[CaliSunshine]

Hello all,
This is my first and a somewhat desperate post. Would love to hear any ideas on the topic. I am an adult daughter of a narcissistic mother. She's now in her late 60s and we live in different countries. Our relationship has always been difficult and the last 10 years or so it has completely deteriorated. I've thought of cutting off any contact with her many times (since interactions with her hurt me), but the guilt trips she sends me on still sort of work and I feel bad...end up letting her continue the emotional abuse. My question is: as I move to limiting my contact with her more and more (for the sake of my and my family's well being), how do I make peace with it and heal and stop feeling like I'm a terrible person (even though I know it's just her manipulation speaking in my head)? Just as a side note, I'm still here for her from a financial / support stand point. Basically, I do everything and anything she might need, but just can't be emotionally involved with her anymore.
Thank you all very much

[Ruftin]

(((Cali))) I am the daughter of a narcissistic father. My family had to slowly withdraw from him one a time and he doesn't seem to mind living alone holding to the thought he's done nothing wrong.

He lives next to us but is unable to come over often due to an old hip fracture that didn't heal well because he wouldn't follow doctors orders due to "the doctors didn't know what the he*l they were doing" according to him. He listens to and respect no one!!

We check on him every day but try to avoid staying long enough to be verbally attacked and/or manipulated. I still feel guilt, but have to stay away in order to protect myself. My mom just left him about 5 months ago because she couldn't stay with him any longer and she now lives with us.

I think the guilt we feel is a part of the deep emotional scars we've received due to the effects of the years of manipulation. Please know it's O.K. for you to protect yourself from the attacks as you feel necessary.

[Fuzzybear]

[hjames]

I've been virtually contact-free of my narcissistic mother for 15 years. She's 84 and still dangerous if I was to make contact. Don't expect it to feel good. Just expect that you'll be able to move on better without that burden.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Atypical_Disaster]

This may sound callous but the more you give her support of any kind the easier it's going to be for her to manipulate you. The only way to be completely free of someone this toxic and to start the healing process is to cut her off completely. All you are doing right now is allowing her to exploit you further. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. Make a plan to cut off all contact and then implement it. You can't start healing from something like this until the person is out of your life.

[Bean428]

My mother is narcissistic as well. Cutting off all contact as soon as possible is going to be best for your emotional and mental health i think. i know how draining it is living with the guilt trips and the lectures about how youre not good enough or you need to do this or you should be more that. You don't need someone who is that manipulative in your life. Itll be tough but just stopping contact in whatever way possible i think would be best.