Anyone here taking care of their elderly parents?

I'm looking for anyone caring for a parent with dementia or Alzheimer's.

F&O

My mother is 87. Not with alzheimer's but of course is becoming terribly forgetful, and what concerns me is that she often gets angry at ME when I'm telling her things she's forgotten or remembering differently

It's tough, eh?

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My dad is 83 and is moving to my city this summer. He's still in ok health, but yes is becoming alarmingly forgetful (left the car running in the closed, attached garage overnight a few months ago). Stressful and sad. My heart goes out to all who have aging parents with problems.

i counsel caregivers of elderly patients. PM me if you'd like to talk........pat

sometimes i help out in the Alz. ward as a student...and i have a grandfather who has alz. if you would like to pm me you can...ill help in any way i can.

My Dad had Alzheimers for the last few years of his life (he died 2001 aged 95) and I helped my mother with him. It is terribly sad and difficult. In fact, when he did pass away, I felt that the real "him" had died many years earlier. He was a gentle, wise man and it was tragic to see him in such a state. However, the worse he got, in fact, the better it was in a way. The hardest time was in the earlier stages when he KNEW he was losing it and still had lucid patches. That was terrible for him.

At that time I was also just starting to bear the full brunt of my daughter (now 16) and her mental disorder. The only bright spot at that time was the wonderful rapport between my daughter and my father. It was one of the (not many) occasions when I saw genuine, selfless compassion and kindness in her. I guess there is always something positive somewhere ?

Now my mother is 98 but thank God is showing no signs of Alzheimers and is in fact as bright as a button. There are times when she runs rings around me for alertness ! Ironically, though, that has its downside too as she is so aware of all the terrible things happening with my daughter and worries so much. Then I worry because SHE is worried and round and round it goes. perhaps, I even think sometimes, it might be easier if she were NOT quite so on the ball. She would have been spared so much of this sadness with her granddaughter. It's a hard call.

Yes...my mom will be 80 this summer but thankfully is in quite good health. However, my dad just turned 85, and for nearly 4 years now he has had some kind of dementia--possibly Alzheimer's. Whatever it is, it's horrible, and I hate it!!

It's so stressful, and Lord knows my mom doesn't need this kind of responsibility at her age. I'm living with them but I'm afraid I'm not much help.

Lots of times I wish I could just wake up and find out it's all just been a nightmare.

I know it's worst for my parents, but it definitely isn't helping my depression. *sigh*

I'll be glad to talk to you with anything. I just lost my grandmother Saturday night. She had Alzheimer's and Dementia. She was 87, and she had it for about 5-6 years I believe.

I'm only 16 now but I know alot about that now. She wasn't that bad at first, she would forget where she put some things, she would get locked out of her house, and basicly, she would forget alot of things. She wasn't that bad the first year I remember. Later, her body started getting weaker (it had to do with her age) and she wasn't able to move around as easily, couldn't do things for herself, and was simply just forgetting more and more. So, since my family only lived down the street from here, my mom and I would go up to her house and make her dinner, and during the day we had a lady come over and take care of her during the day. (she would clean the house, make her food, do the dishes, keep my grandmother occupied) My grandmother enjoyed the company, but sometimes she refused to do things simply because she didn't know what they were and she would somtimes get scared. At night then, she ended up once walking across the street to someone's house. My family and I moved in with her then, since she had a big enough house for all of us. That was a struggle. We lived with her for 2 years and she would get up during the night 3am-4am mostly and be wide awake. She would sometimes hallucinate. It drove my mom crazy since she would always have work and things to do. Basicly everything we did revolved on what my grandmother could or couldn't do. Last May we sent her to a local nursing home, in the Alzheimer's Unit, and she has been there all up until Saturday when she passed away.

My grandmother's alzheimer's got worse while she was at the nursing home though. She also lost 30lbs. So, if you ever consider it, you must beware or the cautions and the outcome of some things.

But I hope I helped you. If you ever need anything I'll be glad to talk. I know it's a hard thing to go through, but just be strong.

