help!! narc boyfriend

My bf is a Narcissist I have suffered for 3 years his emotional abuse has left me so empty I don't know where to begin in rebuilding my life as he has walked out again its only been 2 days but I am determined to stay away this time.

When first met him I was in a vulnerable state my boy friend of 8 years had just passed away and i was on my own with my son who was 3. I was drinking a lot and was in a very bad place.

I wasn't looking for a relationship but he wouldn't take no for a answer he would be at my door everyday and on the phone when he wasn't able to be. He said he wanted to help me and he seemed like a really nice man totally different from my usual type. We started spending time together he was charming kind seemed really interested in what i had to say he made me feel good about myself we were getting on great. We met through a mutual friend they introduced me i later found out he had been to prison for 7 years for GBH and what i herd about the crime he committed and what i saw in him didn't match at all that should of been my cue to stay well away but i didn't he explained what happened his dad died when he was young he went off the rails and got in with a bad crowd and was in and out of jail and that he regretted it and wanted to turn his life around and i believed him he had a good job seem lovely why wouldn't i believe him.

The relationship became very intense we were together all the time and at the time i wanted to be with him all the time i felt safe and happy when he was around.
I first noticed he was a bit of a control freak he kept on at me about my friends and the place i lived that they were no good and the place i lived was a dump and that i should move in with him he had a spare room for my son it was a lovely area 8 miles away from where i lived i didn't want to move so far away from my friends and family and told him this he seemed a little annoyed but we carried on as we were.
one night we went out for a drink and i noticed he was very paranoid we had a good night and a friend invited us to her house for a drink when we got there i started freaking out saying i had trapped him brought him there to be beaten up ? i was confused as it was my friend s house i just wanted them to meet nothing more than that i tried to calm him down but he pushed my very hard to the ground began kicking me and then ran out of the house i was so shocked i couldn't understand what had just happened. the next day he turned up as if nothing had happened i explained what happened and he appoligised and i forgave him just like that ? i still don't no why but he had a way of put me under a spell and before I knew it we were living together and his behaviour became very controlling, paranoid abusive and violent. He was above him self looking down his nose at people always in with others but at the same time he had double standards as he could do whatever he wanted but if anyone else did they were scum he has 1 rule for him and another for everyone else.
He changed towards me very quickly if went against him for example he did't like one of my friends but I still kept in contact with them he would destroy me emotionally he would use against me things I had told him about my past my weaknesses etc. They would become punishments if didn't agree with him or I wanted space I would get a punishment. he tret my son appallingly he wanted to please him so much he was always looking for my bf approval but never got it.
every time I tried to leave it would become violent and after I had managed to get away he would blame me I was not right I was a psycho he would basicly make out he was a saint all he's ever wanted was happiness etc. he would make me feel so bad and I believed it was me and that I needed him and I would beg him to have me back and he would make it so difficult he would say really nasty things make me feels crap he'd say that I was emotionally torturing him i honestly believed I was I would be so depressed and distraught I loved him so much and felt so bad i wanted him back so much but he wouldn't come back this happened regularly the same cycle over and over.
2 years ago I fell pregnant at this I still thought I was to blame and thought the baby would help us that things would change! he was over the moon as he wanted children but the whole pregnancy was a nightmare the was violent and abusive though out and still i thought it was me.
when the baby came we had 3 months of pure happiness before it all stated again social services became involved because of the violence the made him have a mental health assessment that's when i found out he had narcissistic personality disorder i'd never herd of it before when i looked it up i could believe it all this time he'd been playing me and it was him.
of course he denied it there's nothing wrong with him how dare anyone say anything against him. it finally clicked and i tryed to get him to admit he had problems by not blaming him but being nice but the only time he admitted his problem was when he thought i was going to leave him he would basicly say whatever he needed to whenever he needed to and stupid me believed him. it would never last happy maybe a week or 2 then there would be a issue in the end i would just avoid him and stay in my bedroom and not speak for days because i was scared of speaking up he was like a massive pressure over me he turned completely passive with him i felt like i wasn't in control of my life anymore he arranged everything and i was just told what was happening every time id avoid him he would say i was abusing him but all i was doing was trying to keep myself sane.
this last time i went against his wishes i tried to stand up and say its my life please just let me live it my way if i make mistakes i will learn he took it as a insult and gave me silent treatment then decided we were going out to the park he then starting picking on my son and i got so mad inside i flip i took my son and baby and left him i said id had enough i went home he was there i just ignored him and for 5 days we lived along side each other without speaking until he got sick he didn't like being ignored so he said lets call it a day i said yes please can we i just want you gone he called me the usual nasty's said it was me! all im fault he tried his best etc etc he's doesn't want me playing games he want a clean break no problem i said and after repeating himself a few times he left. ive to pack his things he's coming to collect them today. I just wonder is this really the end ? or is it another punishment to teach me a lesson (as he's loves a good punishment) or has he really gone he said he hates me he was only here for the baby he's never loved me for a long time etc.. is he just trying to hurt me or does he mean it this time? and can anybody tell me does he no what he is doing is wrong ? or is just a big game any advise would appreciated
its been a complete nightmare I thought he could change and always looked as though he was succeeding but I would later find out that was't true.
I really want to break free this time I want my life any advise would be welcome thanks.

hi sazz
just read your own post to see that nothing is going to change. but it is difficult when you are caught in a domestically abusive relationship to break the cycle. try contacting a domestic violence shelter for help to get yourself counseling specific to understanding this issue. you will be more successful in leaving for good.welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome