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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
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Apr 05, 2007 at 12:35 PM
#1
take care of yourself when you have depression and are caring for another depressive?
My husband was DX'd with Bipolar about a month ago. I really don't think that's what he is but we've been going through the side effects of Depakote. First, it wasn't enough, then it was waaaayyyy too much... and now, who knows. He's milking the effects of the med as well as the DX for all it's worth. I'm having problems dealing with my own depression and feel that I need to stay on him to work through it. It's affecting ME! He doesn't seem to care... about me, about himself and about his own things! I'm quickly reaching the point of... what? ... I'm not sure. I just don't want to handle any of it anymore! I have some self-care issues I need to attend to, but I wake up feeling frustrated and on edge. I try to be supportive to him but end up neglecting myself. Right now, I'm feeling like I want to go beat on his door and yell at him to get his lazy *** up. Ha! It won't work. He'll just get mad and pout. So... I have to CONTROL MYSELF and be gentle and kind. Finding the right amount of firmness is going to be extremely difficult. I would just rather "let 'er rip"!!!!!!!!!!        
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Apr 05, 2007 at 02:16 PM
#2
Oh, hon... I'm in that same place myself right now, with my hubby. It's so frustrating! To feel the loss of energy to take care of oneself and then to have to deal with and support another person at the same time. It's rough! You feel so lost! I'm here if you want to talk, my friend!
(((((((((((( Tomi ))))))))))))))))  
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: cornwall/united kingdom
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Apr 05, 2007 at 02:18 PM
#3
i dont think there is an answer how do you do it, i still havent solved how i care for my 2 add/adhd children and look after my self with my depression when hubby was diagnoised with depression, i wish you luck in finding the answers to your question and sorry im of no help,
((((((((((((((((((septembermorn and hubby)))))))))))))))))) __________________  No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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Apr 05, 2007 at 02:19 PM
#4
((((((((((((((((( Tomi )))))))))))))))) My cave door is open if you want to PM!
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Apr 05, 2007 at 04:23 PM
#5
I'm not nice. I won't give advice, because it probably wouldn't be the very nice thing to do to him.
:C But I hope he gets up and figures it out. And you take care of yourself too, because that's just as important!!! But... if you want him to get out of bed, put itching powder in his sheets. <3 __________________ “For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds.” --- Wintergirls |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
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Apr 05, 2007 at 06:30 PM
#6
Maybe we can share a couple of rants by PM, eh?
 Thanks for the offer to listen. 
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
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Apr 05, 2007 at 06:32 PM
#7
Your understanding and empathy help alot, Kathy. Don't sell yourself short. You're way ahead of the game with that husband you have.
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
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Apr 05, 2007 at 06:35 PM
#8
How about you and Sky just make a little room for me in a corner while I
 my situation? Thanks for the offer, Sweety. Be careful what you leave yourself open to, though!   
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
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Apr 05, 2007 at 06:39 PM
#9
  Morti!!!!!!!!!  Where have you been???? I often think of you and wonder how you are doing! {{{{{{{{{{{ )))Morti((( }}}}}}}}}}}Itching powder sounds like the best idea yet!  Where do I get some of that stuff?? Please come back soon, Sweetie!
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: PA USA
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Apr 06, 2007 at 03:48 PM
#10
okay heres whatca do, leave the ichin powder in his bed, then place saran wrap over toilet seat (remembering it's there when you need potty) then run for the hills when he gets up. hahahaha
seriously sit him down and tell him this is how life is now and to make it better ya need to look out for yourself __________________  A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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Apr 06, 2007 at 09:35 PM
#11
I hope you will take care of YOU first.
You deserve better days and I wish they will come to you soon. Take good care! |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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Apr 07, 2007 at 11:20 AM
#12
Sounds like fun to me!!  I've sat him down and told him I need his cooperation... but, he doesn't care. He doesn't care about ANYTHING!  He took a series of quizzes here the other day and WOW!! The results were BAD! Several of them said he needs to seek professional help but he said he's already on meds. That's enough "profesional help"! Meds aren't going to change all his wrong thinking! They're not gonna kick his lazy butt out of bed and make him do what he needs to do!  "Mama," can I come take a vacation with you? LOL __________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
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Apr 07, 2007 at 11:23 AM
#13
{{{{{{{{{Time0}}}}}}}}}}} I feel I need to take care of HIM in order to take care of ME!
 It's a Catch 22. ARGHI deserve better days! You betcha! I doubt I'm gonna get them, though.  __________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: PA USA
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Apr 07, 2007 at 12:54 PM
#14
Septi, your room awaits, come onnnnnnn over
__________________ A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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20 397 hugs
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Apr 07, 2007 at 03:40 PM
#15
Alrighty then!!
Let me dust off my broom and see if it still fires up. It's given me problems lifting the last few years.
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Ga
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Apr 07, 2007 at 07:54 PM
#16
tomi hon no words of wisdom here but want you to know I am thinking of you hon. (((hugs)))
__________________ He who angers you controls you! |
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