Love,

Jessica

my mother in her 80s became psychotic, delusions, with hallucinations, paranoia, and memory problems and was accusing me of going to murder her (which is not true)
She was admitted to a hospital, put on antipsychotic meds, then returned home, but the problem started up again after a week. It was just awful, so I had to move out.
Now my father, he's in his 80s and he was in hospital for serious problem, but he was able to return home. But I worry about him because of his health problems and trying to survive in the community.

My parents dont but my grandpa did. I was one of his caregivers. I can answere most questions about calming the person down, getting them to take there medicaton, Caregiving companies(homecare), physical health, and much more. Happy2Help

I live with my 84 year old mother who is depressed. It's really tough especially in the winter months. I'm 57 and work full time.

Yes my mom is 82 and getting really forgetful! I get at my wits end. Its even tougher for me because i was raised with abuse that was given by her B/f which happened to be her sisters Husband....!! Talk about screwy, aye...but i do the best i can!!

Oh yes like Bud says the winter months are worst...even more depressing!!!

Greetings, I'm a new member. I take care of my father who is 79 years young. He does not drive anymore thank goodness. He has a propensity to wander. At first of the Alzheimer's Association of America, suggested I join their program. But all that entailed a membership fee, and an ID bracelet like a dog. They list my father's name at the local police station and warn them that there might be a problem. I thought this was ridiculous. So I did quite a bit of research online. I found a satellite tracking companies with tiny devices. Spy stuff. Big Brother is watching. But in my case, it is a loving son, keeping tabs on my father as he takes short walks in Central Park. I found a lovely device that looks at the pager. I insert it in his jacket pocket. And now the fun begins. I do not worry any more. I can keep track of him even if he goes to a movie with a friend. I know my father is in the early stages of dementia. But I want his quality of life to be as vital as I can enable it to be . I do have to charge every day, and there is a monthly fee, but it is certainly worth it.If anyone else is interested in alleviating this type of stress in your life. I would be glad to forward you the information.

I am not my mother's actual caregiver. She lives in an assisted living facility. BUT I'm the one who has to make the decisions.... no other family still living. That's a whole nother stressor. First there's dealing with the day to day changes. Then there's the fact that I don't have anyone to help make the decisions or to lean on.

It's been awful. My mother is not only my mom, she's my best friend.

Someone else mentioned that it's like the person you knew dies before their body dies. That's how it feels to me. Some days when I visit she bright, alert and with it. Those days I think there's nothing wrong with her. Other days she's lost, confused and forgetful. Those days are killers. Realize she's not only not going to get better, she's going to get progressively worse. I grive for her even though she's still alive.

This is for all of us in this boat -->

My dad has alzheimer's (84) and my mom is caregiver (81) but I am their only surviving child. So i do my best to help take care of them both.

We just got my dad approved for medicaid - because it won't be too long before we have to put him in a home.

AND my mom is addicted to buying stuff from qvc! I'm trying to protect what assets they have.

very stressful

had-enough

I Take care of my mom round the clock, she also has early on-set of dementia/alzheimhers. She takes Aricept....it seems to be working and
she is not as lost as she was. She seems to be more sharper, and her
cognitive behavior is better too.

I give you great credit for being there for your parents.....many children
just don't care....and when your an only child its even worse.

Feel free to pm me or compare notes if you wish, I WOULD be more than
glad to converse and maybe we could give each other ideas.

Keep posting too and let us know how their doing and take time to
care for YOU.....BECAUSE YOU Are just as Important!!!!

I am helping my Dad to atke care of my 80 yr. old Grandmother

My 80-year-old mother who is dying from lung cancer has moved in with me. She thinks it's temporary and that is okay for now.

She only has 3/4 of a lung as she had her other lung removed almost ten years ago. She is suffering from oxygen deprivation which has impaired her mental status.

The demise of my mother is truly one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed.

(((((To all of you )))))))))))
I took care of both of mine....
To all of you I give you a big hug
I know how hard it is at times
all of you take care of you too
Its one of the hardest things to do
my prayers are with all of you
muffy

((( Muffy )))