[tiptoetulips]

Hello,

I came to this site in the hopes in finding some support from well, strangers.
I met a man that is bipolar and have fallen in love with him. Our time together has been short, only a little over a month. But, in this time I have seen an amazing man that is hiding behind humor because I know he struggles with real raw emotion partially because he has been hurt in the past and he is off his medication. I am just barely started to educate myself about this mental illness. I have known a little before, but now it has consumed me...trying to help me undertand him and how to cope with what he has done to my heart. He has been making jokes of pretty much any situation or question since we met and that's ok, but not at all times. Tip-toeing around any serious conversation I've tried to have with him. This should have been a red-flag, but I also can't help how I feel about him.

He was the one who pursued me. He needed me to be around all the time and shared his life and family with me. I could tell by this and the way he looked at me that he cared for me, but I was left filling in the blanks...even more so now that he has completly shut me out. He has changed his appearance from all covered up (glasses, hat, jacket) to looking like a completly different person.

He would never make plans with me in advance, usually depended on his mood. Is this something that he can control or can it be used as an excuse? It was about what he felt like and I went along with it for the most part. Knowing how this sounds...get some self-respect right? But, not always. I have read that this is something that people tend to deal with when their partner is bipolar and to just do your own thing and make plans without him. How is this ok for a relationship? We were new, in the honeymoon phase...I wanted to keep things light right?!

Our intimacy was that intimate, not mind-blowing, but meaningful. He loved touch and something about that meant something more. Just exchanging massages, holding onto eachother sometimes was enough. It WAS something, so why am I making myself go crazy over every look he made at me, how he looked at me, eyes don't lie right?

I wanted to get some answers from him... I wanted to ask him if he would be ok with me seeing anyone else? That I had been asked on a date... I was trying to have that conversation again, to see if we could actually talk about what we wanted from eachother. The only thing we could agree on was that we were not sleeping with anyone else.But during this time, we texted, talked, multiple times a day. Spent almost every night together. Maybe not healthy looking back, but like I said...I was intense, It was the start of something great.

He answered my question with I could do what I wanted and that we were only "casually dating." But, that he wouldn't like it. Ouch to say the least. He also went into the fact that he had met someone else in a group setting and that there could be potential there. It took every ounce of self control no to cry in public. I told him that I didn't want to see anyone else and that he can't just call what we are doing as casual, just because it is convient for him.

We went back to my place and I cried, told him that he broke my heart. While I spoke about my feelings I watched him and he was real silent, still, could get hardly anything from him. He held me in his arms and said he wasn't going anywhere. I feel like that is when I lost him. I feel like I pushed him into anothers arms because I made him feel uncomfortable. He turned into a rock wall.

We met up on New years day. I decided to tell him exactly how I feel, that I love him. He knows that I have never said that to anyone before. He said thank you, and that he knew that it was very hard for me to say that. But, I could get anything else from him. It was like pulling teeth. I told him that it wasn't because I haven't loved before, I just haven't needed to say it before. He sat silent, like stone. I had to play the yes/no question game with him. I told him I had to say it for me and to have no regrets. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I thought, yes I knew he was already scared. Thought he was running from something real, something raw, something that scared me too. I told him that I wanted to be there for him through his ups and downs. I bared my soul...at a starbucks! He said that he couldn't tell me if he loved me, but also couldn't tell me he didn't. It was something, something to hold on to. He asked to see me later that night, we met up, I tried to keep it light. He didn't sit close to me. Drove him home and he said something silly a joke and I said see you later.

Later didn't happen. I gave him his space for a few days and opened my FB account and had a notification . It stated he was in a relationship with a named girl. With pictures and comments, looking happy.

This has not only destroyed me, broke my heart, but I can't understand any decent human doing this to someone that they care about, even if' I was only a friend to him. But i know I was more, and it is making me crazy! Not phone call...coward! I know he is sick and needs to be back on his medication and continue therapy. I just feel like that I will never be the same and will not get the closure I need from him. Even if it was "I hate You" ! Something!

Why do I feel like he pushed me away, it had to be real, part of it wayways?
All the people in my life say I don't want to have a life with someone like that, it would be too hard. But, I love him. How can I stop loving someone who took my gift, my heart and broke me?

I feel like he took a normal healthy woman and made her sick as well.
Everyone says go day by day....I have had heartbreak before, But this is something different something that I feel like I will never understand. Never get the answers from him that I so need and deserve. I see no hope , even though it has to be there. I am taking anxiety pills, but having to take them every 4 hours instead of every 8. How can I erase him from my memory?

Thank you for reading.

Please be kind with replys.

[liliacmoon]

Has no one replied to you? Jesus Christ I have been trying to register and log in to answer for 15 min now!
What I wanted to tell you is that I'm sorta in the same boat here and Im sorry you are going through this! I know how you feel. Only problem is understanding the mind of a bipolar bf is difficult and you may never fully get it. They don't even get it.
I recently ended it with mine after 6 months because there were a lot of things he couldn't handle and in return I would be harsh with him. His way of making things better were to drink and that just hurt me more because he would do it behind my back. So, I was dealing with bipolar, PTSD symptoms and an Alcoholic on top of it. Its now over and I feel like I lost everything we had going on. It makes me wonder if he ever wanted it? Was he just in the moment? I dont know! This whole situation is making me depressed. I have not been sleeping well and barely want to get out of bed, while he just went back to living his life as if I never existed, so I know how it feels. It hurts! I too feel like he took me -a normal healthy woman and made me sick! Do you know who the new gf is? It could of been that he had been planning on being with her or hes doing it because his bipolar is driving him to jump into another relationship especially if hes down from the breakup with you. The one thing I can tell you is that any woman who comes into their lives will have a hard time. Bipolar people usually move very fast when it comes to relationships and then start treating their partner like crap. Moving fast or slow truthfully doesn't matter, unless they are properly medicated the relationship is doomed from the beginning.
The best thing to do is be kind and give them space. I guess the best you can get from that is being their friend. Since you posted, has anything changed? Please update if you can! You would really be helping me out as well. I have not been able to function for days. Not many people can understand! Thanks.

[hamstay]

I understand!!
Healthy to sick!
Did the relationship mean anything?
Was it real?
Feeling like it didn't matter!
For now, I just wanted to share your pain and let you know you're not alone!
As far as my story goes, it seems he will never change, it will always be the same struggle for both.
Some 10yrs later, and also a son, our on/off relationship has been off this time since the beginning of this year.
Do I still love him? - yes
Do I still miss him? - Yes
Does he still love me? - I think so
Does he still miss me? - I think so
But I cant go there, it's not healthy for me!
Yet we still see and communicate very often due to our son.
Take good care of YOU!!

Sent from my C6603 using Tapatalk

[8lablovr]

I am feeling your pain... i was with a guy for almost 18 months who indicated at the end that he is bipolar, and will not seek treatment. He ended it with me 2 months ago, started seeing another woman immediately, and she has moved in with him. the worst part...he lives in my neighborhood and I am confronted with it every day.

I'm not jealous.. just like you, wondering what was real, if any of it, and how could someone who professed to have loved me, done such a cruel thing, to flaunt this new person around. Two conversations after our breakup told me with bone-chilling certainty he is bipolar. Mixed mania was definitely there. one minute telling me he loved me, next minute verbally abusing me. Longest relationship i have been in, but ended the most painful way. Went on and on about how he wanted to remain friends, but then just moves a new girl in within weeks of dating her. Simply lost!