A blow right on my mouth!

My son hit me right on my mouth, this morning. He threw a stool at me. I know why... He got triggered by playing with a boy he doesn't know that well. I told his mother that them pretending to practice karate, wasn't a good thing and that my son wouldn't be able to understand the line between real violence and fake.
I had to tell her this twice and yet it was already too late, when she finally told her boy to do something else instead.
It's so hard! I know my son and I try to prevent him being triggered like this, but it sure aren't easy when others don't understand and sees the seriousness of the matter.
It's not cool trying to teach him not to fight... then this kind of thing happens.

We've got a support family for our son now. He's there Wednesday afternoon until Thursday evening. It's a STRUGGLE though! When the mother of the support family arrives to take our son home to their place, he's soooo anxious. We've been forced to carry him out without jacket and boots. He's kicking, hitting, screaming, crying... He's even jumped out off the car two of the times, when the car has started to move. The first of these times, he run around the house in only his socks. The mother of the support family and my hubby ran after him and I ran the other way around the house.
It feels like we're torturing him. Last time the social worker was to drive him to the family in her car. I thought...ok... you try and get him in the car on your own... because she asked us to go inside. Now she knows just how difficult it is! She had to let us help her. Both me, my hubby and the social worker had to combine our strength and thinking. But in the end I was the one managing to calm him down. It's something I've understood... that I'm the only one who really can reach him. That feels good in a way, but it's very draining too. Knowing that I need to be there for him or at least ready to jump in all the time, makes me pretty stressed inside. I HAVE TO FIX IT! I'm the one to help him!

Well... I've been talking to the support family and the social worker about the arrangements. We need to change the routines. He can't feel this bad every time he's going to the support family. As it is now, it's more of a strain than a relief.
I'll continue to write social stories to him, helping him to understand this world and to deal with the day to day obstacles. I love him so very much! I know he's hurting inside, living in a world he doesn't fully understand. He's a smart kid... That makes me proud! Social skills are lacking, though.

Once he's at the support family's home he likes it there. The thing he has difficulties with, is sleeping in their house. He's afraid of them maybe leaving the house during the night. After writing a social story with pictures and text, he's started to feel better about that.

Every Thursday when he gets back home- he's happy and smiling. So at least we know that he's had a good time.

To be alone with our daughter during our son's time at the support family, is just wonderful. She turns into a completely different little girl. She's laughing and kidding around. She needs this so much!

This is so much of a balancing act!

I've not been feeling good at all lately and I'm still really down and feel numb inside. My mind isn't really working... just kind of "sleeping". That makes it so hard, having to think hard how to make our son feel better and working on his and his sister's wellfare so intensively.

Thank you for listening! This place is like a life jacket to me.

nina, i don't know how you do it. i admire you so much and try to always keep sending positive energy to you......you are a true heroine for your devotion and support for your family. love you, pat

awwwwwwwwww..... Pat I was in deep need of these words! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I try my best... but it's hard when my best isn't enough.

((((((((((((((( Pat- a wonderful caring friend )))))))))))

Nina I would give anything if my hubby could come there and help you, he has always had a special talent with children in need

oh Poetrylover... I'm really, really sorry. You are going through so much with him, and it sounds to me as though you are doing EVERYTHING you can for your family, and will an abundance of love. I wish there was something I could do to help you

Thank you, Angie!
Thank you, LMo!

Your support means a lot to me!


I just want to add to my original post... that the social worker... called Ann... is such a wonderful support to our family. It's just that, when our son reaches a certain point she can't reach him. I'm the only one... that after a lot of thinking and actions manage to calm him down. My special educationist says that she really can't understand that I know him so well and his way of thinking. I guess it has to do with me myself having Aspergers too... I don't know... I try to see things in his way of thinking. It takes a lot of thinking!!! Draining!
If you only knew how much, many of you help me. Just a few words, means so much! THANK YOU!

A mother can go far for her children and you do go far.

You are a very wonderful mother!

Thank you, sweet friend!

((((((((((((((( time0 ))))))))))))))))))

You've done so much for me.... Thank you!

Being new here I dont know your story, but it sounds like you have your hands full. If you don't mind, what is your sons diagnosis/ailment?

He's got Asperger's disorder.

Welcome to PC, LovesEcho!

Oh Sweetie, what a strong woman you are. Your son is very lucky to have such a wonderful Mom and I'm sure he knows this.
I wish that you could get more help than what you have. You need time for you sometimes. If for no other reason, to energize yourself.
I'm wishing you and your family all the best that 2007 has to offer.
Much Peace and Happiness!!
Hugs,
Linda

your post struck home on some raw nerves especially when you refered to the new friends , i had this problem with my son as i think i told you before my brother in laws are only a few years older than my son but most of his life i have said hes not allowed to play or watch wwe as he would not now the diferance in playing and real and would take it out on his sisters,
i so feel your struggle to help your son and i hope you find a way to make it more comfortable for all concerened when he goes to this support family,
this didnt work for us and we ended up having someone just come and take son out for a few hours, but i look forward to when eldest daughter stays over at her dads or the hostel,
wishing you lots of luck you are a wonderfull mum

(((((((((((( Boopers ))))))))))))))

((((((((((( Kathy )))))))))))))))))

Thank you, women!

Kathy your support and knowledge means lot to me!

I just feel like going to bed and stay there... I'm depressed... I don't know what to do....

Hi Poetry Lover,

Let's face it. You are being emotionally and physically abused in your own home.

((((((((((((((Poetry Lover)))))))))))))))))))

EJ

just take some time , you can survive this
((((((((((nina)))))))))))))

Nina, we have a place here in Erie called the Barber Center, maybe you could find there site and see if they have some insite for you ideas that can help
Gertrude Barber Center I think thats what you look under
Angie

A colleague of mine is a huge supporter of Dr. Sherry Tenpenny. She is a specialist who deals with autism from a more holistic approach. Her work is being highly regarded among even non-osteopaths. She has written many articles and her practice is flourishing. Please check her out. I realise that she may not be near you, but might be able to direct you to someone in your area that can help where traditional medicine leaves you hanging.

http://www.osteomed.com/

Thank you so much, Angie and LovesEcho! I've looked at both sites and will read some more. Thank you , again!