I writing this because I need to find a solution for my life.
I've been all my life jumping from one unhealthy relationship to another one!
My last ones is driving completely crazy.
When I met this new man I have finished a 10 year relationship with a very abusive partner that left me on a very difficult emotional and financial situation. This man seemed so nice and offered me help and affection.
After not too long he started showing a very weird behavior. I want to emphasize that he was nearly separated after 12 year marriage when we met.
One night we went out with some of my friend and he wanted to invite everyone for drinks over and over again. Driving back home he was so upset saying that my friend were rude, that nobody invited him for a drink, etc. and I started realizing that he was always upset for everything. Our sexual life also started deteriorating very quickly to the point that we don't have sex for over 8 months. He gets very upset when I ask for it, but i know that he watches porn everyday.
The reason that he marriage failed is lack of sex and continuous arguments with his ex. Shes very very rude and has a lot of bad attitude with people.
He's tends to be very rude to me, and loses his temper for very small things. He stares other women on the street all the time on a very exaggerated way.
Every time I want to walk away he reminds me that he land me money and tells me that he wants his money back. It is a nightmare.
I got to meet his family, they're lovely people and I believe that they like me a lot. But I just feel unhappy and trapped. I wish I could just pay his money and walk away but I can't.
I need some advise. I feel like I want to die!

[gma45]

I am so sorry you are in this situation. I don't think you need to be with him just because you owe him money. You can still pay him back but not see him anymore. And how do you know his ex has a bad attitude? Seems to me HE is the one with the bad attitude! I don't have any real good advice for you. I am sorry. I hope someone else reads this that does. I just hope you can get away somehow soon.

[waiting4]

I'm also sorry you've found yourself in this very emotionally difficult situation! My only recommendation: if you have no friends or family nearby or able to let you stay with them, the maybe there is a womens shelter in your area you can stay, whilst trying to get back on your feet. His holding money over your head is a tactic to control you and he's obviously a bully, from what you've said, whether he was doing that or not.

You deserve better....don't fall into the trap of being angry with yourself for thinking this man was going to take care of you (until he became weird) ... unfortunately, after coming out of a long term, abusive relationship, we sometimes find ourselves in another, simply because we are needy and abusers can smell that a mile off.

Take care of yourself...and get out as soon as you can.

Thank you guys! I think it is time for me to end up this unhealthy relationship.
Last night we went for dinner with his bro, who came to visit. We're happily talking but I could feel he was getting more and more annoyed. I was going to say something and he turns to me with a very upset face saying: KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!! I felt so bad! But I just told him, in front of his bro that what he told me was very disrespectful and that I will not accept him talking to me like that. He was fuming but he controlled himself.
I will break up before I start hating him.