[LoveMe3x]

So... I love this girl and she has BPD. And I did EVERYTHING for her so that she'd be able to live. Paid her bills (Rent, Electricity, Cell Phone, Internet, Meds). I bought her groceries... I went above and beyond because I even got her stuff she'd been WANTING (not needing) for for years. My savings depleted and and I ran up a sizable credit card debt to make her "happy." All I wanted to do was make her happy and only wanted love in return... But, we mostly fought and cried. What did I do wrong? I don't know...

Well now that love I wanted for me, is now for someone else. But she still owes me a great deal of money for helping her. A big bill... talking in the thousands here... I'm debating whether I should ask for ANY of it back. Anytime she borrowed she swore she'd pay me back as soon as she was able to. She was jobless at the time.

She now has an awesome job and a boyfriend. So I'm angry now because I feel very disposed of and forgotten. After all I did. All the love I constantly showed her. I get nothing... no love, hardly a passing thought... and not a cent back for "doing the right thing" even though I was promised otherwise. It's not about the money. It's about giving just a though to my feelings. I mean don't actions speak louder than words??? I gave because I LOVED. And she hasn't given and to mean that means she doesn't love me (she says she does as a dear friend), but evidence shows the opposite. How can you love someone but never consider their feelings? Do you even think about me? How I'm struggling to pay MY bills now? ... nope ... I'm forgotten. I don't matter anymore now that I can't help you anymore. Wow... just ... WOW

[avlady]

lesson learned

[Thorn Bird]

I feel so sad for you - I do hope you can find a way of at least getting some of your money back - she owes you that at least. As for her behaviour you can do very little about that accept perhaps learn a little from it. She has moved on and forgotten you - you deserve so much better - and I really hope you find it

[sabby]

I'm so sorry you are feeling used by this girl. It's certainly a terrible feeling.

I think you certainly can ask her to repay you at least some of the money you forked out for her survival and things you wanted to give her, but I also think you must be ready to accept that she probably won't pay you back. Unless you had any signed agreement from her, you may not have any legal recourse either.

This is a hard lesson for folks to learn but so worth it in the long run. The lesson is for you to empower yourself with setting boundaries for yourself. Learn to say no without feeling guilty. For one to go into debt in order to please someone and have expectations of being paid back when the relationship ends, is a very difficult lesson indeed.

I have been there before myself and know how it feels. In order for me to get through those angry feelings and feelings of hurt, I had to realize that when I did give money to help support a loved one (ex husband from a poor country), when I gave it, it was from my heart and I really wanted him to have the money to help make his life easier and more comfortable. Even though we ended up splitting up after 7 years, I had to keep reminding myself after the initial blow to my heart, that I did what I thought was right at the time. Would I do it again? Probably not. I had to set my boundaries and I had to learn that they survived before me, they will find a way to survive during our relationship and after a split up if that ever happened.

I hope you can work through your feelings as well. It's okay to feel these negative feelings but to carry them for a long period of time only brings you down to a very difficult place. I do realize that there is a grieving period, I went through it too.

[Frank Mandez]

I would suggest you to stay away from that girl because she has no feeling for you.She just ruined your love and use you as a bank account.Don't waste your money and feeling for such a selfish girl.Forget about returning back the money .I am pretty sure that she will not return a single penny to you dude.

Disgusting behavior by the girl
Why are you worried now just ignore that selfish girl and passed away.
Let her remain busy with someone else.She will get the same as she did with you .

[LoveMe3x]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I decided best not to pursue getting anything back. Anything she had of mine she can keep. I don't want it anymore. I don't want anything from her. I just hope she is happy now. I'll deal with my situation as best I can. I have true friends that love & support me (not financially, but support me none the less). I will make it through. My recent post indicates I have finally said goodbye. I was just tired of hurting and decided it wasn't worth it anymore. I'm moving on. Thank you again!