[123Confused123]

Hi,
I am new to this community but am hoping this helps. I recently ended my engagement and am devastated. Even though I am the one that called it off, it's still tough. I'm having a hard time handling it so I've been seeing a therapist. It was recently brought to my attention that I may have been engaged to a narcissist. Honestly, I didn't really know what this was until a few weeks ago.

I was completely, 100% in love with this man (still am). Things seemed to be fine up until we had a huge fight around my family. He ultimately told me no one in my family cares about me and he's the only one that will ever be there for me. I know that is not true, I come from a very close family. Obviously this upset me! Oh wait, did I mention this was during Christmas. Long story short, I said I could not marry him. I wanted to postpone the wedding.

For the first week of our "break up" he was very what seemed to be sad. Said he loved me, never imagined his life without me & I was the best thing to happen to him. We opted to go to couples therapy - no help. He all of a sudden turned & started saying AWFUL things about my family, said he didn't want to live in my hometown (which we had agreed upon) and gave me a list of criteria that needed to be met in order for us to get back together.

Well I wouldn't not give in to his demands but still wanted to try to make it work. Ultimately, he told me he was done trying. Not what I wanted at the time but I had to try to accept it. Within 2 weeks of deciding we were done, he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend he's looking at houses with AND already booked a vacation with. It's an ex from years ago but if still seems very quick. Most people would be mad but for some reason I'm hurt...crushed.

Any ideas on how to move forward? I just keep questioning myself - could I have handled things differently? Did he really love me? Why did he propose?

I hate to say this but the only think that helps is time. Its going to hurt and its going to be difficult to move forward, but what you need to do is find ways to keep your mind off the ending of your relationship. Go out with friends and stuff and stay active. As time goes on, you will feel less hurt

[Zulalives]

Time heals all wounds, though the waiting is insanely difficult. I'm awful at that part. Lol
It sounds like he may have been cheating on you. That's pretty quick to move on in such a way that's they're looking at houses together.
I think you did the right thing and you shouldn't question your decision. You knew in your heart something wasn't right and you made sure you weren't stuck with that mistake.
Maybe he loved you in his own way, which may not be the type of love you would give or expect to receive. If he truly is a narcissist, their "love" is more to do with loving what they get from being with you.

Just keep busy, surround yourself with loved ones and remember that you deserve better and you did the right thing.

[Fuzzybear]