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New Member
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 1
9 |
Mar 01, 2015 at 03:45 PM
#1
I have a friend with AvPD who is also a genius I think. Could you please give me some guidelines as to how to interact with him
to make him feel comfortable? I have worked on a project with him successfully. But most of our interaction was via email or texts. I wanted more face to face time so I invited him to my house for dinner with 10 people. That was a big mistake since I could tell he was very uncomfortable. Now I am trying to rebuild his trust. I asked him if we could work on another project which would be strictly business with no social components. He seems to be OK with that. What should I do and not do to make him feel comfortable. He will still text from time to time but not much like he did before the fateful dinner. Before the dinner he was a great fun and funny texter and an extremely interesting person. |
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 2,564
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Mar 01, 2015 at 11:17 PM
#2
Ask him what would make him feel comfortable. Do not invite anyone else to be there when he is without asking him first. See if he has any other friends that he feels comfortable with.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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Mar 02, 2015 at 02:10 PM
#3
It's possible that he still feel bad about the dinner. If he is an avoidant, he tríes badly avoid any situation that can set him in a position to wake up criticisms or being rejecting.
Be patient, give him space...perhaps he is not in mood to talk, that's why he need space. It's a very good offer the one you made him, about doing another project together. So, I think you are doing well. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2013
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 4,166
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Mar 04, 2015 at 07:37 AM
#4
He's possibly beating himself up for not being more happy, social, etc at your dinner party.
Try inviting out to 1:1 activities. I'm way more comfortable in that situation, or in like a group of 3 as long as I definitely know one of them. __________________ "The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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 Puffyprue
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,465
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Mar 16, 2015 at 03:15 PM
#5
 
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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