[cf.sampson]

my boyfriend accuses me of stealing, looking through his phone and computer even though i never had, but he searches mine all the time. if i put a passcode on it I am hiding something, but he has always had a passcode and has never told me it. He accuses me of cheating, lying, not doing it but making it seem like i did just to mess with him, playing games, and maybe im not the one messing with him but i know who is, plotting against him, talking bad about him behind his back, that i get together with his friends and decide what he deserves, that i take pleasure in messing with him, that i have a stirring crap attitude, little innuendos. He also searches my apaprtment, my phone, my computer looking to "catch me" doing something wrong. asking if i am recording our conversations, looking for camcorders, even removed my medicine cabinet thinking i had one behind it, told me someone is listening to our conversations in his apartment, my apartment his truck my car (he even used paper and pen one time to talk to me, saying he knows when i am lying (but really his lie detection is truly broken), i have given him $2800.00 to help him not lose his apartment, truck etc just the other day said i was hoping he would get kicked out, telling me i am the reason he is going to kill himself, he has physically hurt me and blamed me for causing the fight and so much more....

Now, i will be honest, i lied in the beginning about chatting with a guy that i had been chatting with before i met my boyfriend. he and i were not titled as boyfriend/girlfriend as he said "why do we even need a title? Didn't you already know?" Yes i should have told both of them about eachother, unfortunately i made the wrong decision and have apologized over and over again. Also when he and i argue, i alot of times would talk to my friends just to vent (it helps to talk things through with someone else). majority of it i would blame on him (because really it was him), but I can see how it can be seen as talking crap. Now, I have never cheated, never set him up never did any of the stuff above or anything else you can think of that someone with no heart would do...

i just need to find something that i can clinically reference these things so that i can justify his thinking. Maybe understand what is really going on. He has a masters in social work. LMSW. he is very intellegent and talks down to me by telling me what my texts or words really meant. Tells me what he thinks i meant etc. that he can tell when im lying... his lie detector is seriously broken. I get so confused and lose my words and can't handle any more of this. i feel like giving up on him, but i love him.
Can you help?

[Mygrandjourney]

Having a master's degree is no guaranty that he himself doesn't need professional help. If he is paranoid, anxious, controlling/dominating, belittling, etc and has physically abused you, it does sound like classic domestic violence to me (I'm an LCSW as well).

[Artchic528]

Why do you love such a controlling abusive man? There's nothing to justify in his defense. He was abusing you. Get away from him ASAP.

[iwonderaboutstuff]

Is he a drug user? Sounds like some behaviors associated with one to me.

Trust is an important part of a good relationship.

[comethisfar]

Regardless of what his issue is you should not tolerate abuse ever. This is about you, not him! All the best!