[MissTery]

Well, I guess my title sums it up eloquently. I just recently began a relationship (two months now) with a man who is dx with BP. He was very honest about his dx, and his hospitalization (2 years ago) on our second date. He is very loving, caring and affectionate, but he is starting down a slippery slope to depression. He just lost his job of four months, after being 2 years unemployed. He doesn't want to leave his apartment for longer than a few hours, and hasn't showered for a few days. I'm trying to be encouraging and supportive, but I'm not sure what I can do to get him to motivate. I'm afraid we are starting down the slippery slope to depression, and I don't know how to help him in that sense...
Any advice or help is appreciated

[kaliope]

hi misstery
bipolar is a difficult illness to deal will. id advise you to educate yourself on it as much as you possibly can. there is not much you can do to motivate him, he needs to come up with this on his own. you can point out the things he has positive in his life, but this could irritate him as well. encouraging him to see a doctor for meds is what is in his best interest. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[MissTery]

He is on medication, so thats a positive. I do have a basic understanding of his illness, but gauging his mood swings and his emotional well being are tough, as he doesn't really vocalize. He sees his therapist twice a month and his psychiatrist once a month, so he's being followed by clinicians, and he is diligent with his appointments. Whats affecting me more is the aspect that he is far happier remaining with me in the home than venturing out to "fun" dates... and motivating him to do so is hard because he's pretty adamant that he'd rather be home.

[Blitter2014]

I've had bipolar 14 years now diagnosed, and my wives have seen both the highes where 20 hrs a day of play or work wasn't enough and the lows of not being able to answer the door, phone, open the mail or go out socially.
For me, I know I have to keep daily testing my boundaries. Some days zi know once im up that its a stay hlme and hide day, other days I can work (im a carpenter).

Encourage him to keep testing the waters, sometimes it works, sometimes you have to pack it in and come back home, but I try to remember that just because I could/ couldn't do it yesterday doesn'tmean that today.

I also know I cannot put all my emotional burden on my wife....so make sure he understands the same, otherwise you'll burn yourself out too. Make your friendship precious to him not convenient.....to me its the thought of over burdening/ over cramping/ or suffocating my wife that helps keep me from saying or going too far and makes me get out of my comfort zone, as giving to her helps my focus be not on just what I am suffering through.

Just my three cents worth, less gst. It used to be only two byt I've got to work til I'm 70 now thanks Mr Abbott!

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