[shesworthit]

Hey guys, this is my first post here so I guess I'll just jump right in.

I've been dating a girl for almost a year that I've absolutely fallen in love with, and she loves me. That's the amazing part. The less-than-stellar part is that she's been dealing with a lot her whole life. She's had diagnosed ocd since she was 6, and she's also on medication to deal with depression and separate medication to deal with her pmdd (which compounds things more since it's a hormonal imbalance issue). Because of the pmdd, she's had anxiety that comes and goes...

...this is getting long. Anyway, we've been having issues lately with getting intimate. She has a habit of keeping things to herself to try to keep it under control and not think about it, but she finally told me the other day - after she began uncontrollably crying during the beginning of love-making and I didn't want to keep going because she wasn't comfortable or happy - that she's been getting really bad anxiety for the past month or so when the idea of being intimate comes up. Not because of me, but because she had a really bad break-up a few years ago that was her last *real* relationship. She doesn't like to talk about that so I don't press, but all I know is that he shattered her trust and nearly broke her (it compounded with her parents' divorce that led to her trying to kill herself by downing too many pills...though her family doesn't know that, they just thought she was sick that day).

Long story short, she says that its almost PTSD-like symptoms from that relationship, and the idea of being intimate with anyone gives her really bad anxiety and puts her stomach in knots. She says she should see someone or seek support, and I've told her I want to wait until she's ready again to make love, and that could be a long time, but in the meantime I'm really frustrated because I want to help her, but besides being supportive and loving I simply can't do anything. I so desperately want to just hug her so hard one day that the pain will go away...I know that won't happen but if anyone has any good advice or resources...or simply kind words, that would help so much.

Thanks for reading/listening.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry she is going through so much anxiety. Encouraging her to find a therapist to help her through this would definitely be a starting point. I think the longer you are together the better she can trust you, therefore, lessening the anxiety. I hope the two of you find a way to work things out.

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC) shesworthit. Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble in your relationship with your girlfriend. It is so difficult for me to see someone clinging to their suffering, but every person reacts differently.

Some people at PC will find a therapist or couples counselor will help them sort out things.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.