[Seeker101]

My mother, who is an undiagnosed BPD or NP, has been home less than a week from her 4.5 month episode of 3 hospital stays and 3 skilled rehab stays.

She is not compliant with doctors orders, doing nothing for herself, and laying on the guilt. I am her live-in primary caregiver.

I know I should be NC with her, but she is so chronically ill and fragile that I am at a point that I have to see this through till she dies. And that may be sooner than later. Or not. Who knows about these things, ya know?

I am just so frustrated with her behavior. She adds more and more for me to do. She adds more and more to the grocery bill, and she DOES NOT GET that we have very limited funds. I seriously think that she thinks I can poop $500 at will whenever it's needed. It's maddening.

My sister is no help. Financially or emotionally. In the meanwhile, I was so skillfully manipulated over the years by my mom, and me being the BPD who just wanted to be accepted, that I am bankrupt. No job, no income, no savings, no retirement.

My house is a pressure cooker and I suspect it's going to get worse by a lot before it gets better.

I just needed to rant a little bit and get it out of my system. Thanks for reading.

[gayleggg]

Seeker, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. It must be really hard without any support financial or emotionally. It is very commendable that you want to see it through until the end. You are welcome and encouraged to vent here anytime you need to.

I was a caregiver for my father, who was difficult to say the least, so I understand what a thankless job that it can be. Do the best you can to take care of yourself.