuse to idealize, manipulate, confuse, and intimidate others, all in the name of “winning.Look carefully again at the traits below and be wary if someone seems to fit these.

Won't take no for an answer
Has an obsessive personality
Above average intelligence
No or few personal relationships
Lack of embarrassment or discomfort at actions
Low self esteem
Sociopathic thinking
Has a mean streak
End Stalking In America, Inc.

27. Gaslighting. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts

Yep!

I can totally relate! My so kola thick ex has bullied and humiliated me for years. We were high school sweethearts and although I have had other relationships since, I always end up falling back into his trap. 3 days ago he turned on me again, sending me pics of a new woman in his life, telling me he hated me, doesn't care about me and called me some horrific names to boot. Thing is I just can't let him go! Why? He is the only person who has made me feel so rubbish about myself. He was telling me he loved me and that I was his best friend only a week ago and now he's telling me he loves this new girl and texting me saying how fantastic the sex is with her. It's left me not only jealous but feeling like there's something wrong with me, like I'm ugly and worthless. So why can't I just let him go? Why do I still want him? Any advice you have would be much appreciated